The Official
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---a story that you must read---
(if you really don't want to read this story then just skip it all to get to the info on the band)
The Kindergarten Punk Scene
By:
Eric (80%)
Matt (7.5 %)
Dave (7.5%)
Wally and Tito the Janitor (5% for inpiration)
Once upon a time, Bobidiah was a kindergarten punk. He weighed in at 42 pounds and 9 ounces. The extra 9 ounces being the gel in his hair. He had natural blonde hair but no one could tell considering he had a 8 inch blue mohawk. He wore a wallet chain down to his ankles even though it was only a foot and a half long.
One day, as Bobidiah was going to a Mr. McFeeley and the Speedy Deliveries show, he was confronted by some trendy rap hoodlums. The rap hoodlums said that they hate punk and they're going to take over the world. Bobidiah got scarred and ran home.
The next day at school, Bobidiah ran into the same home boys. They "jacked him up" against a nearby locker and said, "We're going to take over the world and thereıs nothing you can do! We're going to force everyone to listen to rap all day long! Ha Ha Ha." This upset Bobidiah but he knew that there was nothing he could do about this by himself. Just then, Wally the Janitor showed up on his motorized Service Master Carpet Scrubber and saw the trouble that Bobidiah was in. Wally the Janitor quickly pulled out his mop and slop bucket and got medieval on the rap hoodlumsı buttocks. The trendy rap kids managed to escape Wally the Janitorıs tremendous wrath and ran down the hall dropping Bobidiah.
Wally the Janitor helped Bobidiah off the ground and asked, "What did those youngsters want with you, Bobidiah?"
"Those kids said they hated punk and are going to take over the world!" Bobidiah replied.
"I'm sure they were just joking around." Wally the Janitor said as he left on his Service Master Carpet Scrubber.
When Bobidiah got home he was still worried that the rap kids would take over the world and make everyone listen to rap, but he decided that even if the home boys were planing on doing so, he wouldnıt be able to do anything about it. Bobidiah tried to talk to his parents about it but they just wouldn't listen. Bobidiah called his friend, Jedidididididididiah, to talk about it but they got side tracked and spent 3 and a half hours arguing over if Bouncing Souls of Anti-Flag was a better band. Bobidiah was so overcome with confusion that he just decided to go to a Mr. McFeeley and the Speedy Deliveries show.
At the show, Bobidiah was having a super time skankin' in the pit when a song Bodidiah had never heard came on. The song was called "Donıt let the trendy rap hoodlums rule the world and make everyone listen to rap for the rest of their lives." As Bodidiah was enjoying this song, he realized that he shouldn't let the trendy rap hoodlums rule the world and make everyone listen to rap for the rest of their lives!
Bobidiah quickly ran out of the show and quickly ran into the home boys. The rap kids picked Bobidiah up and said, "We just thought that youıd like to know, we're taking over the world tomorrow and thereıs nothing you can do to stop us!"
"I bet I can," Bobidiah said, "Just tell me your diabolical plan and Iıll tell you if I can stop you or not."
"Okay." The home boys said, "First, we're going to strategically place satellites around the globe so that they will send down messages to all the computers in the world making them incapable of going online. Next, we're going to steal something incredibly important from every country and make all the nations give up their power to us. And finally, we're going to create different scandals for every nation's leader, except our country because our leader isn't having any trouble doing that on his own.
"How did you ever come up with such a vile plan?" Bobidiah asked.
"We just recently purchased the new Take Over the World program from Microstuff."
"Oh, I see," Bobidiah said, "but guess what? I just recently bought the Stop People From Taking Over the World program from Microstuff and Iım going to stop you."
"You'd think that wouldn't you? But you forget that you're not able to escape us right now. Unless of course if Wally the Janitor were to show up again."
Just then without and warning, Wally the Janitor and Tito the Janitor showed up on their Service Master Carpet Scrubbers. They quickly jumped off their Service Master Carpet Scrubbers and pulled out their mops and slop buckets and got medieval on the rap hoodlums' buttocks. The rap hoodlums managed to escape Wally the Janitor's and Tito the Janitorıs tremendous wrath and ran away.
"Thanks for helping me out again Wally the Janitor," Bobidiah said, "but the trendy rap kids really are planning on taking over the world. They told me their sinister plan and Iıve got to stop them."
Bobidiah told Wally the Janitor and Tito the Janitor what the rap kids were planning on doing. Tito the Janitor had a very concerned look on his face.
"I think you should know that the Stop People From Taking Over the World program from Microstuff has a serious bug in it and it doesn't work." Tito the Janitor said, "There's only one way to stop those fiends."
"What's that Tito the Janitor?"
"With the go go ray."
"What's that Tito the Janitor?"
"I"ll show you." Tito the Janitor said as he pulled the go go ray out of his pants.
"WOW! That's amazing! Itıs the coolest, weirdest, most ambiguous thing I've ever seen!"
"Quick!" Tito the Janitor said, "We must stop those rap hoodlums!"
All three of them got on the two Service Master Carpet Scrubbers and headed into the direction the home boys ran. They finally caught up to the rap hoodlums and ran them over with their Service Master Carpet Scrubbers. The trendy kids were not dead of course, they were just very clean.
"It's too late," the rap hoodlums said, "You cannot stop us from taking over the world now!"
"Thatıs what you think you sudsy fiends!" Tito said as he pulled out his massive go go ray and stunned the rap hoodlums. Bobidiah then went behind the trendy rap kids and whacked them with the mop and slop bucket while Wally the Janitor set the world straight through his Service Master Carpet Scrubber Central Computer.
The next day in school, everything was back to normal. Bobidiah, Wally the Janitor, and Tito the Janitor had a special assembly were they received awards for saving the world from the trendy rap loving hoodlums.
Bobidiah grew up to become Tim Armstrong
Wally the Janitor and Tito the Janitor were already old so they died of natural causes. They were buried in riding positions on their Service Master Carpet Scrubbers. Their mops and slop buckets were cremated and placed in the Janitor Hall of Fame.
THE END
The names and identities of the characters in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and so that we donıt get sued.
that was a story that Matt, Dave, and I had to write for English class...it was a contest to so what group could write the best narrative...we won so badly that the teacher didn't even count the votes. oh yeah...we had to read that in front of the class...you don't know how hard it is to say "Tito the Janitor pulled out his massive go go ray..."
Hey you wild and crazy peoples you. You've stumbled on to THE OFFICIAL MR. MCFEELEY AND THE SPEEDY DELIVERIES page. It's all over folks. Yup, you heard right. That PA punk band you all loved so (HA!) is done. I'm keeping the page up so you peoples can still come here if you're bored. So i guess you want to know what McFeeley was, well...
this is something funny for chris....i bet you didn't think i would actually put that, did you?
this is something stupid for chris....i bet you didn't think i would actually put that, did you?
DON'T FORGET TO SIGN MY GUESTBOOK. You can email me (Eric) at the address below if you've got some questions on McFeeley but I rarely check that mail so don't expect a reply.
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thanks all you peoples who actually liked us and came to our shows (and stayed to listen for that matter!). you're why mcfeeley stayed together for as long as we did. and to all of you who didn't like us...YOU'RE THE REASON I HAD TO SIT AND LISTEN TO THE OTHER GUYS IN MCFEELEY TRY TO PLAY CLOSING TIME! DAMN YOU!
İ 1997 mcfeeley@hotmail.com
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