Now that's school's back in session and
all you guys and gals are hitting the old history books, Vic Masters wants
to help. You might not think of Vic as a Great American but his show embodies
what this country is all about. Freedom. Where else but America can a guy
record his band, then automate and put 'em out of work and then perform
to scratchy old records. Only this kooky USA grants Vic the freedom to continually
risk bodily harm and personal shame for your listening pleasure. If you
saw his "Act Like You're American" show this past Independence
Day , you probably don't need a refresher. Enter now!!
Photos by Nick Foster & Lisa Haslbauer
Look at all you can win!
Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen's 1967 spoken
word album contains the Top 20 hit "Gallant Men" plus "The
Gettysburg Address" and 7 others. It's got a great beat but ya can't
draft dodge to it!
A Playbill of the "Act Like You're American"
show autographed by Vic Masters himself!
A personalized Vic Masters Sings...Just For You
boxed set with your personalizedl bonus song choice. Any song you want.
Really!!
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT GREAT AMERICAN VIC IS SUPPOSED
TO BE?
Clue 1. I'm riding and waving in an open convertible
surrounded by Secret Service Men!
Clue 2. My lovely wife is wearing a cute pink
outfit, as you can no doubt see from the grassy knoll where you're standing.
Clue 3. If not for my untimely death-Beatlemania
would never have happened in this country!
Clue 4. There's a sign on the back of my car
that reads "Sorry Girls, He's Married...and About To Be Killed!
Clue 5. (Right) Here I am after being shot,
with one of the forensic experts join me in a rendition of "I Think
I'm Going Out of My Head." Got it yet, Sherlock? Who am I?
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT NO-SO-GREAT AMERICAN VIC
IS NOW?
Clue 1. I was acquitted in a Criminal trial, found
guilty in a civil but still get to play all the golf I want each and every
day. Here I've got a 10 iron!
Clue 2. Here I am singing "Mrs. Brown You've
Got a Lovely Daughter".
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT GREAT AMERICAN VIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE?
Clue 1. When I was shot one night at the Ford Theater,
it was the start of interactive entertainment!
Clue 2. I wrote a 3 minute speech on an regulation
sized envelope!
Clue 3. I'm on that 5 dollar bill you use to
buy crack!
O.K genius-WHO AM I ?
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT GREAT AMERICAN VIC IS SUPPOSED
TO BE?
Clue 1. My death brought attention to the plight of oncoming trees.
Clue 2. My ex-wife badmouthed me in life and
now wants to contact me in death.
Clue 3. Trees keep pounding lumber to my brain!
La dee da dee dee! La dee da dee DIE!
Decipher these abysmal disguises and send your
entries in to:
Name that American c/o SERENE DOMINIC /New Times
P.O. Box 2510, Phoenix, AZ 85002
or email
vicmasters@yahoo.com