Damn Blossoms (4/8/96)
Everyone wants to see the damn Cherry blossoms - to relax -. To relax ?! With about a million other goofs; walking blindly around that nasty tidal basin with dead fish floating around amidst plastic bags and beer cans? Relax?!
Each cherry blossom tourist should be required by the part service to pack a bag of garbage out and write and essay on why they suck so bad. Or, there should be a bring-a-kid program or an entrance exam, something easy like, "what are the three branches of the federal government?"
...or something
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Luddite Manifesto (4/10/96 and tomorrow)
I despise fluorescent lighting.
Television is killing us.
I hat the telephone.
E-mail and cell-phones annoy me.
I am bothered by the internet.
Car alarms?
Conference calling?
I reject family and acquaintances
Friends, music and the written word are what really matters.
I desire intelligent conversation laced with the bizarre, the cynical, the silly.
I want to love and be loved...insanely!
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Life is Special (4/18/96)
Although people come and go
I believe murder is the very deepest of wrongs.
...many thoughts about life, happiness, peace, friendship and wellness.
...as always...many thoughts about sex.
...reinvention is nearly complete, I think. At least I am cognizant of its occurrence.
..all thoughts return to sex.
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All my realities are temporary.
Tonight we were talkin' 'bout "freaks" and "household names."
Only if it were so simple.
As if it were a title, like V.P.
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Ode to the blank page
This page [click] has intentionally been left blank. It symbolized all that is wrong with everything; all that is wrong with me; all the misplaced, ill-used, squandered "potential" and "opportunities" inherent in ME.
In an effort to find (make/develop/potentiate) what is right with everything; all that is right with me; focus; execute;develop...I must sacrifice the [linked page].
The time has gone. The future has past. Is it too late or is it "never too late?" How the fuck does one know? But, the page must remain blank...executed to free the others. Sacrificed to free my mind.
I will let you fly, page. I will let you die. But, I will live, prosper, succeed, and , fly with the mightiest of birds.
It only gets better!
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Filling pages, like shoveling shit
Why does it have to be done...for profit?
Do it for love, like those threes over those fours.
Do because you have to. Not 'cause you want to.
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It's amazing how little is REALLY
IMPortant
but
the things that ARE Really
IMPORTANT
are
REALLY Important
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Friendship
is
the
most
beautiful
thing
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People (-April 18 1996-)
It's PEOPLE who make an existence a quality experience. As someone very special once alluded: "people not computers." Of course, this was that person's computer finger file. The MESSAGE, however, is what has finally surfaced. Now I know. Is it too late? I'm hoping not so. Even though the messages are MIXED, I'm starting to understand.
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The Hangover from Inside: My last Drop of Tequila (4-26-96)
Ouch! My head feels like a pipe-bomb fucking exploded in there
I cannot open my eyes
I want to puke
My spine feels of broken glass
Why are snakes writhing in my gut?
But, I'm fucking alive!
I've again seen the devil and lived to tell tales...ugly motherfucker
[Anne IS my angel]
I'm so sorry
My mouth feels like desert storm (the war)...sick, twisted, dry, oily, grainy
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The Perfect Light (April, 1996)
My light is perfect.
My head is high.
I'm being there.
God damn
God Damn
Fairies strum around me.
As I crawl towards the good music
I've made extremely rational choices about which are the appropriate cookies.
This is who I am
These are my dreams
Groovin' to the old-school, new-school jams.
Whoo! God damn.It's so clear, so damn clear!
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Standing on-line
While standing "on-line" @ the local "fast-food" joint, I "discovered" that I AM "superior"...but, I am "willing" (at this time) to "participate" in, to "play along" with our "society."
For now.
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The American City (5/14/96)
It's been bothering (intriguing) me for a few days now. I've struggled to find the time (space) to ponder (write) its weight:
"TY": I love the "T" & the "Y." Especially in all its uppercase glory. Together, of course:
The 'T': Bold, black, heavy, powerful. Infallible, unflappable, essential.
The 'Y': Definitely lemon flavored...not REAL lemon, but that "lemun" from the creamy center of a Hostess fruit pie [you can taste it, can't you?!]
TY
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I am so far into my psyche. Part II. 5/14/96
A) the deeper I go, it becomes all to obvious how deep thoughts can be, or go [an important variation]. As depicted in the Bros. Crumb movie, sometimes you just "go there." On the surface, things are dismissed...upon closer analysis, breadth, scope, passion, conviction and determination emerge as, not only, motivational forces, but, as the essential elements to sustain life.
2) It is not the PRODUCT that is the most significant outcome, but the MEANING. The significance is the significance. To superficially focus on the outcome measures is to cheat the human spirit; the "soul." What is emerging as IMPORTANT is the wake of the experience; the results (outcome, by default).
X) In discussion, I'm finding my light, my voice, as it happens spontaneously...not by force, coersion or prostitution.
Damn!
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Theories of Individual Existence
There comes a time when a person begins to recognize and understand the depth of others.
That other life exists simultaneously.
everyone is equal
we all take up the very same cosmic space
my existence balances (equally) with yours or other's existence.
Everyone is everywhere
all balancing on the same point
in time and space
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Sitting in the bathtub
eating hot, buttered popcorn
I find myself wildly amused
at the alternative language I found
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