Once upon a time, not so long ago, there lived a man named Vinny and he was so lovable. One day Vinny was feeling lucky, so he decided to go down to the track. But then he thought, "Yo, I needs somes green" and Vinny was dried clean. So Vinny waited near the street till a car came by. Then Vinny jumped to the sky, and into the car, oh my. Since Vinny use to run "hit and run" scams, he was no amateur canned ham. He thought, might as well try and make it look like I die.

Well the car stopped, and the driver came out, saying "OHMIGOD, I hope you don’t die!". Vinny was lying on the ground in front of the car holding his eye. Vinny said "Ouch my’s hip, I can’ts tell anyone thats it needs to be fix, give me some green and then I don’ts be mean." The Driver screamed "You son of a... I remember you, I hit you last week, and you took my pay from here to next week."

The driver ran into the car and shouted "I know your scam, I know it well, Vinny you punk, you can go straight to hell." So the driver pressed on the gas and missed Vinny’s ass, but crushing his legs so now he’ll need pegs.

Vinny can’t walk or even talk. Vinny cried, "HELPs me Helps me! I just lost my knees, won’t you’s please helps me helps me please?"

Well what do you know, as Vinny crawled to the sidewalk what did he see, he saw Joe his loan shark, the man he owned mo-ney. You see Vinny is Joe’s best customer, but Vinny hasn’t won anything since 1973. Vinny screamed "Help me’s, I’s can’ts walks!" Joe came by looking for a talk.

Joe walked to Vinny, and picked him up by his feet. "You owe me money, so now your dead meat." Vinny said "No, I cans pays you’s tomorrows!" and Joe replied "Since you have no collateral, I’ll break your arms. Cuz to me, it doesn't matter-at-all". As Vinny felt has arms snap like twigs, he felt himself flying into a pile of bricks.

Now Vinny is in an alley, a place that you shouldn’t be, feeling kinda faint, Vinny fell asleep.

"Jo’s ma-ne, Ju’s En our Turf!" shouted a lady.

Vinny woke up to look for a lady, but it was no lady it was the chicana named Sady. You see Sady is the leader of the Lovely Chicana, and Vinny knew that there isn’t another minata. This female gang was none to be messing with, and the biggest problem was that this lady was pissed. "Jo chico, get out of here" , "I’ms sorry, but I can’ts moves my rear" hollered Vinny. So Sady said "Den ma-ne we gonna make ju’s sheds yo tears."

So the Chicana’s beat Vinny to a pulp, and he was left with no hope. They hurt Vinny bad, so bad that Vinny will never be a dad. Now Vinny is lying on the sidewalk, crying like a hawk. "Helps me’s, Helps me ands please no mean talk!!!"

But what does Vinny see. Is it Old Granny Wilson coming to save Vinny?

Granny Wilson lived in the neighbourhood since 1853, and she was sick to see someone like Vinny. She saw her neighbourhood go down hill, after the drug raid of her little son Bill. "Now it's time to kill, son!!!" said the little old granny. "No’s you’s don’ts understands!" screamed Vinny. "Don’t ask me for money you damn drug bastard, why don’t you run, run away faster?". Granny just hit and hit Vinny with her purse and it hurt Vinny the worst. As Granny hit and hit, Vinny began to feel like shit. Vinny had enough, so he rolled down the sidewalk to go find some help. Vinny thought, maybe I can get mouth-to-mouth.

Vinny rolled to a church and met with a priest. This church located near the south east. The priest said "Oh my son, I’ve see your a naughty one, pretending to be disabled, just to have fun!" Vinny cried "NO father, I needs yours help!". The father then pulled out his leather belt, and began to pelt on Vinny’s scalp. "You will be punished for your sins." preached the priest. "I’ms gonna ta rolls, rolls down da street" screamed Vinny.

Vinny rolled and rolled into the hood. If only Vinny knew where he stopped he’ll roll out for good. "You best be’s playin’ or my boys will be slayin’" hollered Daddy Mac. Vinny saw the Crips and nearly had a heart attack. You see the Crips were a gang that liked to see pain. Then suddenly it began to rain. Bullets that is... The bullets hit Vinny and he began to wiz.

On the sidewalk there was a streak of red and yellow, and at the end of the steak was a rolling little fellow. Vinny rolled and rolled till the firing stopped, cause now Vinny can see a cop car. "Helps me’s damn’s it!" cried Vinny "I’ve rolled so damn far".

"Well well well, what do we have here?", "Just another dead beat junkie, crying from his rear!" said the two officers. "Let’s book this grade-A loser, so he’ll have something to fear." So the officers handcuffed Vinny and they saw that he was very skinny. However, the officers haven’t seen action since they joined the force, so they decided to have some fun and through the expense of Vinny ofcourse. They whipped out their nightsticks and gave Vinny an ass-whoop. They gave Vinny a beating that would never stop stinging, and if Rodney King could watch, he’d probably stop eating.

As Vinny was sent to jail, he was crowned without bail. But this didn’t matter to Vinny you see, the whole town loved Vinny no matter how skinny. They loved him from head to toe, but most of all the whole prison loved Vinny even mo’.