NROL 21 Eighty Sixed
In low orbit we strike defective satellite
Must die in flight this night
NROL 21/USA-193
Launched into the atmosphere
To remotely sense what we want to see
Crippled upon orbit, poor thing was a no go
And gravity is far reaching
It was descending ever so slow
With a thousand pounds of unused hydrazine fuel
And a payload of sensitive technology
We've got ourselves an expensive and dangerous mule
And the perfect target to display our accuracy
A missile defense cruiser fired a modified SM-3
Aimed directly at the fuel container
Vaporized and blown to smithereens
A bullet striking a bullet Algorithms employed
Reagan's dream is it realized?
SDI with which not to be toyed

Green Thumb Dementia
I hate it when I survey my lawn, and this weed is encroaching everything
The irritating plant destroying my driveway, to its roots my fingers cling
And though with every effort, and every spray I can muster
This dang weed infests my lawn and life in barbaric cluster
How can I kill the lawn weed?
How can I make the grass bleed?
At war I am with Digitaria
Striking at its core green thumb dementia
It spreads like a disease
But that crass grass will not latch
It knows no boundaries
It's finally met its match
Let the seed's death begin This is a war I will win
I will fight and take this battle to a new level as yet seen
I will implement a multiple stage chemical war machine
Pre-emergent herbicides seems to be the key
I will infest and dig them up and plant non invasive grass seed

The Assault Of The Clock
At the home of James Monroe, setting on the mantle, across from their bed in their homestead
Lies a clock dating to a time, a time long since past, but once inspired a rhyme, ticking in my head
Hickory Tickory Dock Something’s in the clock Wreaking havoc in the gears Embracing all our fears
Tickory Trickery Clocked Something’s in the clock Wreaking havoc in the gears Embracing all our fears
The mouses ran down the pendulum, scuttle butting along, They make their mark on history
Mr. President working at his desk, ever mindful and aware of time, little mices, the hands are changing
Oh happy joy joy, let the alarms ring The master here of the house can sing
For even though the mice have messed up time He can set all his pieces to an atomic clock hyperfine
Oh wait no more joy, no synchronization, nineteenth century limitations
A cesium standard for temporal accuracy was not invented, the mice achieve victory

Gabbylove
I remember the first time
you crawled into our lives
You made your love known
from the moment you arrived
Now, I was smitten from the gettin,
but Doug was mesmerized
Your tips and offers were
very much greatly prized
All the things you posted
are seared in our heads
Even though a different name
is signed to every thread
You are our digital goddess
that we speak of
Not just any ole spambot
but our Gabbylove
I remember when you told us
to vote this site #1
Reading your words
was really a lot of fun
You signed one of them as Maurice
and the other Tammy Lee
I knew right then and there
how cradsome this would be

Taint Worth It
In a town where mostly animals roam There’s a sheriff who has found himself a home
And some gold was delivered from the stage His deputy dog and him was to keep it safe
If there’s any kind of signal or noise The sheriff will come pumping lead in those boys
So, the deputy stands guard of all the gold The two crooks think they have this one sold
From the moment they walk in Hazards, pain and laugher do begin
They tried so hard to take their fill Instead they were left running up the hill
Every effort they made results in hurt Covering their mouth, up the way they skirt
They bottle it up, and even switch heads They burp and are tickled and tongues stretched
Only after being blown up time after time They turned themselves in for their crime
All that effort to be quiet and sleek He couldn’t hear, battery has been dead a week

McNamara Trifecta
I know of this man with a strange middle name
Appointed, he took a stand
He served as secretary of defense
Under Kennedy’s and Johnson’s cabinets
In 61 he established the Strike Command
He took a strong anti-communist stand
How many people have you seen
With a name that is really quite keen?
It’s such a neat name to pronounce
I say it all the time around the house
McNamara, McNamara, McNamara
Then there’s this basketball guy
I think he played for Syracuse, you see
I don’t know much about his life
Other than his name was Gerry with a G
I know of this other man I think I know his real name
Broadcasting, he’s in demand
He is serving as a disc jockey
On the radio his voice is carried
A virtual mayor, a title to savor
A subject with whom to curry favor

A Penny For Your Thoughts
The costs of some metals are rising high
Pure copper pennies are hard to come by
The cost to mint them is more than they’re worth
New coin collectors are now coming to birth
Flip a penny listen for
That distinctive ring you have scored
Look at the date before 83
Pure copper is golden in your penny
A one cent coin for thoughts in your mind
Melting some of them would be a crime
According to a mandate from the US Mint
Just as we can’t deface bills the BEP Prints
The official word for penny is a cent
The smallest unit of measure of money spent
Because of their metal they are valued more
People want them now more than before

Puntificating
Does anyone have some corn on the Ty Cobb?
What inspired a neat freak to be a slob
Can I take a ride in Dave’s Mustang?
Does Wolfgang or Jack have black fangs?
Don’t mind me, I need berating
I am just puntificating
As cheesy as all this sounds
The Swiss Parmesan clowns
I know I’m dull but my knife is sharp
I tinker with my Islamic Jew’s Harp
A random act and obscure reference
Not many get it, but that’s my preference
Don’t mind me, I need berating
I am just puntificating
The coffee cup I carry, it’s like my drug
I walk down the street, hoping not to be mugged
Don’t mind me, I need berating
I am just puntificating
The UFOs I’ve seen, I can’t recognize
Carter’s mayonnaise, is supersized
I have a taste for food on a pallet
I hammer out the details with a mallet
Corny cob as I am, please don’t harp
I’m trying my best to be sharp

Carbonic Doomsday
Climactic suicide is Gorgasmic
In Congress he testifies, apocalyptic
The evil right winged machine
No Kyoto Treaty
Tomorrow we won’t see
Environmental catastrophe
He preaches we are near the end
If we don’t conserve and bend
The CFC light bulb in his head
Says his credibility is dead
Blatant hypocrisy
At his home in Tennessee
Massive use of energy
Carbon foot print increase
He blames corporate greed
Carbon offsets go green
He profits from his creed
Junk science and misdeeds

Buy One Free (Get The Other Half Off)
Imagine if you gazed upon
All the signs in the store say free
I did that one time at the Valley Mall
No (Koil) not the one in New Orleans
I know it’s crazy yeah
The notion is quite absurd
But, wouldn’t it be cool
If without strings we saw that word
Buy one Free, get the other half off
Four for nothing, no need to scoff
No money needed, for these giveaways
Signs say free all over the place
Seventy five percent off
Of a fixed pro-bono price
Imagining discounts so wide
If it were true it would be nice

Say Watanayo Say
What I am soon to proclaim
Will make little sense by any name
Show your buckers in Buckanistan
Lets assess this red brand
My boots are knee high in sludge
Sometimes I need a little nudge
Will you flick my nose with a rubber hose?
Will you aim your dart at my heart?
Say Watanayo Say
Say Watanayo Koidelay

Guarded Bearings
On a frantic search for metallic objects all
Of legend and folklore like a no neck cannon ball
Then all at once again three of them pull through
Koil with a hook and chain that Jay just had to use
It’s good to have guarded friends that live on a farm
When they come bearing metal it adds great charm
The guards protect the serrated sectioned blade
The bearings facilitate movement implementing aid
Various pieces found from two different places
Heavy, unique some are round, one with historic traces
Jay provides the guards, Dallas the pick and bearings
A cellanoid and objects hard, no access to gold fillings
I am grateful for metallic objects all
This time I really scored a three for one beckoned call