"A day with out sunshine is like...ya know...night."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?"
"I'm not deaf...I'm ignoring you."
"I'm a road hog.... MOOOOOOOOOO!"
"It's not easy being dumb...but somebody's gotta do it."
I think...therefore I am.....I think.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.
It's your right to be stupid-it doesn't mean you should be.
When blondes have more fun...do they know it?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
If vegetarians only eat vegetables...what do humanitarians eat?
It's the BIG pedal on the right.
If at first you do succeed...try not to look astonished.
I don't know, I don't care...and it doesn't make any difference anyway.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
I'm not deaf....I'm ignoring you.
I can only please one person per day, today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
If you choke a smurf...what color does it turn?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. I'm not as dumb as you look.
The two lanes in a road go in different directions??? I never knew that!!!!
I think I've lost my mind...something that small is easy to misplace.
Wasting time is an important part of life.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns...do the rest have to drown too?
QUASIMOTO: 4 wheeled hard-top moped made in France.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem.
Believe me, I'm really quiet and peaceful till I wake up.
Most people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Ok, so what's the speed of dark?
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Mental back-up in progress....DO NOT DISTURB!
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
I'm not a complete idiot....some parts are missing.
You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me.
One day my ship will come in, but with my luck I'll be at the airport.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Don't follow me....or you'll end up at my place.
Do I look like a freakin people person?
If I throw a stick will you leave?
You look like sh*t...is that the style now?
Suburbia: Where they tear out trees and name streets after them.
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Do you think illiterate people get the idea of alphabet soup?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Why are you following me? I'm lost too.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving isn't for you.
I have gone out to find myself, if I should come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes?
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect..why practice?
Tell your little voices to SHUT UP! I can't hear mine.
Shouldn't they Psychic Friends be the ones to call you?
Some days even even lucky rocketship underwear doesn't help.
I love long walks...especially when taken by the ones who annoy me.
I'm not a brat...I'm the brat.
I wish I were you just so I could be friends with me.
Everything about girls makes me really, really nervous. I flunked my algebra test because algebra has the word "bra" in it!!!!
If you think that something small cannot make a difference - try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is.
If it weren't for smartasses, what would keep a dumbass busy?
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
We are on the earth for the good of others. What others are here for, I don't know.
So your a feminist? Isn't that cute...
Just when I finally figure out where it's at ... somebody moves it.
To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore lookin like an idiot.
Some people say I'm superficial...but that's just on the surface. It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
Have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Drawing on my find command of the english language....I said nothing.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek couseling.
I think therefore I'm dangerous.
Why are you here and what can I do to change that?
To save time, let's just assume that I know everything.
The boat sank....GET OVER IT!
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
How can miss I you if you won't go away?
Square meals make round people!
I cna tpye 300 wdors pre mnutie!
Hey......where's the creme filling?
Kiss me. I'm confused.
Don't let your mind wander. It's too little to be left alone.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
Just stop for a minute, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Power means not having to respond.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
By the time you have the right answers, no one is asking you questions.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean your an artist.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
Are you a freakin' ray of sunshine everyday?
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
On the other hand, you have different fingers
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
I souport publik edekasion
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
No matter where you go, you're there.
Happiness is having a large, close-knit, loving family in another city.
I've been quieter than usual because I've taken up thinking before I speak
Don't just do something, stand there.
Whenever I feel like excercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
Forget artificial intelligence. . .natural stupidity is good enough for me!
If you lick me, I will kill you.
I tried to think but nothing happened!
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line fromsmallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
Somewhere in the world there's somebody better than me... but I haven't met him yet.
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
This bumper sticker exploits illiterates.
Honk if anything falls off.
He who dies with the most toys...still dies.
They kicked me out of the Cub Scouts 'cause I ate a brownie
If you are born again does that mean you have 2 bellybuttons?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
Remember: Traffic lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.
CAUTION - Driver Legally Blond.
If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now.
Ax Me About Ebonics
Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
Bring it to the front page
Send Us More Bumper Stickers For Nick
