THE TRIALS AT ST TIMMY'S 21 ================================================================= THE TRIALS AT ST TIMMY'S -- The Continued Saga of Paul Ess's Rehabilitation ================================================================= So far we have twenty episodes written and posted. We're right in the middle of a teacup-sized mystery, and I want to pay tribute to some of the people who have encouraged my behavior. * * * * * Date: Wed, 3 Jul 1996 09:22:04 -0700 (PDT) From: Paul Frederick Schnellbecher To: Daniel Contreni Subject: Re: It's Back! On Wed, 3 Jul 1996, Daniel Contreni wrote: >Nothing seems to happen here. I've been saving the Timmy's >stuff you've been posting. Don't think I've read the last three >or so, but what I have read is fuckin' great, as always. I'm sooooo pleezed to hear from you again. Thank you so much for making a home for ERR and Timmy's. There's new grooooop up, alt.handicap, which I've been lurking (v.t.). A 23-year old cerebral palsy guythang spoke up wanting to compare notes with other tards, so naturally I emailed him, apprising him of my bitchy attitude lest he get into deep doodoo without meaning so to do :) He's supposed to get at your home page and go for the ERR/Timmy's crap. I can't wait to see how badly this experience will warp him. I warned him he needs a cracked sense of humor and he claims to have one, whereupon I invited him to poke his head into a.t. to see if he can stand the heat. Anybody who styles himself can't be all bad. ^^^^ I get to be the A.T. Tard, right? -- and can he be the A.T. Gimp if things work out? Just planning. I reposted the warning piece I did based on that crazy newsletter. You might want to add it to your ERR/Timmys page since it is germane to the ravings. It's been several days now since Mr Gimp put in his appearance. To my knowledge he hasn't responded. I think he is wise, in view of the present vigilante mood, to stay out of this hot kitchen unless he likes lots of heat... If what I write has any greatness, it is because it is real. If anybody told me years ago this shit could happen, I'd have told them they were nuts. Here I am living it and I don't know why I am not going crazy except that I am too mean to give in. Fuck these assholes and misguided fools. >I can't believe that survey the ERR sent you. Did you actually >send it back with those answers? Sounds like their treatment of >you was awful -- they deserve all the nasty words you can muster >(and perhaps a bit more). I put the nasty words where they may conceivably do some good. They will go immediately to an ERR wastebasket if sent there. On the internet they may stir up some change. I think stony silence is in order toward ERR. The idea that this is a "random" survey is the biggest crock of shit they've ever come up with. I expect they are merely assessing whether anyone might attempt a lawsuit. In my case, if so, they will never see it coming because it will be as silent and deadly as a hamhock and beans fart. >A friend of mine has gone to work in a tardfarm. No word from >her yet on any tasteless happenings. I've been trying to get >this girl to post to a.t. for a good long while, without luck. >She can't find the time to type anything up. Another one >lost... You cannot force anyone to contribute. Stuff produced under duress would suck anyway. The best you can do, and I urge you to make the attempt, is to take notes and write it up yourself. Go visit the tardfarm if possible. Get the grand tour. If you have any nagging doubts that what I say is the truth, this should banish them forever. You may even come up with some rivetingly tasteless stuff. One never knows. * * * * * You can visit Daniel Contreni's home page at: http://zeus.towson.edu/~dcontr1 He has a lot more up than ERR and Timmy's crap. Go look. * * * * * Tue, 02 Jul 1996 13:48:47 alt.tasteless Thread 1 of 2 Lines 25 Re: Chris Reeve and Sylvia Respno 4 of 5 pauless@rahul.net Paul Frederick Schnellbecher at a2i network robnorth@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote: : SUQKRT (suqkrt@aol.com) wrote: : : Doug, : : You are a very naughty but droll gimp. But the people in : : this group do wallow a bit. (I'm a gimpette by the way, thats : : a petite female gimp:-)) : : Sue : You post a message like that to a.t., and you don't elaborate?! : That's a squicking offence in these here parts, missy. : Robert (appalling healthy and ungimped to date) Gee, Bobby, you are about to be offered the grandest opportunity to be tasteless you will ever have. Come to the next Squickfest you hear about and strip. Lie down on the table and let all us gimps and tards inspect, sniff, feel, pull on, and penetrate your appalingly healthy and ungimpy bod. You will get 100 extra tasteless points for being enthusiastic by showing spirit when you are accosted by a homo if you are het or by a member of the opposite sex if you are a homo. ObT - Think how nice all the drool will feel on your tool. Paul Ess A.T.'s Token Tard -- Next response -- Wed, 03 Jul 1996 09:19:56 alt.tasteless Thread 1 of 2 Lines 37 Re: Chris Reeve and Sylvia Respno 5 of 5 robnorth@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca Edmonton FreeNet, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Paul Frederick Schnellbecher (pauless@rahul.net) wrote: : robnorth@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote: : : : Robert (appalling healthy and ungimped to date) : Gee, Bobby, you are about to be offered the grandest : opportunity to be tasteless blah blah blah : ObT - Think how nice all the drool will feel on your tool. Well, I might come to a Squickfest if someone ever tells me when they're happening! Of course, it would help if my ex stopped bleeding me so I could have some spare cash for an airfare or two down to civilisation. I probably wouldn't qualify for the bonus points, thanks to an unpleasant encounter with a closeted classmate in high school, but it has been a long time since I've felt drool on my tool. But, why was that your ObT? And I promise, when my body starts falling apart in tasteless ways, I'll look to your example -- the classic ERR saga -- and try to reach its high standard. ObT: Why did it take so long to find Margaux Hemingway's body, and was NORNL involved? Enquiring minds want to know. Robert * * * * * There you have it. Two prime testimonials to the quality of this crap. There have been others but I didn't save them because I had no idea I might find them key to sucking up to a literary agent some day. Okay, so it's "fucking great" and "[a] high standard". Thank you, guys. Come see me at St Timmy's and I'll buy you a Pepsi if they ever fill that glubdamn machine. * * * * * Here's a little update on the thieving mystery. Queen Bee said she had her clothes laid out last night she intended to wear today. "Two expensive outfits are gone," she told me. "And they got some of my jewelry!" The Queen has some nice costume pieces which are quite a bit finer than Woolworth. She's been hearing things from other people. Of course, she goes around and doesn't sit around hatching eggs the way I do. Indications are that these thefts take place in the night. Now I'm wondering if that flashlight in my eyes bit wasn't a distraction to help the thief. =================================================================