This is the kind of TV show that’d cheer up the crew of the Enola Gay. Two diminutive microbes from the land of the rising Sony sandwiched around an American comic whose jokes they don’t really understand because they don’t really understand a whole lot of English. Gee, I like it when TV execs get conceptual. These two lost transistorettes of ethnic desirability are, of course, Mie and Kei, the My ’n’ Lai of the 80s, collectively known as Pink Lady. They are not to be confused with an early 70s group from Japan who used to come out dressed in Beatle boots, Paul Revere military jackets and mini minis which went just to the outskirts of the pubes. They were called The Pinky Chicks and they were popular, but not as popular as Pink Lady. These two daughters of the divine wind are worth over 70 million bucks, and if you believe their press releases, all they want to do is get married and be normal. Yeah, right!
Pink Lady have been trying to crack the mainland of America for awhile now. They tried with a semi-precious disco LP and a song called “Kiss in the Dark.” The flip side was “Walk Away Renee” and if you play it as 33 it sounds as good as the Left Banke version. The only thing is that the American public seemed satisfied with Abba, phonetically. There are limits. Yet the execs at NBC apparently got a yen for giving these nice, unprepossessing ladies a six week variety show. I suppose it beats another sitcom about the giddy misadventures of a leper trying to set up an apartment in the Bronx with a Doberman and a transvestite dwarf. On second thought...oh, never mind.
So Pink Lady has a TV show. So naturally, after all the Godzilla jokes, all the Kyu Sakamoto jokes, all the cruel Hiroshima jokes (y’know, “Wow, awright the first nuclear variety show, bring on the muties,” hey what can I say, some people are weird), the first Pink Lady show hits the airwaves in a tidal wave of expectation and under-the-breath giggling.
Comic Jeff Altman, who is obviously enjoying the possibilities of being the co-host of a variety show with two silly ladies who can’t speak a lick of English, does a few funny schticks; I really liked the Leonard Moon thing, “Hi, I’m Leonard Moon, I played the meat in Rocky..” and achingly refrains from leaping into the fray with a barrage of Jap jokes. Then Pink Lady meld into the screen and sing a few songs. After this a commercial. (“Yes, radies and getlemen, Pink Rady reewree buy Bonzai peas ’cause they are the peas what let you grow extra-sensory perceptions. Bonzai peas, made and bottled in the slowly growing gardens of Nagasaki.” Montage of mushroom clouds, crazed turtles and wind storms. Like they say, the only good indulgence is self-indulgence. Wuzza-wuzza.)
Pink Lady does for TV what pink ice does for bars and Woody Allen did for international ha-ha hood in What’s Up Tiger Lily? The second show of their six-part visual harmony was as dry and dull as a re-run of Bachelor Father. I mean how can you get excited about Larry Hagman when all he’s doing is stealing Earl Holliman’s act?
Pink Lady--hmm, if this show ever goes 52 weeks I’ll launch a sneak attack on the nearest Radio Shack...Mei and Kie--they are driven. Yes (pause) no.
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