..::Reflections::..

Sunday, October 31st 9:13pm

This Halloween weekend was a blast! Where the hell do I start? Friday night we got our first keg at the apartment. I couldn't believe it, but with ten people we got that done by Saturday. We had a strict purpose of just pre-partying with it and we did. I fell down the stairs twice this weekend, once Friday in my building and once Saturday at KHK on Orchard. It was funny as hell and I wasn't seriously hurt. The right side of my body aches just a little bit.

Friday night I went out with Laszewski and Cassie over to the Park House. I was surprised to see for the first time there really wasn't anyone there. Well what can you do? It was Halloween. We drank some beers there and it was all right. When we came back, we drank some more here and ended up meeting some awesome people on the fourth floor of my building. They also had a keg, so I decided to break the ice and head up there. We decided to get two large pizzas between the two apartments and ordered them from toppers. Somehow no one was around to get the pizza when he came to my place, and we called back to bitch about the pizzas not realizing what had happened. $30 worth of pizza for FREE! That was fricken awesome!

Saturday started off in the afternoon with just extreme tiredness, no hangover. Drinking began again in the afternoon. Amie, Jamie, Ben and Pauly did a power hour and went right back to their drunken state again. I sipped up some beers all afternoon and waited eagerly to go out. I found State street to be rather boring over all, but our costumes went over well. My three roommates and I were all ghostbusters, people seemed to know us. Strasser, Roberto, Kane, Laszewski, Cassie, Ben and I decided to go to Taco Hell to eat for supper. Willie and Melissa met up with me there which was fricken awesome. Willie and I go way back.  After we made it through a mess of pictures, with random people we hit up the parties.

I started over at my friend Emily's house. She made up some apple martinis which were very strong, but tasty.  I chilled at Emily's with her and Laura for a bit before we split up to go to two different parties. I met up with my original group at KHK. Strasser found my drunk ass at the door, and witnessed me fall down the stairs. I could tell he was concerned but thought it was funny at the same time. Two nights in a row, go fricken figure only me. The party was extremely crowded, and there was no room for my inflatable ghostbuster proton back. The straps broke in a couple places and I was forced to carry it around (well willie and melissa took care of it for me too). I spent the rest of the night with Willie and Melissa. They were the only ones that I could keep up with at the party. The rest of my group had left or went elsewhere.

After KHK tapped out, we headed over to Mifflin street looking for another party. We stopped at 449, but it wasn't where we wanted to be. So we decided to call it a night and head back over to my place. So where the hell is everyone supposed to sleep? Well luckily I was smart on my feet and suggested Willie, Melissa, and I should all sleep together. Spooning! How fun! It was very enjoyable, but I must say don't infer anything. IF something like that happened, oh everyone would know believe me!

So this is a little summary of events. Lots of crazy shit happened this weekend, I really enjoyed myself. It was great to see everyone who stopped by and of course it was nice to meet Melissa as well. She referred to me as Brett #2 though because I looked like someone else she knew. It didn't bother me a bit. The most common thing I heard walking with Melissa was "take care of that little mermaid." Haha I love people's assumptions when a guy and girl walk next to each other. So its true on Halloween a Ghostbuster can sleep with Ariel and Ursula.

Thank you everyone for a great time!

Sunday, October 24th 7:25pm

Wow last night fucking spectacular. I have not had that much at a party in a long time.  It was a party for Molly's bday, she's 20 tomorrow. Molly is the coolest, so many people showed up for her. The party was very interesting, even the people I didn't know where around my dorm last year. Every face in there was very familiar. Even Amie and Aaron showed up. They are very very cool individuals. I slammed a few beers there, even held a kid's legs up for a keg stand.

Somehow throughout it all last night, I realized what I want in a girl it totally worth waiting for. I finally was able to let out last night, what I have held inside for quite a while. Yeah, these past three years I may have been a little lonely, but what I'm looking for is just a few miles out of my reach. I'm not going to give up this time, well I never really gave up, I just took a step back.  Now I just have to work on this concept of time.

The suckers loose themselves in the games they learn to play,
Children love to sing but then their voices slowly fade away.
People always take a step away from what is true,
That's why I like you around,

I want you.
Yeah you do... you make me want you.

An open invitation to the dance,
Happenstance set the vibe that we are in,
No apology because my urge is genuine,
And the mystery of your rhythm is so feminine.
Here I am and I want to take a hit,
Of your scent 'cause it bit,
So deep into my soul,
I want you.

Yeah you do you do, you make me want you.
Oh you do you do, you make me want you.
(Send me all your vampires),
And I can't get enough,
And I can't get enough...

Thursday, October 21st 12:39am

It just hasn't hit me yet - what I want to do with my life? Madison is not the answer for me. I feel as if this place is full of more bad memories than good ones. It's hard to find those good people in college. Everyone just feels like a damn acquaintance. Most people only make time for you when they have nothing else to do with their time. I can't think of anyone that has me as their "go to" person. There has only been less than a handful of people I consider "real" around here. I really thank Strasser and Bailey for being my boys, without them I'd have no one here. I just don't fit in.

I am ready to transfer and start all over again. It has been a good experience here, but things are starting to fall apart. I can't see myself with a clear future and that really bothers me. High school was such a joke, and all of a sudden where did it go? I think I felt like an outcast in high school as well, hell I ran for two years from my grade. I was that kid who hung out with all the kids from different high schools. It wasn't until senior year of high school that I started to mingle with my class, and that was only through alcohol. I'm glad I only started drinking my senior year of high school because if I did beforehand I have a feeling my grades wouldn't have been so good. Can I say Madison has paid off for me? Well I don't really know. I'm taking classes that I don't really have any interest in. My major is a joke right now, Business, right like I have the grades to do that.

I'll admit I am pretty lonely around here. My phone doesn't ring like it used to, but in some respects maybe that's a relief, I don't know.

If there is one thing I am sick of around here, it's fucking tight ass slobs whose parents are paying for 100% of their college tuition. Making a stink over groceries, not cleaning the bathroom, and just being whiny about generally everything. I swear if you know what's good for you, you better stop that shit.

So here is this nice long beautiful ramble. If anything, it's just something to soothe my sorrows. Well to sum it all up. I'm ready to move on to a place where I can find respect and honest people. It probably doesn't exist, but I wouldn't mind trying that out. The social hierarchy I'm involved in here is terrible. I have hope and faith in a one or two others here to come around, but they have let me down before. If I could have avoided meeting them last year, I totally would have. That really made me question the qualities I look for in a friend.

Well this is all for now. I'll continue with my struggles. Hey it's my one month anniversary today. I'm done with cigarettes.

Monday, October 18th, 2004, 11:05pm

Tonight was a good time. I went to the library with Emily and her roommate Laura showed up as well. I did get some studying done - I didn't just talk the whole time. I like meeting new people, its fun. I am very outgoing and loose with what I have to say. I will not hide it from others. Tomorrow is my last midterm for the first set of them, good old Anthropology. It's what I spent my hours at the library working on. All I have to say is fuck Cultural Anthropology. I really can't stand the class. The professor is hard to understand and still uses the overhead projector. Man at least use powerpoint, give me some great visuals or something instead of that boring ass Times New Roman font.

Bowling was sure fun this weekend. I could throw it, but I couldn't find the damn one pin very well. I wish I would have kept up with that over the years. I remember how fun league used to be. Matt, Kelly, and Melissa - that was when the team was prime.  Nothing like throwing a couple beers back and hitting the lanes. I'd like to say Clare, I was the more quiet of the bunch. Somewhere through the night I'm sure you enjoyed yourself, maybe just not all of it.

I like this quote, thanks for the read Strasser:

 "It isn't the experience of today that drives men mad. It is the remorse for something that happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. "

Holy crap did I really write two journal entries in a day? Looks like I did. Who will read this probably no one! That's fine. Whatever man.

Monday, October 18th, 2004, 2:06am

I don't understand why people need to get into our people's business.  If someone doesn't care for me, that's their opinion and its fine.  When a person confides in you with their problem, there is no damn need to go and tell me what the person said. There is such thing as acquaintances you know. Friends is a term that is definitely overused. So please knock off your antics and if someone tells you something in confidence, assure them you'll keep it to yourself.

Okay, enough with life's lessons. I'm trying to get my website up and going again. Once it's all complete, you'll see updates like this on the updates page. I'm going to try to keep a journal on here as often as possible because it relaxes me. I also love how people update their journals time to time and if you can't be with someone, what better way to get in their head? I realize the top banner doesn't really fit with the menu, but I'll work on that okay. Perhaps I will get some pictures up soon here.

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