tue1

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:23:40 1997
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
Subject: Re: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine concentration

Something I neeeeeed to know.....

do you have a recipe for RARE COOKIES?

Hmmm....?

now, come on, I know it must be closely guarded secret, passed down through generations...but.... come on............

spread the fish.......

Mr. K (that is K)

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:23:40 1997
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
Subject: Mmmmm... new drink recipes please......

Mmmmmmmmmm......

Pilchard and Lucozade Smoothie, anyone?

Malibu and Tuna Flip-Flop?

Mmmmmmm........

Date: Mon Aug 11 17:36:18 1997
From: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>
Subject: Re: Re[2]: New recipe

> > BUTTER!!! BUTTER!!!!!! thats not vegan is it? >

>     I always say butter, it's my way of subverting the mainstream... if I
>     said "soya based spread, with no whey powder or fish oil in" all the
>     time I'd sound like a right cock...

still havent figured out why on earth they stick whey in that marge - i mean it will never taste like butter as it is Cheap Marge. so why bother?

it's about #12 on the ingredients list also.

>
> > SO! PAULY!! Good weekend huh??!? >
> > How are you feeling today??!!?
>
> Fine until you starting having a go at me again. >

Thought you'd be glad of the attention!

I SEE! just realised why aforementioned recipie had a twist to it. you were using HERBS rather than herbs. Ahhh. I am a spastic.

>     I found your front room really comfortable, I can't understand this
>     whinging pussy Gary going on about how badly he slept.

you must be tough then 'cause that sofa is stuffed with ROCKS - to kip on the floor is a huge admission of not being brave enough to take on the sofa.

>     Best of all, I've got lots of said herb left, and now I have a new way
>     of consuming it, without the stinky tobacco fumes... I think I'll
>     invite my mum and dad round for some Pasta n Sauce. When they get back
>     from Barbados, the borgeois wankers...

Well, why go to the west indies? to sunbathe and get stoned. you can do that here

> Pauly
>
>

Date: Tue Aug 12 09:34:16 1997
From: Gary Hawes <Gary.Hawes@brunel.ac.uk> Subject: Re: [Fwd: >> AMAZING CABBAGE SOUP DIET > AND > "FREE" HERB INDEX >>]

At 09:02 12/08/97 +0100, Nic Pillinger wrote: >can you believe the junk e-mail you get these days?Return-Path: <#1biz@partners.com>
>Received: from gknot.demon.co.uk by gordian.co.uk (SMI-8.6/SMI-SVR4) > id HAA24062; Tue, 12 Aug 1997 07:53:02 +0100 <SNIP! FOR GOD'S SAKE, SNIP!>

CABBAGE FUCKING SOUP!!!!?????!!!

How long before they'll be telling you that cabbage soup is carginogenic.

Everything has gone insaaaaaaaaaaaaaane.........

Date: Tue Aug 12 09:44:42 1997
From: Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>
Subject: Waaaaaaiiiiilllllllll

Snnnniiiifffff!

Dec ID 241178
Born 20/9/0
Died 10/10/0
... at the hands of a predator.

'R.I.P.'

"Dec"
Herbivore ID 241178

"Dec" was created by onlntmp1@uk%2Cuu.net , 19.53 days ago. It has died, sadly all that remains is its carcass. It has killed 0 creatures and had cyber-sex 0 times. It has eaten 8.82 kgs of food , and has expended 213.16 kilocalories of = energy,
and has moved a total of 96.37 kilometers.

I knew he was weak, but I never thought he'd have such a violent death = ;-(. He was so young, had so much to look forward to. Never again will he get to sing such wonderous ballards as "crazy cats" = with his brother Ant. Mind you Ant is doing is doing very well and has = just made his first killing............ hang on.......
you don't think?
OOOOOHHHHH Nooooooo FRATRICIDE
quick call Inspector Morse.
LooooooWIS?!

Jo McGowan - Marketing Assistant

UUNET Consulting
332 Science Park =20
Cambridge
CB4 4BZ

T:01223 250949 - F:01223 250132 - E:onlntmp1@uk.uu.net

Date: Tue Aug 12 09:54:32 1997
From: Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>
Subject: RE: [Fwd: >> AMAZING CABBAGE SOUP DIET > AND > "FREE" HERB INDEX >>]

<<<Message: >> AMAZING CABBAGE S...>>
<can you believe the junk e-mail you get these days?

Our entire department got one entitled, "Hello fellow Jet ski enthusiasts".

WE had to change our consulting group email address as we were getting so much spammmmmmm.

MMMMMM, lovely marmite on hot buttered toast and a cup of coffee infront = of my computer this morning for breakfast.=20 I have a bizarre lunch of "things left in the fridge", a pot of cottage = cheese. A tub of garlic and onion dip and a pcket of cheesey = breadsticks. And a mini can of tango.

larverly

Date: Tue Aug 12 11:25:53 1997
From: Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>
Subject: something as lovely as a TREEEEEE

nnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg

I hate computing and computers, I think we should all go back to=20 counting on our fingers and anything more than that is too many.

Poor Nigel has just had to spend 10 minutes explaining the basic = intricacies of root trees and how they affect file names and relative = url structures, with me winging and going "I just don't get it". At = least he wasn't reduced to saying "it just is", dot dot bloody slash dot = bloody dot slash index. dot.

I hate it alllllllllllllll

Jo McGowan - Marketing Assistant ------ see I'm not supposed to be doing all this technical bollocks. I write = words, not fucking file names.

Date: Tue Aug 12 11:57:11 1997
From: Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk
Subject: Re[2]: Ta Ta

--IMA.Boundary.543383178
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-Description: cc:Mail note part

Hey, anyone know anyone in london who's an internet whizz / can write top scripts to do anything? Apart from me I mean...

I've got some work in at work that I just don't have the time to do, and I'm allowed to contract it out. Someone as expensive as possible would make me look really good, but it's someone who's got to be able to write stuff from scratch...

Pauly

Hey Gary H, you're not really a cunt, I just dissed you on uk-indie to make a "humourous" point. I love you man.

--IMA.Boundary.543383178
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; name="RFC822 message headers" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-Description: cc:Mail note part
Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="RFC822 message headers"

Received: from gknot.demon.co.uk (158.152.10.71) by ccgate.ipc.co.uk with SMTP (IMA Internet Exchange 2.01 Enterprise) id 3EF3B110; Mon, 11 Aug 97 17:17:21 +0100
Received: from gordian.co.uk (hera.gordian.co.uk [192.168.202.6]) by gknot.demon.co.uk (8.7.6/8.7.3) with SMTP id RAA25933; Mon, 11 Aug 1997 17:11:42 +0100
Received: from orion by gordian.co.uk (SMI-8.6/SMI-SVR4) id RAA20408; Mon, 11 Aug 1997 17:11:38 +0100 Received: from gordian.co.uk by orion (SMI-8.6) id RAA22332; Mon, 11 Aug 1997 17:11:38 +0100
Sender: nic@gordian.co.uk
Message-ID: <33EF39B9.3E5E37AF@gordian.co.uk> Date: Mon, 11 Aug 1997 17:11:37 +0100
From: Nic Pillinger <nic.p@gordian.co.uk> From: Nic Pillinger <nic.p@gordian.co.uk> Organization: Gordian Knot Ltd
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.02b7 [en] (X11; I; SunOS 5.5.1 sun4u) MIME-Version: 1.0
To: Gary Hawes <Gary.Hawes@brunel.ac.uk> CC: MB Moore <M.B.Moore-96@student.lut.ac.uk>, Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk,

        Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>, Nigel Turner <nigelt@uk.uu.net>,
        "'Jo McGowan'" <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>,
        "pkn@cs.nott.ac.uk" <pkn@cs.nott.ac.uk>,
        "sean.price@service.britgas.co.uk" <sean.price@service.britgas.co.uk>,
        "lunch@kosso.com" <lunch@kosso.com>,
        "'Adrian_Harris@Sonymusic.Com'" <Adrian_Harris@sonymusic.com>,
        "'Gary Gilchrist +44 116 2561561 ext 4295'" <gary.gilchrist@gecm.com>

Subject: Re: Ta Ta
Subject: Re: Ta Ta
References: <3EF315D0.1736@ipc.co.uk>
<3.0.1.16.19970811170230.663721bc@ash.brunel.ac.uk> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

--IMA.Boundary.543383178--

Date: Tue Aug 12 13:06:33 1997
From: Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk
Subject: Re[4]: Ta Ta

I just didn't want anyone from Leicester, that's all.

     No, really this is super urgent work, I need to meet this person,
     they've got to have meetings with other people here, and it's all got
     to happen in about 3 days...

     I might well end up doing it myself, as overtime... it's not difficult
     work, but I need to be sure it's done right... Plus I want the CASH...

______________________________ Reply Separator _________________________________ Subject: Re: Re[2]: Ta Ta
Subject: Re: Re[2]: Ta Ta
Author: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk> at internet Date: 12/08/97 12:06

>Hey, anyone know anyone in london who's an internet whizz / can write top >scripts to do anything? Apart from me I mean...

er? why the buggering ftang do they have to be in london???????????

Surely they R! missing the entire point of the WWW?

Date: Tue Aug 12 14:28:44 1997
From: Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>
Subject: RE: Neil is on the web!

>No animated GIFS to totally bloody slow it down like a cheesey nob and >no >fucking bloody frames. what i do need is pictures of old lawnmowers. got >any?

http://www.powerpro-products.com/products/index.html

http://www.mow.org/Safety/mower.html

http://www.optima-hyper.com/kid5colr.htm

did you know that the Lawnmowers also appear to be a Vienna Baseball team ?

Date: Tue Aug 12 15:33:01 1997
From: Nigel Turner <nigelt@uk.uu.net>
Subject: New tyre and inner tube

I went into town at lunchtime and bought a new tyre and inner tube for = the back wheel of my bike. It's dead exciting, I'm sure you'll agree. = Jo came with me. Then we popped round to my house, which is only a = couple of doors away from the cycle shop, and I made us both a cup of = tea. I bet we really freaked everyone out, 'cause wee sat on Christ's = Pieces (which I refer to as "my front garden", 'cause it's right outside = my front door) drinking our tea from our mugs. All those = puzzled-looking passers by must have been wondering where we got our = mugs of tea from. "I wonder where they got those mugs of tea", I could = almost hear them say. What did everyone else get up to for lunch today?

Date: Tue Aug 12 15:33:01 1997
From: Nigel Turner <nigelt@uk.uu.net>
Subject: RE: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine concentration

Neil wrote:

>thanks for the lawnmowers Jo, what sort of searching thing are you using? >Mine just sends me stuff that is completely irrelevant, usually about >fishing supplies and office furniture.

Don't you think it would be an excellent idea to have links to fishing supplies and office furniture on your web page?

Date: Tue Aug 12 15:33:00 1997
From: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>
Subject: RE: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine concentration

thanks for the lawnmowers Jo, what sort of searching thing are you using? Mine just sends me stuff that is completely irrelevant, usually about fishing supplies and office furniture.

Lunch was an apricot yoghort and a flapjack and 2343623 gallons of lime cordial which has since evaporated from my gorgeous midge bitten groin.

What d'you think about this kids? ever had this too?

Trouble is when you evaporate this much in the warmth, all the additives e.t.c. stay in ur system such that you go for a pee and it amounts to neat battery acid.

I went cycling once and was very hungover and dehydrated. I was drinking this really red cherryade that was dead artificial. I drank 3 litres and didnt stop to pee. eventually i felt the urge and was surprised at how little there was, although it was dark yellow.. Also I was surprised because it felt like it was going to burn my dick off.

Funny thing urine.

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:02:35 1997
From: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>
Subject: RE: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine concentration

>
>Neil wrote:
>
>>thanks for the lawnmowers Jo, what sort of searching thing are you >using? >Mine just sends me stuff that is completely irrelevant, usually >about >fishing supplies and office furniture. >
>
>Don't you think it would be an excellent idea to have links to fishing >supplies and office furniture on your web page? >

probably - i MUST stop doing this web page NOW. I've just wasted 2 hours getting the jpegs so I can arrange a picture of a nice fluffy badger driving a sweedish submarine.

>
>
>

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:19:40 1997
From: Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>
Subject: RE: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine concentration

>thanks for the lawnmowers Jo, what sort of searching thing are you = >using?

I am using that Altavista type thung, did you colour in the lawnmowers = colouring in page I sent?

>Mine just sends me stuff that is completely irrelevant, usually about >fishing supplies and office furniture.

what, even if you put in Greta Garbo as the search string? Cor! I used = "" on mine. Apart from all the stuff about baseball teams. In Viennese

>Lunch was an apricot yoghort and a flapjack and 2343623 gallons of lime >cordial which has since evaporated from my gorgeous midge bitten groin.

I had cheeeese straws, which were lush.

>What d'you think about this kids? ever had this too?

>Trouble is when you evaporate this much in the warmth, all the = additives
>e.t.c. stay in ur system such that you go for a pee and it amounts to = neat
>battery acid.=20

I see your point. Vimto squash could be fatal if excreted neat.

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:32:22 1997
From: Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>
Subject: RE: Mmmmm... new drink recipes please......

>Mmmmmmmmmm......

>Pilchard and Lucozade Smoothie, anyone?

>Malibu and Tuna Flip-Flop?

>Mmmmmmm........

Guppy Wallbanger?
a slow comfortable crab?

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:28:13 1997
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
Subject: mmmmm...drink recipes........ sorry about the time travelling...

Mmmmmmmmmm......

Pilchard and Lucozade Smoothie, anyone?

Malibu and Tuna Flip-Flop?

Mmmmmmm........

I think the heat must be getting to me.

I seem to have just travelled in time back one year and now am back here in good old 1997.

brrrrrrrrr......

One morning a thought that came to me,
Was that the face of my hand
Was the name of a tree.
i pondered for a moment
On Why this could be,
the had serious doubts
on my sanity....

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:42:58 1997
From: Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk
Subject: Re[2]: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine con

--IMA.Boundary.554004178
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-Description: cc:Mail note part

Don't talk to me about recipes if no-one wants to listen to mine...

     I did my weekly shopping yesterday, and it was much cheaper than
     usual... you know how people say you shouldn't go shopping on an empty
     stomach, well I went to the late night tesco metro straight from the
     Wine Bar, and my shopping only came to about a fiver. It seems that
     all I bought was a bottle of ribena and 6 more packets of
     Pasta'n'Sauce though.

     I am playing out at the Garage tonight now, Koss, can you put me and
     Nic on the gussetlist please? Susie can't come out she's got an eye
     infection... so she says, I reckon she's got a bird coming round...

     (ha, yes WINE BAR! It's part of my new diet, 2 bottles of wine instead
     of 10 pints of beer, I am much slimmer these days...)

--IMA.Boundary.554004178
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; name="RFC822 message headers" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-Description: cc:Mail note part
Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="RFC822 message headers"

Received: from ns2.cableinet.co.uk (194.117.157.4) by ccgate.ipc.co.uk with SMTP (IMA Internet Exchange 2.01 Enterprise) id 3F07FCC0; Tue, 12 Aug 97 16:22:52 +0100
Received: from alembke.demon.co.uk (p5.ascend6.is2.bb.u-net.net [194.119.134.69]) by ns2.cableinet.co.uk (950413.SGI.8.6.12/950213.SGI.AUTOCF) via ESMTP id QAA26050; Tue, 12 Aug 1997 16:17:26 +0100 Message-ID: <320F4C12.F33D8BFB@kosso.com> Date: Mon, 12 Aug 1996 16:21:54 +0100
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
Organization: Kosso.com[munications]
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.01 [en] (Win95; I)
MIME-Version: 1.0
To: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>
CC: Nigel Turner <nigelt@uk.uu.net>, Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>,

        "Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk" <Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk>,
        Gary Hawes <Gary.Hawes@brunel.ac.uk>,
        Nic Pillinger <nic.p@gordian.co.uk>,
        "pkn@cs.nott.ac.uk" <pkn@cs.nott.ac.uk>,
        "sean.price@service.britgas.co.uk" <sean.price@service.britgas.co.uk>,
        "lunch@kosso.com" <lunch@kosso.com>,
        "'Adrian_Harris@Sonymusic.Com'" <Adrian_Harris@sonymusic.com>,
        "'Gary Gilchrist +44 116 2561561 ext 4295'" <gary.gilchrist@gecm.com>

Subject: Re: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine concentration Subject: Re: Neil is on the web!, and effects of heat on urine concentration X-Priority: 3 (Normal)
References: <Pine.SOL.3.96.970812154950.1228E-100000@sun-cc201> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

--IMA.Boundary.554004178--

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:39:00 1997
From: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>
Subject: Wash Your Fan!

>Mmmmmmmmmm......
>
>
>Pilchard and Lucozade Smoothie, anyone? >
>Malibu and Tuna Flip-Flop?
>

How about Kipper Soda

or a Hot Coddie

How about a Prawn Coctail?

>Mmmmmmm........
>
>I think the heat must be getting to me. >

I just washed the fluff off the guard on my fan - it makes a terrific difference to it's blowing power. The terrific BLAST is so strong that it has ripped the side off the building.

It has so much cooling power that in Loughborough it is now SNOWING

Date: Tue Aug 12 16:55:39 1997
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
Subject: Sob.....sniff....(and about tonight)

I've already put you and Nic and Suzie and Emma on the door for a quid.

So, if those two girlies aren't going then I'm sure you could drive a couple of stays
into the gig with a cow-prod.

See you there...... I'll be in there from about 6:30.........

or in the pub by the tube.

And, to top it all off...........

And he was just beginning to get the hang of 'it'

Was it because I just didn't 'press his buttons' enough...

sob...

--------------- TS II Creature Communication ---------------

Smeg-Monger (ID 223185) has sadly died of starvation.

-------------------------- END -----------------------------

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: Tue Aug 12 17:17:44 1997
From: Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk
Subject: Re: Sob.....sniff....(and about tonight)

--IMA.Boundary.182204178
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-Description: cc:Mail note part

And, to top it all off...........

And he was just beginning to get the hang of 'it'

Was it because I just didn't 'press his buttons' enough...

Is this about me? Has someone been talking?

Lovely about tonight mate, seeya in the pub prob'ly.

--IMA.Boundary.182204178
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; name="RFC822 message headers" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-Description: cc:Mail note part
Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="RFC822 message headers"

Received: from ns2.cableinet.co.uk (194.117.157.4) by ccgate.ipc.co.uk with SMTP (IMA Internet Exchange 2.01 Enterprise) id 3F085F20; Tue, 12 Aug 97 16:49:06 +0100
Received: from alembke.demon.co.uk (p5.ascend6.is2.bb.u-net.net [194.119.134.69]) by ns2.cableinet.co.uk (950413.SGI.8.6.12/950213.SGI.AUTOCF) via ESMTP id QAA00787; Tue, 12 Aug 1997 16:43:37 +0100 Message-ID: <33F085B4.CD051B00@kosso.com> Date: Tue, 12 Aug 1997 16:48:04 +0100
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
From: Kosso <kosso@kosso.com>
Organization: Kosso.com[munications]
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.01 [en] (Win95; I)
MIME-Version: 1.0
To: Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk
CC: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>, Nigel Turner <nigelt@uk.uu.net>,

        Jo McGowan <onlntmp1@uk.uu.net>, Gary Hawes <Gary.Hawes@brunel.ac.uk>,
        Nic Pillinger <nic.p@gordian.co.uk>,
        "pkn@cs.nott.ac.uk" <pkn@cs.nott.ac.uk>,
        "sean.price@service.britgas.co.uk" <sean.price@service.britgas.co.uk>,
        "lunch@kosso.com" <lunch@kosso.com>,
        "'Adrian_Harris@Sonymusic.Com'" <Adrian_Harris@sonymusic.com>,
        "'Gary Gilchrist +44 116 2561561 ext 4295'" <gary.gilchrist@gecm.com>

Subject: Sob.....sniff....(and about tonight) Subject: Sob.....sniff....(and about tonight) X-Priority: 3 (Normal)
References: <3F084070.1736@ipc.co.uk>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

--IMA.Boundary.182204178--

Date: Tue Aug 12 17:14:28 1997
From: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>
Subject: Re: Sob.....sniff....(and about tonight)

>
>or in the pub by the tube.
>

you have one too? I was showing pauly my collection of old iron tubes on saturday. Its quicker by tube.

>
>And, to top it all off...........
>
>And he was just beginning to get the hang of 'it' >
>Was it because I just didn't 'press his buttons' enough... >
>
>sob...
>
>
>--------------- TS II Creature Communication --------------- >
>Smeg-Monger (ID 223185) has sadly died of starvation. >
>-------------------------- END ----------------------------- >
>
>Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! >
>

I've had not a dickie bird out of technospheres all day. I reckon when you cant access the web site it's because theyre using thier port thingy to send stern emails of recent death across the www. It is the time to feel fear.

Date: Tue Aug 12 17:22:15 1997
From: Neil <N.Brown@lboro.ac.uk>
Subject: Re: Sob.....sniff....(and about tonight)

what is all this 'attatched message, press a million buttons to view' shit?

is this some new NME plan to do our heads in by making the emails about as easy to read as the brains of pheasants?

On Tue, 12 Aug 1997 Paul_Clarke@ipc.co.uk wrote:

>And, to top it all off...........
>
>And he was just beginning to get the hang of 'it' >
>Was it because I just didn't 'press his buttons' enough... >
> Is this about me? Has someone been talking? >
> Lovely about tonight mate, seeya in the pub prob'ly. >

still going through about 1986234876 screens - with you all in a mo