own a traction engine, or at least be considering owning one.
nail dead cats heads to other peoples faces
nail stinking fish heads to your own face and chest
piss into bottles and leave them on the side in kitchens at parties
set fire to children, or at least fantasise about it
own records by Coil, Jefferson Handkerchief, R Stevie Moore, and Ewan
MacColl
know how to make your own onion bhajis
live in the SEA
give people pavlovas at birthdays every bloody year
drive a grey volvo filled with Marks solo tapes
listen to radio 4, or hit yourself in the face with a piece of celery
smell of JAM
eat PICKLED EGGS
can speak the languadge of BADGERS
are a friend of any of the COOL people on this list
You are UNCOOL if you
use the word BAKE as a noun
try to get instant taste by buying things from Ikea
posess a pair of speaker stands and think they actually are of any use whatsoever
go to the pub with white trousers on and an admirals jacket
sound a bit like lurch off the adams family
come from lancashire and swear all the time and move in downstairs
fail a degree in something really easy like 'history of watching telly'
cant drive or cant cook or cant sew
cant design artificial brains
have a girlfriend (euurgh - all that unhygenic messy sex)
want a girlfriend (get a life, join a band instead)
kill defenceless nuns and rape thier corpses
like oasis
are fussy about what vegetables you eat
think any car thief is seriously bothered by a krooklock
line your pants with slices of corned beef
think bruce willis' films are worth watching
DIDNT BOTHER TO VOTE