lightweight shandy drinkers

> My dream about ade having Big Hair is coming back to me, and now I am
> scared.

Consider yourself lucky. For some of us dreaming about having little hair has become an everyday waking reality.

Bollocks. I did dream about it a few times when my hair was falling out. It was a bit depressing when it cane out in handfuls. Nature is cruel. I had a four year window of not having spots and actually having hair.

Now I am proud to be bald. After all, if you have long hair then you look like a girl and you are a big sissy probabably cant even weld or make reinforced concrete.

Take a look at anyone that doesnt piss about with thier hair. People that go to Big Rons on churchgate (you know the type of place). You wander in, mutter 'short'. They make it shorter. You pay. End of story. Don't like it? Tough. You wanted short, you've got short. That's 4 quid. Great people go in there. People who have ideas. People who can weld. People who write great novels. There is NO twatting about in a place like Rons.

People with too much hair are crap and usually urinate on thier food before they eat it. They rarely know how to wire a plug. Hair length is the inverse of your functionality. Just look at a few people you know. Notice how the ones with too much hair are crap at everything? The worst hair culprits are fat middle class white student boys that try to grow dreads. The second worst are people that have sideburns and/or beards.

UGH! How unhygenic and non-functional! They must be CORRECTED.

People thet dye thier hair are totally useless at absolutely everything. Especially people that do it every couple of weeks. They are usually the sort of people that are not actually any good at anything, so they change thier appearance from time to time because they are bored with looking at the same nonce in the mirror. It is a way of hiding from thier own uselessness and lack of ability.

This is by no means a rant at anyone I know in particular, nor is it a rant at any ex girlfriend with dyed hair. OK hand on heart I dyed mine twice in 1990. As the dye faded it looked more purple than black. I was daft. I've never done it since. I learnt to weld. But some people never learn and still do it!

Take a look around you. Look at anyone you know with frequently dyed hair. What can they actually do? Exactly. Bugger all. Are tthey any fun? No. Do they fuck around all the time and never actually contribute to anything that is fun and useful? Yes.

Shut up Neil or i will FITE you

> It's true! Ask him to take his glasses off and you'll see he combs his
> hair over his HUGE FOREHEAD. When he combs it back, he looks as if he is
> accelerating.

Nur! Moi Names NEIl! Nurrrr!

HA! A classic example of The Reason Slapheads are So i.e. cos they have TINY BRA NES. Everybody knows that the thing that makes hair push itself out from inside yr head is that yr BRANE THROBS and makes it squeeze out thru the wholes, just like Plasticine Hair Barbie. Thus people with TINY TINY BRANES have nothing to shove the hair out. When they get OLD and their head is Average Size the TINY BRANE slips down to just behind their NOSE, leaving no BASIS for the hair to cling to, thus it falls back in. IT'S TRUE. People with MIGHTY BRANES, however, have such huge BRANES that they push the hair EVEN FURTHER UP, making DIMWIT BALDIES, infuriated with RAGE that they cannot understand cos they are a) jealous, and b) dim, try to understand as recedingness, whereas in summation and conclusion it is just a SYMPTOM of having a MIGHTY BRANE.

I have explained this to Neil on many occasions, but by the time i got to the end of the sentence he had forgotten the start and gone back to THE LAB where they do EXPERIMENTS on him to try and get him to work properly, because he is a flid.

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