Asphalt Story

     Now let me skip ahead to the night of the prom. I dreaded that night so much that I ate one whole pizza before the prom. Then Bob arrived at my door. When he opened and saw me his mouth dropped to the ground, and all he could say was "Wow!". Jesus, I felt so sick. I looked at my dad and thought this guy must never have seen a girl before. Yuck! It was awful. I felt so gross. Anyways he comes in and hands me my neon pink corsage, which of course clashed completely with my purple dress. Not to mention the fact that it looked nearly twevle years old. It was so incredibly ugly. So I swallow my pride and get in his car.

     Now it was his intention to arrive "fashionably late", unfortunately his timing was poor, and we arrived fifteen minutes early. I had to sit in his stupid car with him and make fucking small talk for fifteen minutes!!!!!! AGGGGHHHHHH!

     Finally we went into the place it was being held at. And as he is helping me get out of the car (I tried to get out on my own, but he insisted on helping me!)he decides to put his arm around me. Real smooth. So I speed up my pace, and practically run to the first people I see (who also happened to be there early). I introduced myself and Bob. They probably thought I was crazy because I wouldn't let them leave. I kept asking them questions like "How did you met? What school do you go to? What are you doing afterwards?..." Finally I got them to come in with us. Only Bob forgot the tickets so he had to go back and get them. I sat and talked to the teachers who were collecting tickets. GRrrrrr.

     Next we ran into the photography man who suggested that we take our pictures immediately so we wouldn't have to wait later in the evening. I thought that was a great idea, because no one else was in the god damn place, and I was getting fed up with small talk! But Bob didn't understand how we could get our pictures taken early because he had schelduled to get pictures at 8:00, not 7:00. I left the cameraman to explain it to Bob, while I went to the bathroom.

     After we got our pictures taken more people had arrived. I told Bob to introduce me to his friends. He went and taped some guy on the shoulder and said "Hi". I waited for the guy to turn around, but he didn't. It took two or three more taps before this "friend" of Bob's would turn around. Finally when he did, he said "Oh, hi Bob." Then he turned his back to us once more. Out of Bob's entire senior class he had not ONE friend. He knew NO ONE. NOT ONE SINGLE FRIEND. There must have been over 500 people there and he didn't know any of them. AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! I thought I was going to die.

     Finally it came time to eat. Only I wasn't hungry because I had eaten a whole fuckin' pizza before I left my house. So I got beans. String beans. In the buffet line he tried to put his arm around me again, but I jumped ahead and drove into a conversion with one of the buffet scoopers. GEEZ! Anyways I take the beans back to the table and sit there with Bob and some people we don't know. Again I tried to stimulate conversation with the people around me. I really didn't want to dance, so my plan was to make dinner last as long as possible. I ate those beans one at a time. It must have taken at least thirty minutes to eat ten beans.

     After I ran out of beans I went to the bathroom again. When I came back the prom people had announced that they were serving sundaes. I suggested that Bob get one. I didn't want one though because I was stuffed. Again he tried to put his around me, and again I ran ahead. (You'd think the guy would get the point by this time!)When we get back to the table Bob actually tries to make some comunication. This girl walks by, and she is wearing the same exact dress as I am, which is strange because the dress is really rare. And Bob says to me, "You know that girl wearing your dress, she is one of the girls I asked to come to prom with me before I asked you. But don't worry you are prettier than her anyways." Barf. Gross. Yuck. Sick. EEEEWWWWWWWW! Like I really wanted to hear THAT! And to top it off he continues, "You know th e problem with big crowds is you don't know when to make the first move." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! God no. (NOTE TO ALL GUYS: WHATEVER YOU SAY TO A GIRL, DON'T SAY THAT!)