I am cursed.  Look, see, you don't believe me, do you?  But when it comes to time-keeping all rules of logic and preparation go right out of the window.  People must get the impression that I am exceptionally lazy, uncaring and downright rude when I am yet again late for work, that exclusive interview or just lunch with friends.

But it's not like that at all.  I really, really do make an effort, but events just conspire against me.  I am just not meant to be on time.  I don't know whose Indian Burial Ground I have trodden upon, but please could they forgive me, as the stress is killing me.  I should have had an inkling of this when I first arrived in London for an interview.  Four hours late.

You see, the train I was on just didn't want me to get there.  I telephoned ahead before boarding, saying "My train's been delayed.  I might be a few minutes late."  Then, on finally leaving Brighton station, a whole catalogue of disasters hit my beleaguered commuter transport.  Let's see - first there was the trackside fire, then the signal failure, then the queue of trains outside Gatwick Airport.  Finally, as we were just a few miles outside Victoria, a lorry smashed into a bridge delaying the disastrous journey by yet another hour.

Trouble is, it's been like that ever since. I used to think it was because I lived in New Cross, with its unreliable train service, and then moved to Stratford, where I had to face the problems of key-meter electricity (power cuts turning off my alarm clock) and numerous platform changes fraught with dangers ("We apologise, but the Northern Line is not working today").

So, I moved to Streatham, just two miles from my place of work.  Still, the curse continues.  Since moving in, the following have occurred:

*     I accidentally set my alarm to wake me up at 8.00 PM!  Twice!
*     My brakes fell off my bike.  As I was dashing along at top speed.
*     I got hit by a car.  Oh, alright - I was cycling along and a parked car door opened, sending me  flying.
*     I caught the bus when my bike brakes were being repaired.  For no apparent reason, none of  the buses were taking their usual route, and I ended up having to walk
      most of the way.
*     I had a row with a neighbour about leaving my bike in the hallway.
*     I looked out of the window a few minutes before leaving, and thought    "Mmmm, the traffic  looks a bit dodgy today.  I think I'll catch the earlier bus."  I caught the
        earlier bus, and was still ten minutes late.
 

Still, it works both ways - I'm often late leaving the office, I'm always late for interviews, but then so are the bands.  I'm late with birthday cards and the last issue of the fanzine was NINE MONTHS late.

Well, that's it for now.  Just remains to set the alarm for seven tomorrow.

That's AM, this time.  Oh well, gotta go - I'm going to be late....