[Rachel Hamilton sent me the following email.  I laughed.]
 

I've started to build a tunnel under my desk.  Because there is a free desk beside me I have been able to remove first the carpet tiles, then the floor boarding.  All the debris is being hidden in the drawers and under the desk beside me.  I have discovered that there is a space between our floor and the concete flooring below.  Using a heavy duty stamp I shall be able to hammer right through the concete and take the second floor under seige.  For this I shall need the protection of some weapons.  I have heard that photocopiers emit ozone, so I shall arrange that my supporters are all photocopying downstairs to make the 2nd floor occupants a little below par.  I shall charge in from the ceiling, hanging from my desk lamp (why else would I have ordered a desk lamp?) and brandishing an electric fan with the cover removed.  Making my way towards the west side of the building I shall keep my pursuers at bay by alternating the fan speed between numbers 2 and 3.  The noise of accelerating blades is a fine deterrent.  When I reach the west window side of the building I shall remove all the telephones from the bank of desks, threatening the occupants with my fan, and ask them to tie all the phones together from the handpiece to the lead.  As they do this I shall request that everyone hide under their desks, and smash the coat stand right through the window, quickly followed by a sturdy office chair.  After making sure that the final telephone in the link is still plugged in I shall grab the handset at the other end of the chain and sail out the window bungee style to a gentle landing in the KwikFit car park cushioned by the spring effect of the curly telephone wiring.  Having located the office chair I shall sit on it and roll down towards the Streatham High Road.  As a fast moving car passes I shall grab the bumper and sail down the road to freedom.