It's been a lo-o-o-ooong time since I last updated my homepage...  (Senior year of college, 2000, I believe...)  But now I'm BACK!  Why?  Revising and updating a homepage gives a person the feeling that they're accomplishing so much (when in actuality, all they are doing is exposing their emotional twigs and berries to the world).  So here's a collection of photos that probably have far more relevance to me than to you.  But never fear, there are still three things that sets this page apart from all others:
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L-date - the world's largest singles network for Lepers'; 
2) Links to websites that  show you how to break-dance like a champ - sure, everyone knows how to "moonwalk," but now
YOU can impress your friends with your knowledge of  "The Guybrush"
3)  The fact that by going here, Ed McMahon will send you a check for ten thousand dollars.  No, really.  Seriously.  Wait by your mailbox, the checks in the mail.  Sucker...  Wait, did I write that, or just think that?  Crap, I really wish this keyboard had a 'backspace' key.  Sigh...
Neal "Captain Funkenstein" Simon
Playing guitar, being a sleazy family law attorney (if you can call that a hobby), smoochin my  wife, obsessively fantasizing about winning the lottery, wondering if I spelled "fantasizing" correctly but being too lazy to look it up, gaining weight, filming low budget movies that make it big (mine don't do as well as "The Blair Witch Project", but what do you expect from a movie with the title "Blowin' Stuff Up!"?)
Click above to see my paintings!
To see my drawings, click on the kid
Click on the two wild and crazy guys to see more kookiness from Apartment 201!
Click on the picture of Haifa to see pictures from my undergraduate Junior Year trip to Israel.
Click on the kids to see my camp pics!
click here to see my other friends!
I worked at the Anita M. Stone JCC for three years.  Every year I said, "This is the last year I'll work here" because I was sure I needed more money.....   But the experience was just too much fun to pass up, and I kept coming  back for more.  The kids were so much fun to be around, and I loved my co-counselors...  I will miss it a lot. Click here to see the CAMP 100 list.
A random Assortment of pictures of friends I love...  Some of them I haven't seen in a long time, but I still miss them, nonetheless.  Here's hoping everyone's successful in their ventures (and that their ventures don't involve midgets with staple guns, like that one time I... errr... nevermind.)
Click on the Previews picture to see all of the fantastic movies I've been in!
Click on the fat blond kid to see my family.  (This is the picture that I thought was taken in a canon because my father lied to me when I was 3.)
This site is sponsored by the fine people at the "Sir Mix-a-lot Stamp Preservation Society".  If you wish to support Sir Mix-A-Lot's crusade to be immortalized in stamp form, click HERE.
Links Links Links!!!
This is a page devoted to really          cool/weird/funny/enjoyable websites   that I have stumbled to....

Did Kevin Smith Have it Right?
  Podunk: My (soon to be?) animated program
My Brother's Website
Click on the above Pic above for RECENT EVENTS in my life.
I'm all growed up.  I've moved out of my folks' place (I tried to stay, but my mother can kick real hard, so I chose not to fight it...), I pay my taxes. I'm an attorney.  All of which means that I'm totally mature now.  Click above to see just... how... mature...
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