Star Gazing

Part ten.

Mira switched off the cd player then announced, "I'm going for a shower. I feel like crap." I just nodded in response.

I had 'Still The One' by Shania Twain in my head. Mira and I had fished through our - her - old singles and made use of them.

Still The One was a pretty easy song to sing, was it not? Well, it's quite easy... it seemed easy enough. Not for me of course, I couldn't sing for nuts. Nevertheless, I always tried.

I began singing Still The One. It wasn't on key nor did it come close to sounding decent. I got to the low notes and my voice suddenly stopped. When I tried to sing the high notes, I squeaked or my voice went barely audible. The middle notes experienced a hoarse sound.

Nope, I definately could not sing.

I loved singing. It was a dream to be able to sing... good, I mean. When I see people on the television singing their hearts out, I get jealous. Some people were just born with it, I guessed.

I heard Mira also, sing Still The One. She sung it perfectly - it was on key, her voice suited the song and she had dynamics.

Gee, she was terrific at rubbing in the fact I could not sing!

Something struck me, if I could hear that she was singing. If I could hear so clearly, shouldn't it mean that she could hear me?

I slumped down into my chair. "No no no no..." I muttered. I'd never let anyone hear me sing before. I wouldn't mind so much if I had a better voice!

I walked out of our bedroom and into our lounge. There, I could sing here, without Mira to hear me. The shower was two rooms away - she surely couldn't be able to hear a thing from there.

I began to sing again. Correction. I began to *attempt to* sing again. Shania would be crushed if she heard the crud I was turning Still The One into. It really did sound bad.

I grabbed a cushion and began smashing the couch with it, letting out all my steam. Then, breathing in deeply, I tried to sing again. The same song, over and over again... but I was determined to sing it right.

On one particular note, one particular high note, I squeaked and sounded hoarse at the same time. It was off key and just plainly, sounded worse than I'd ever sung before.

Then I heard a voice coming from behind me. I spun around, thinking that Mira had heard the racket I'd made.

Even worse, Zac was standing there.

Both utter humiliation and sadness passed through me but my anger was strongest of all.

"Zac. What the.... are you doing here? You can't just walk in - this is private property!! Gawd!!!" I felt like crying that moment, with too emotions bundled up inside, but of course, I didn't. I don't cry. Not much anyway... well I try not to.

But that was two people in one day. Two unfortunate people had heard the worst of my singing. Yesterday no one had, but today... TWO WHOLE PEOPLE!!

Zac explained, "Taylor is on crutches 'cause he sprained his ankle yesterday. He couldn't get through to Mira ... as it seems you forgot to put the phone back in its cradle. Taylor wanted Mira to come over so he bribed me to get her. I got 5 bucks out of it."

Then I snapped, "Who's to tell you, you can just barge into the house?!"

He shrugged then responded, "I heard sounds so I figured people were home. You wouldn't have left the door unlocked if you were doing anything private."

"Well we didn't think that little boys were going to just walk into our house! I would've locked it, had I known!"

Zac just shrugged once more. I nearly shouted, "Mira's in the shower, she won't be out for a while so you can get home. We'll walk to your place as soon as she's ready." I was determined to get Zac out of our house. He meant trouble.

"You have to be more relaxed while you're singing."

EXCUSE ME?! Zac was making me blow my top! I spat out, "Who gives you the right to teach me?! You weren't even meant to hear. Just because you're a famous singer doesn't mean you can teach!"

"I can try."

"Well DON'T!"

"Open your mouth wider if you want to sing louder." Sounded like plain common sense to me. I hated it when people tried to correct me when I did things. It just seemed like they were saying, 'Aren't you good enough to figure that out? It's like this...'

I stated clearly, "I don't want your advice Zac."

"Don't crouch over and squash your lungs. It makes it harder to sing."

"Gawd! Zac just get out of our house!!"

"Concentrate on what you want to sound like, not what you do sound like."

"Zac, you're really pissing me OFF now!"

"So, what's new?"

I gasped exasperatingly. "Why are you doing this anyway? Don't you have some kitchen chair to sit on, brother to watch over?!" I was mocking him and I was enjoying it. I downcast my eyes, when I realized I was also mocking myself.

Zac answered, "'Cause you're letting out noise pollution."

"I hate to say it but Zac, that was a really lame comeback."

He shrugged and said, "Keep water handy for your throat."

I wanted him to just shut up! I had tried being firm so now I will try to talk him out of it,... sort of nicely. "You're wasting your time, you know. You really think I'm going to sing in front of you?! Ha."

"You've done it before, you can do it again." Full of smartarse answers, he is. Why couldn't he be normal and leave. Why did he have to try to give me advice on how to sing? He should know by now that I hate taking advice, from anybody.

"I can't sing. Deal with it, I have."

"Shut up Carrie! Just try."

"I'm not going to sing in front of you."

"That's going to make teaching you very difficult."

"So don't teach me Zac. I never wanted you to in the first place."

"I need a challenge in my life and you, you need the teaching." Dickhead. Rub it in why don't you! Rub it in with sand and salty water!

"But I don't WANT your teaching." I said it in a immitating way.

Zac replied smugly, "Needs come before wants." Grr.

"I'm not going to let you teach me. So you can run along and play."

"Stop being a stubborn bitch, Carrie!"

"The last thing I want is for you to tell me what to do! So piss off already!"

"I'm not going till you take my advice."

"Bah! Fine, you have to sleep outside though."

"I'm not going to have to because you're going to let me teach you how to sing. Aren't you?!"

"Zac! Have you not been listening to a word I said?!"

"Sing with that much enthusiasm and you're on your way."

"Eugh, shut up already. I hate taking advice with passion. I would hate taking advice from you moreso than anybody else."

Zac responded, "Think it as finally being able to sing. Well,... finally being able to sing, decently."

As if he could do that anyway. He wasn't superman, so why was he so persistant on teaching me to sing? I asked, "Why are you so intent on giving me singing advice? Huh?"

He answered, "I guess you want what you can't have."

"Ohhh, so if I said that I will let you teach me to sing, you wouldn't want to anymore?"

"Perhaps."

"Ok then. Zac would you please, please, please teach me to sing? I would love it more than anything," said I, dripping with sarcasm.

"If you say so Carrie. Your word is your word. So now, where shall we start?"

"Piss off - what good is my word?"

"Carrie, God heard you say that. You mustn't go back on your word. Besides, what harm can letting me teach you do?"

I stated, "I would lose my pride."

Zac started to sing a song by The Offspring. He emphasised on the 'swallowing your pride' part.

I glared at him. "Fine, go on. Hurry up about it. You have to teach me before Mira comes out of the shower."

"Yeah, I'll try."

There was a silence.

Zac asked, "Well? Aren't you going to sing?"

I made a sarcastic remark, "I can't sing, remember?"

"Look Carrie, you're going to have to sing in front of me some time."

I glared at him and gave bored sigh. "Still the one, still the one I run to-"

"Stop!"

I looked at him expectantly and stated sweetly. "If you give up teaching me already, I don't blame you."

"Shut up. I know that you sung bad on purpose. Do it properly and you might gain something out of my lessons."

"Oh yes master Zac. I feel so privileged to have you teach me."

"You should. Now sing!" The way he said it reminded me of Sesame Street. 'Now DANCE.'

I rolled my eyes and sung that Still the One line again. Then I looked at Zac. "Well?"

"That wasn't on tune."

"That's the understatement of the year."

"Stop the smart comments. Okay, do you know if you can sing in key with a piano?"

I answered, "Um, I dunno. We don't have a piano anyway."

Zac piped up, "We do! You can practise at my house."

"NO! No way. No, no, no, no! Uh uh. Nope. Definately not."

Zac grinned and said, "I'm the teacher, you do what I say."

"I don't want to do what you say. So I quit."

"Carrie, you can't quit because you're getting these lessons absolutely free." He said 'absolutely free' in a Demtel kind of voice. How annoying.

"I CAN quit. Just watch me."

I skipped over to the couch and flicked on the tele. Then I put my legs on the sofa armrest and relaxed, over dramatically. Then I sung, "No singing lessons, foooor meeee."

Zac said, "Open your mouth wider when you sing, I told you that already!"

I blinked twice.

I didn't even realize I'd sung that!

Part eleven...

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