Star Gazing

Part twelve.

Staring blankly at a wall, I wasn't really anything. Uhh, I mean, I wasn't mad or happy or sad or confused. I was... nothing. Haven't you ever been nothing?

Then I heard a knock at the door. Monotonously, I answered the door.

Zac's face appeared.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I won't let you miss a singing lesson."

Out of the blue, I felt something nasty come over me, I spat, "Mira's not here. She's at your house! Do you know what this means? We're apart and...." I took a deep breath and shouted the last part, "AND... and, dammit, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"

Zac stuttered, "W-What the heck? Why is it my fault? I didn't do anything... and what's wrong with you and Mira being apart? You can't follow her forever."

I snapped, "I can try!" Stupid boy.

"You don't have to do anything! You just have to live! You're so ... you're so!!!!" I started on Zac with a long train of cuss words. "I hate you Zac!! You're so dumb and gay and I wouldn't care if you died right now! You're a dickhead with major attitude! Screw you, you crap assho-"

I felt a clumsy set of lips kiss mine.

I was stunned for a moment. One, two, three slow steps backwards then I turned and ran out the front door.

I ran for my life but I could still hear footsteps getting closer. Trust him to follow me. I instantly stopped running knowing that there was no hope of me getting away anyway.

I dropped to my knees and the shades fell off my eyes. I couldn't see straight so instead of picking up my shades and putting them back on, I buried the site of my face on my knees. I was now crying hysterically, and I didn't even know why.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. His hand was quivering, Zac was nervous?

I accused him, "What did you do that for? Why did you kiss me?!"

"I don't know," and for once it seemed, Zac had nothing to say.

I fought my hardest to keep down the nausea that was creeping up my throat.

I didn't need to deal with this. I wanted my old life back. Please? I wished I had never even met the Hansons!

I needed something to cling on to at that moment and Zac's hand seemed so comforting on my shoulder. I crawled into his lap so I was practically sitting on him. I was most probably squashing him but I didn't care. It seemed I really needed something stable and he was the only one there.

My old, predictable, stable life. Zac, can't you give it back to me?!

What was going to happen next? With Mira and I? The following business. School! We would have to go to a public school... Mom really couldn't afford our tutors, and I knew it. Zac and I! What was going to happen with us? I was dumbstruck about it so I asked him. I asked him quietly what was going to happen to us...

"I.. ah...," he sighed. "Whatever's going to happen, it's going to be good, it's going to be right. For both of us - you and me. I'll make sure the future will be what you want, and what I want. I really don't know what's going to happen but I do know it will be right."

Oh how I wished it could be true. I wished and wished that everything would be as Zac said, that everything would be all right.

Then, despite our situation - I snorted a giggle. I had started speaking to Mira and stopped following her. Now - just then - I had, I had... in some unusual way...

I had wished upon a star.

---

And that's the end of that.

Now you can go back and read more stories.