1) Condom Run- These are the guys who start to get their groove on and then realize, "Duh! I ran out of skins!" So they leave their partner waiting and run out the door to the supermarket around midnight-two o'clock in the morning. They get to the supermarket and they said to themselves, "I got the munchies too." They finally get up to the register with chips, dip, soda, Reese's pieces and cupcakes. And they always go, "Oh I forgot something." And of cousre they come running back with the condoms.
2) The Neurotic Shopper- Believe it or not, They are shoppers, up and in the aisles at 6am. Maybe they can't sleep? I don't really know. A fellow co-worker and I thought said, "Maybe they work nights." If I just finished work at 5am, I'd want to go home and go to sleep. The hell with the groceries! The only other thing we came up with was that shopping was a sexual experience. Maybe they get a thrill out of getting the freshest carrots and having the bread hot out of the oven. Maybe it gets them off to get the sales before anyone else. It's either that or the house wifes get their chores done early so they can go cheat on their husbands before they get home from work.
3) The Woman Shopper- I hope no one takes offense to this but it's just something I've noticed among women shoppers. These women shoppers come up to the register with two heaping shopping carts full of stuff. And they are proud of the fact that they use every single last coupon in the that week's newspaper. She also recycled every can in the entire block from where they live. She steals all her neighbor's cans when they aren't looking. She has rainchecks that she saved until she thought that it was time to redeem them. She also has her mfr. coupons that she sent away for. To complete it all, she has her bonus card and pays for her entire order by check. She is proud that she in the thrivest spender in the entire world. Did I mention that her and husband are both doctors? But what REALLY gets my blood boiling (that other stuff doesn't bother me, it's just tedious.) is that the lady is harassing by making me stop and asking me, "Isn't that on sale?" I explain to them that the sale price comes off after the sale is completely rung up. But they persist on badgering me. "Isn't that 1/2 off?" "Isn't that 99 cents?" And she sits there talking with all the women on line. Which is fine with me, but the they complain while I bag their two mountains of grocery, that I'm taking too long. If they stopped pestering me with question or helped me bag it would be fine.
4)Odd Balls- These are the weirdest customers of all. They come in around 9-10 pm. Their order consists of the weirdest stuff like stockings, ice cream, two kiwis, a fly swatter,The National Equirer and a plant. I can never seem to figure out what the hell the are going to do with this stuff. Maybe he is having a female escort over who wears the stockings. He probably gets off on rub rubbing the ice cream all over her while she eats the kiwis. He asks her to spank him with the fly swatter. When they are done, they sit down together, lit the plant on fire while they read The National Equirer. But how would I know? It's just a guess...