Lay beside me, tell me what they've done
Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run
The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true
If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you...
~Metallica
~The Unforgiven II
Howie wasn't sure how long they just stood there staring at each other, and he couldn't stand the silence. Her sapphire eyes were staring into his soul...there was nothing he could do to stop the rush of raw emotion that had so suddenly taken hold of him. Staring at her, watching the smoke rise from the clove cigarette she held in her hand...he'd never seen her look so...sensual, so wild and untamed. His eyes followed her every movement, watching her purse her lips as she smoked....he knew she was waiting for him to speak. This was an entirely different woman than the one he'd known nearly all his life. His Jade never smoked, never went out dressed in barely anything in public, never sang with a voice that dripped raw sexuality.
This Jade set fire to his blood. He didn't trust himself to speak, for fear that tears stinging his eyes would spill over. God he'd never wanted a woman like this in his life. He suddenly saw her as he never had before...as someone he wanted to hold, to cherish, to...love. The quick slide of her tongue across her lips pushed him over the edge. He stepped closer to her, pinning her to the car with his body.
Jade stared up at him with surprised eyes. What was he doing now? She didn't have the chance to say anything before his lips pressed against hers in a hot kiss. There were no more words...the time for explanations had long since passed. Now there was only primal instinct. He got lost in that kiss...she tasted of cinnamon and cloves, a sweet taste that he couldn't get enough of. Over and over again, his lips returned to hers...craving the sweet feel of her tongue sliding against his. One of his hands tangled in her hair, hers rested against his chest...her fingers curling into the material of his shirt.
Jade felt hot tears on her face, not caring if she cried anymore. She was too caught up in the rapture of the moment to feel anything but his arms around her, his mouth on hers. This was unlike anything she'd ever known before. Every previous experien with him had never been this demanding, this urgent. Finally, when she could bear no more, she broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his. She kept her eyes shut tightly, afraid that if she opened them...he'd vanish into thin air. Her breath came in rapid gusts of cool air, her heart slammed against the walls of her chest. When she finally lifted her eyes to meet his, she was surprised to find that his cheeks were wet with his own tears.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, lifting his hands to cup her face. She could only stare in wide wonder as he spoke. "I'm so stupid Jay," he continued, lightly brushing his lips over hers. "So stupid...I was so blind to what was right in front of me the whole time. God I think I've always wanted us like this and I was too stupid to see it. Even Susan knew..."
Jade was smiling through her tears, unable to believe what she was hearing. After all this time...now nothing else mattered but being in his arms. And this time he wanted her there. "Come home with me," she whispered against his lips. He only nodded, feeling a sense of euphoria like nothing he'd ever known before. It all felt like a blissful dream, something he never wanted to wake up from. He felt drunk, though he hadn't had a single drink that night. "Stay here," she told him, still smiling. He watched her disappear into the bar again, and the hazy effect she'd had on him still hadn't lifted by the time she returned.
He didn't ask why she'd gone back inside...he really didn't care. His hand rested on her bare thigh as she drove, feeling the heat radiating off of her. Neither one of them spoke a word...Jade was breathless with anticipation...Howie was still lost in a state of awe at the fact that this incredible woman had been right before him and he had completely missed it.
Once back at her house, together they entered her bedroom with no doubts left. This time there were no mistakes, no regrets...just two people coming together in an act of love as old as time. It happened so naturally, as though they'd been born to fit together perfectly. Time after time, Howie lost himself in the smooth contours of her body. She took him to heights of ecstasy that he'd never been to before...he never wanted to let her go. Together, they lay wrapped in the quiet aftermath...with Jade still trembling next to him. He smoothed her hair away from her face and left a soft kiss against her forehead. He didn't think that words were necessary, but after minutes of comfortable silence, she propped herself up on her elbows, leaning over him, and spoke...her voice small and terrified.
"Do you love me?," she whispered, fear quivering in her voice.
"No," he whispered back, tweaking her nose, watching as her face fell.
"Y-you don't?," she stammered, tears filling her huge eyes.
"No I don't," he replied, twirling a strand of her fiery hair between his fingers. "Loving you is far too simple Jaybird...I adore you, I need you, I can't breathe without you, I can't imagine life without you, I-"
"You're an asshole," she muttered, smacking him in the head with a pillow. She rolled away from him, taking with her the warm length of her naked body, and rested on her back...her lower lip curved into a pout.
Smiling, he leaned over her...not giving her time to sulk. "Of course I love you," he whispered, growing serious. When she still looked skeptical, he gently kissed her eyelids, then stared into her crystal eyes. "I love you. No matter what I do, or what I say...or how stupid I am, I want you to remember that. Remember this. Because right now in this moment...I've never loved anyone or felt this strongly about anyone."
Jade chose to ignore his cryptic words, focusing instead on the sincere look in his eyes and the admission of love he'd
offered. It was too good to be true...why now after al this time? Her mind didn't want to acknowledge those thoughts.
All that mattered was the man above her, she refused to let those questions and doubts fill her mind now. Smiling at
him, she wrapped her arms around him, letting him rest his head on her chest. She fell asleep like that...curled around
the heat of his body, finally content after years of agony.
When she awoke the next morning...he was gone. Without a word, without an explanation...nothing...just gone. She
knew he wouldn't be back. Jade crawled back into bed with a sinking feeling of misery. Her pillows still smelled like
him, but she didn't cry. She didn't have anything left for him. This was the last straw...it was over. She was tired of
putting herself in this situation...tired of letting him break her heart repeatedly. No more...she wasn't going to set
herself up for this again. Twenty years of memories returned to haunt her...twenty years that she was letting go. He
loved her...she knew he hadn't lied about that. But he had left her without a word, she didn't care about the reasons.
Once she had thought she could forgive him for anything...but she wouldn't forgive him for this.
Links to other sites on the Web
To Chapter 10
Back to CONTENTS
© 1997 crunkgrl62382@yahoo.com
Get your own Free Home Page