Yes many of these are quotes and no im not attributing them because im lazy.
My Away messages for AIM:

I'm not here but consider this: when someone asks who it is you probably might respond "it's me." the problem with this is taht the verb "to be" takes not only a nominative subject, but a predicate nominative (meaning a nominative case after the verb). Thus the correct statement would be "it is I" and not "it is me." On a side note: if YOU AREN'T, and HE ISN'T, then what am I?

Here's a curious fact to ponder in my absence: To be grammatically correct one should say "fuck yourself" and not "fuck you." The reason for this incorrectness is that the statement "fuck you" dates back to the 1100's. In English however, the reflexive pronouns like "myself" and "yourself" appeared as the simple "me" and "you" up until ca 1600. So, this saying, having been passed on by children and never redacted by adults, has kept its original phrasing. Fuck you and have a lovely day.

"i used to love her, but i had to kill her. i had to put her six feet under. i can still hear her complain."

"Get lost milkman scum."

"the old folks say that you gotta end your date by ten. if your out on a date don't you bring her home late cause it's a sin. you know there's no excuse you know you're gonna lose, you never win, i say it again. and you know it's all because your mama don't dance and your daddy don't rock and roll."

Hello all, i have ventured forth from my computer into the real world, yes i am scared by this, but unless i am eaten by a hideously disfigured laughing gnome somewhere on my quest to find my moss covered theree handled family gredunza, i will return. so please do leave me lots of messages i can respond to with snide remarks.

"The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid."

"Moses used to sniff the lines, Noah used to rock the boat sometimes, Mary used to get undone, Jesus rode a Harley Davidson"

"When I see tomorrow I see you there, When I look around I'll see you everywhere, Your face is etched into my mind When it's all said and done, Well I'm feeling like the milkman's son"

I am not available because I am a little bitch.

"would you like to swing on a star? carry moonbeams home in a jar? and be better off than you are? or would you rather be a mule?"