"God hates fags!" the church lady retorted.

She spotted me with my partner walking down the street, hand in hand.

"You're going to hell," she said pointing. "The both of you! You're going to hell!"

I spat on the ground in front of her and replied, "You're ignorance disgusts me."

I stopped now in front of her, my partner by my side. "You are so blind," I said, trying to control my rage. "You think that someone as ignorant as you is going to heaven? I don't think so! You're going to hell for this act of… of discrimination, and I will be the one laughing my ass off at you burning your 'holy' ass off in hell!"

She looked stunned for a moment then she became enraged. "When god made man he did not want him committing disgusting acts with another man! He wanted man to reproduce more people to populate the world."

I realized I was wasting my time with her, so I walked away.

"Derek," my partner said, "you really have to learn to ignore people like that."

"I know, I know," I said, "but I've had enough of it. Almost everyday we get this-this crap from these so-called people. I'm sorry Nathan, but I just can't take it."

He looked concerned.

"I'm just scared for you, ok?" he said squeezing my hand.

"Ok, ok" I said. I've heard this many times before.

We kept walking down the busy street. It wasn't overly busy but the sidewalk seemed to be getting congested.

"Lets stop and get a coffee." I suggested. I fished through my pocket with my free hand. I had some loonies and toonies to spend.

"Sure," replied Nathan with a smile.

I smiled back. It was Nathan's smile that attracted me to him. It was so calm and beautiful and fun all at the same time. I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. I was working at a CD store. The day was long and it was about an hour until closing time. Then he came in. I didn't notice right away, but when I did I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He wasn't very tall but he was built very well. He had dirty blond hair, which was a mess on top of his head, but it looked good. His face was sculpted very well, his cheekbones were prominent and so was his jawbone. When he looked up, he startled me so I looked down and pretended to be writing something. He started to walk over with a CD in hand.

"Is this CD any good?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," I said. "That’s one of my favorite bands. I thought this one would blow, but its actually one of their best."

He smiled, "Thanks! I think I'll buy it then."

I smiled back and started ringing in the price.

"Do you have any more suggestions? I mean I'm looking for some new music to listen to. All of the stuff I have is boring now," he said with a laugh.

"Yeah," I said, putting his CD in a bag. "I have tons of suggestions like-"

"Maybe," he interrupted, "you'd like to tell me over a cup of coffee. When do you get off of work?"

"In about an hour." I said a bit surprised. He definitely saw me looking at him.

"Alright, I'll be back later then." He said with a smile.

I smiled back and watched him leave. Wow, I thought, this is crazy! I didn't think he was gay at all.

Later, when I got off work that night, we talked at a coffee shop for hours until they had to close. We agreed to see each other again, exchanged phone numbers and left it at that.

That was nearly 3 years ago, and we're still crazy about each other. I love this guy to death.

We found a quiet coffee shop and sat down.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Hmmm… think I want an amaretto steamer," he said.

"Alright." I walked up to the counter and waited to be served. I glanced over at Nathan who had a newspaper and was skimming through it. I often wonder if he hadn't have walked into the store that night, or any night for that matter, would we have found each other? I guess it could have been fate. It’s a funny thing though, that one small thing could change the rest of my life like that. If I changed a part of my life, like my childhood, would I have still turned out the way I am now? Would I be where I am now? Who knows?

Nathan caught me staring at him and gave me a grin. He knew I was thinking about something. He was always the one to cheer me up or make me laugh when I was down or when I was just thinking like I was just now.

I chuckled and he put his head down again, reading some article in the paper. He was an angel, that’s what he was. He was MY angel.

The cashier came over and took my order, and I told her to keep the change. She prepared the drinks for me and in a matter of 4 minutes, and handed them to me.

"You know," I said setting our drinks down. "I want to get out of here. Just get up and leave. This city is too small for people like us."

"Where do you think we should go?" asked Nathan.

"Anywhere, I don't know… a city." I said. "Like Vancouver."

"Are you serious?" Said Nathan.

"Yeah." I said, "I want to get out of here so bad and I want to move to a city where it won't matter. There will be so many people there that it just won't matter…"

"But its expensive," Nathan replied.

"I can find a job." I said, "and I know some people out there already. Sure it will be hard, but we still have each other."

I took his hands in mine just then and looked into his eyes. There was a trace of uneasiness in them. I loved his eyes; they were so blue I could just look into them for hours.

"You don't really want to do this do you?" I asked.

"I do," he said. "But, I don't know."

Then he seemed to have a total change of heart.

"Yeah. Why not?" he said, smiling.

"Great," I said. "We can finally get out of this hell hole."

Nathan smiled again and drank more of his steamer. We sat there for another hour talking about petty things, like how it will be nice to see a new place and basically get a new life. I looked out the window. It was dark out now, about 8:30pm or so. This city was pretty much small enough to be called a town. There not a whole lot to do here except go to raves, bars and work. Oh well, I thought, there will be more new and exciting things to do elsewhere.

I finished my mokachino and looked at Nathan. He was pretty much done so we made our way out.

Nathan and I left the place hand in hand and headed home. The way we took to get home was through a series of alleyways and usually Nathan was ok with that except for tonight.

"I just have this weird feeling." He told me. "Something strange is going to happen."

"Don't be silly, " I said, trying to comfort him. "Nothing ever happened before, so why would it happen now?"

Nathan was silent for a moment.

"Yeah, you're right." He gave in.

We walked along in silence for a while until a large group of hefty guys appeared. I felt Nathan tense up.

"Hey Fags!" The biggest one yelled.

"Fucking Queers!" taunted another.

I'm not sure what happened next but I found myself being pinned on the ground. I didn't know for the life of me where Nathan was but I really didn't want to know. I prayed that he would be all right.

I was being punched and kicked from all over, mostly my ribcage. I was bleeding from my nose; I could feel it running down my face.I tried to fight back, but there were too many people on me.

"Nathan!" I yelled out.

"Oh look! He misses his bum-buddy!" retorted one guy.

They all laughed. More punches and kicks rained down on my badly beaten body from all directions.

"Hey, you have a knife?" I heard one man say.

I could barely hear Nathan but I couldn't tell where he was.

"Nathan!" I tried again and I got booted in the jaw.

"Shut up, fag!" yelled a guy.

I heard sirens, thank god. All the guys ran away and that’s when everything went dark.

When I woke up I was in a hospital bed. I was hooked up to respirators. I could see a cop talking to a doctor. I could barely make out what they were saying.

"...The other one was D.O.A," He told the doctor.

My mind reeled. Nathan was gone? Nathan was dead and I am still alive. Why? I shouldn't be, Nathan WAS my life. Without him there is no me. If only i had listened to him. Neither of us would be in this possition. Nathan would be alive ans we'd be together. It was all my fault.

I figured there was no point in living without him because he was my soul mate. I looked at my arm, then looked over to see the plug to my respirator. If I can move my arm I can just reach the plug.

I waited until the cop and the doctor left and tried to move my fingers. I could move those pretty good. I was surprised to find I could move my arm as well. I reached over to the plug. Pain shot up and down my arm. I didn't care. I grabbed it. I would finally be with my Nathan again. I pulled it and closed my eyes. I never woke up again.

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