GOAT

HISTORY

Greetings and salutations. Welcome to the page about me, the goat. Now for some background info.
I used to live in the Hills of Europe, and that is where I met the old man you know. One day he was lost in the woods and to be nice, I gave him directions. Then he gave me a tuna can. He asked me to live with him and I said sure why not, I got no family, you seem like a nice guy. So we went off to America the home of Apple Pie.

The old man said I'd be a present for his wife. But when we got to his house the wife was gone and there was only a short, short letter. I think it said, "I'm leaving you for your brother, because he f**** me better!" He then told me, no one will ever leave me again to make sure, put on this three foot fucking rope.

His eyes filled with tears of sadness, his heart was filled with grief. To sooth himself he drank a pint of old granddad and beat me like a side of beef.