Now, I'm sure you've heard a lot about the Monkee clones that are going around, you can now find them almost anywhere. What you may not know about is the growing number of the different KINDS of clones, and this is what I'm going to explain..
**The Infamous Micky-bot
**Basic Clone
**MonkeeMenClone
**TV Show Clones
**Real Clones
**Perfect clones
**Second-hand clones
**Teddy Bear clones
**Mr Schneider clones
**Female clones
**Festive Clones!
**Monkee relative clones!
**Slave Clones!
**Supernatural clones!
**Invisible clones!
Be careful if you are offered a Micky-bot. They are NOT clones, but robots. Some may be rejected leftovers from the alien eppy, that will cost you thousands in psychiatric fees. In any case, you will be able to spot these easily by their backwards feet. If you are unfortunate enough to be caught with one of these, make the best of it and fool around with their wiring (.. not THAT kind of wiring.. the electrical wires) you may be able to hook up a few of the more desired tubes, and thus, Micky-bots are the simplest to re-program. Be careful of rust, and schemes to take over the world.
They are the simplest clone, but also require the most care. Unlike the others it needs YOUR help, rather then helping you. These clones may have slight irregularities from the ORIGINALS. Please don't ask this kind to sing, they are all totally tone deaf, and it's NOT a pretty sight (er.. sound). These are best if you are low on cash, they are the cheapest clones available
One of the most popular clone selections, due to the fact that their only clothes are the tight Monkeemen outfits, their ability to fly, and well, those tight little Monkeemen outfits. Did I mention the tight Monkeemen outfits? These clones are the most macho, so don't expect them to be romantic. They are on the low end of the price scale, as they are of the non-musical variety.(only available in their 1966-68 ages)
These clones are the real-life characters of the TV show. They aren't much different from other clone types, but Peter is in fact the dummy, loose wiring gives Davy REAL stars in his eyes, and they are the most musical of all the clones. As flaws are taken away on TV, these clones are the most perfect (excepting perfect clones), but also one of the most expensive.(only available in their 1966-68 ages)
Real Clones are another of our more popular variety, they are the exact copies of their respective personalies at the time of cloning. Not only that, but they contain the small "flaws" that come only with the most human-like clones. I use the term flaw loosely, as they aren't actually flaws. Just the slight imperfections they all have that only make them MORE loveable. Of course, these are handmade, and therefore quite expensive. I should add that they are quite talented in music and dance.
These clones have been handcrafted by our lab workers to be utterly flawless. If you *can* find a flaw we will refund your money, or fix your clone. They are physically flawless, unless you specify a "cute-trademark" one may have (a birthmark, scar etc.) and are incredibly intelligent. Some use these clones for homework, but you are sure to be discovered as people become suspicious at flawless work. On the other hand, perfect people are incredibly obnoxious, and although they won't mean to, will bring to your attention any and all mistakes you've made. These are the most expensive clones on the market.
From this generalization you can specify any other clone type you would like (perfect, real, TV show..) They are 50% less expensive, and have only light wear and tear. Some may have inferiority complexes due to their owner returning them, but generally show more love and affection then other clones (excepting teddy-bear clones) These clones are non-refundable, but have a one year warranty.
These clones are filled not with blood and bones, but the softest, lightest material on earth, which our scientists have developed specifically for our clones. Teddy bear clones are extremely affectionate and love to be hugged. They may need some extra attention if their seams split, but a novice sewer will have no trouble in their care. They are willing to be shut up in cupboards and toy-boxes while company is in, and when they leave your clone will jump out and shower you with kisses. These clones are rather dumb, having stuffing for brains, but do not need any special attention for such. They are in the middle price range and very much recommended for small children
Very popular amongst silence-deprived people, these "clones" only speak when you have pulled the cord on their back. Made with only the softest clone materials they're great to sit on when you're tired. And we promise- it doesn't hurt them. At a party, they will move their hands and feet in time to the music, but never get up to dance, no more crowed dance floors! Great winkers. This clone is available in all Monkee's of all eras INCLUDING out favorite silent 5th Monkee- Mr Schneider himself!
Cloned while they were playing Ms. Arcadian, Princess Gwen, and at other Monkee-dressed up moments, these clones are feminine, nurturing, and motherly. Be careful not to promote identity crises, these clones are prone to them. A bonus- Females, they can be re-shaped into your clothing size, enabling you to borrow from their plentiful wardrobe!
View these gorgeous clones here!
Perfect for the holidays, these clones come in Christmas, Easter, Halloween, or any other holiday you care to dream up, attire. For a small added charge, we will dye their hair to match the holidays. Christmas clones direct from the Christmas show may be ordered.
View and example of the festive clones here!
Due to a recent legal agreement, we are now entitled to create clones of the Monkee's children, parents, and siblings. No Aunts or Uncles yet, sorry. They can be created at any age from birth to present day. A great way to bring out the maternal instincts in the more rambunctious clone. However, watch out for the babies- they don't grow up, just wear out, and do you REALLY want to be cleaning diapers for the next 10 years or so?
Don't be put off by the name, these clones LOVE to work. Whether it's cleaning up your room, or doing your laundry, they'll enjoy it thoroughly (and look gorgeous at the same time!) These clones are workaholics, however, and will wear out quicker than most
See the Micky and Mike slave clones hard at work, here!
Able to fly you across the country, or shot lightning out of their eyes, these clones can do everything you've ever dreamed of. Don't worry about accidentally activating potentially harmful laserbeams however- these clones have been designed with safety in mind and go through a 10 second decision process.
No more bothersome people wishing to borrow your clone, or demands for autographs on the street. This clone can even get into the movies for free! Through a brand-new innovation in our technology, these clones can be seen by you, and you only!
"see" these clones here!