------- New element discovered - Administratium -------

***** SEE END OF MESSAGE FOR IMPORTANT NOTE *****


The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered. The element,
tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an
atomic number of 0. However it does have 1 Neutron, 128 Assistant Neutrons,
75 Vice-Neutrons and 111 Assistant Vice- Neutrons. This gives it an atomic
weight of 315. These 315 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force
that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called Morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium, is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every other reaction with which it comes
into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would
normally occur in less than one second.

Administratium has a normal life of approximately 3 years, at which time it
does not decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in which Assistant
Neutrons, Vice-Neutrons and Assistant Vice-Neutrons exchange places. Some
studies have shown that the atomic weight actually increases after each
reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally
in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as
government, large companies, health facilities and universities; and will
often be found in the newest, best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of
concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is
allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium
can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not
promising.

Many politicians and bureaucrats are doing their utmost to curtail the
freedom of the Internet as well as to reduce liberty in other ways. One of the most
powerful strategies for curtailing their run-amok power is to ridicule them.
The less power they have, the less able they are to violate our freedoms and
liberties.

Please repost this message far and wide. If you don't pass this message on to
at least 10 people within the next 10 days, a pound of Administratium will
descend upon you and turn you into a sloth.

I know one woman who received this message and just deleted it. Within the
hour a pound of Administratium descended upon her. It now takes her 13
seconds to make one keystroke on her keyboard -- and it takes her 5 hours to read a
message like this.

Back to the Funnydex



1