Live is .......

On this page you can find some things to ease your life.
There are also quotes and signatures available. Have fun.

• Life is a cup of coffee when you come home after a long day.
• If you have a long day to go, don't do to much at once, you've got plenty of time.
• If the boss asks you why you haven't finished your jobs, you can say him that he gave you to much work (and show him you desk, completely covered with things to do).
• If you arrive to late at your work just say that your bicyclechain broke, and give your boss a broken bicyclechain (with oil and dust, he will be convinced because he don't want to become dusty)
• If you work in a bicycle shop do not use the previous one.

Some ironical Jokes (thanx to JFF)

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill.
Check 3 friends. If they're ok, you're it

Girlfriend pregnant !
(M)arry, (I)gnore, (A)bort

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing

When you argue with a fool, chances are he is doing just the same

I may not totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Wanting people to listen,
you don't just tap them on the shoulder anymore.
You have to hit them with a sledgehammer.
Then you notice, you'll have their straight attention

If trains stop at a train station, what happens at a workstation ?

Jesus Love You. But everyone else pretty much think you're an asshole

Failure does not prove something is impossible,
failure simply proves you are not using the right tools...
"If it doesn't fit, use a bigger hammer!"

Einstein is dead,
Elvis is not around anymore,
and I don't feel so good either

I always tell the truth. Even if I have to lie to do it

I tried to take a late night piss,
but the toilet moved so again I missed

Never stand between a dog and a tree

I hope to die peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep.
Not screaming like the passengers in his car

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now

Last night I went for the toilet. I opened the door and the lord turned the light for me on.
This morning my wive asked me: "Did you piss in the refrigurator ,or were it those goblins again?"

Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper

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