Chapter 13
Why me?

At the hospital, the nurses showed me my room. I was hoping...even praying that I didn’t have a room mate, but my prayer wasn’t answered. There was a girl that looked about fifteen years old sitting on her bed. She still had long, wavy auburn hair. Maybe she just got in here, I thought. Because she doesn’t look like she’d been on chemotherapy very long. I layed down on my bed and grabbed the latest book I was reading. I didn’t want to talk to her. I was upset enough already, so I didn’t want a girl that was probably a year older than me making things worse.
“Hi,” I heard a quiet voice say across the room. I looked over at the girl. She was sitting there, smiling at me.
“Uh, hi,” I said. setting my book in my lap.
“Are you scared?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “But I know what it’s like. I’ve been in and out of remission about three orfour times.”
“Oh,” she said. “I was just diagnosed with lymphonic leukemia just last week. I was just put on chemotherapy. What kind of leukemia do you have?”
“Lymophonic, like you.”
“Oh.” She pulled out a book and started reading. Well, that’s just rude! I thought. I was reading a book, she bothers me. We are talking, and she pulls a book. I then called Aunt Lynn. I asked her to bring me a big notebook so that I could keep a journal. When she brought it. I immediately started writing. I wrote a short paragraph about what I had talked about with the girl when I realized I never found out her name.
“Um, wh-what’s your name?” I asked her.
“Oh, Jenna,” she said, not looking up from her book. “What’s yours?”
“Ashlee,” I replied, and continued writing.

In one week and four days, I’ll be fifteen, I thought. I do really hope I’m out of here by then. I looked at my breakfast for the next morning. I hadn’t talked to Jenna since the first time we talked. This is so gross! I thought as I took a bite of the scrambled eggs the cook had made. I scrunched my face up as it went down my esophogus. I could tell it was spiked with drugs. At least I don’t have to look at the drugs when I take them. Now, I just know that they are there. The whole day I either ate, read, or napped. I didn’t want to get out of bed for fun time. Everyone else did though, but the nurse said if I wasn’t feeling good, then I didn’t have to go in there. I lied and said I wasn’t feeling very good. The only good thing that happened was Taylor visiting, but it was uncomfortable talk to him in a hospital room, that we didn’t hardly speak except to say hi. That night, before lights out, I wrote about my day. It took up about a whole two lines of the page to tell what I did.

The next three days were the same. A day later, I received an early birthday present. Linny, AJ, Josh, Aunt Lynn, Uncle John, Taylor, Zac, and the rest of my family from home came to visit me.
“Mom! Dad!” I cried hugging them. I then hugged each brother and each sister as they came to me. “I’ve missed you so much!” For the next hour and a half, my family talked with me about everything that had happened, every detail. They were proud of me when I told them I said yes when Taylor asked me out.
“Is this the guy? Is this the guy that had better not hurt my little baby or else......” my dad joked, looking at Taylor.
Taylor smiled and said, “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t hurt this angel. She’s too perfect.”
“Perfect is right,” Zac mumbled. I can’t believe Taylor is talking like this about me to my dad, I thought.
“Your a good man, Taylor. A good man,” my dad said. About eight o’clock, everyone had to leave.
“Bye!” I cried, hugging each of them.
“We’ll be back tomorrow!” my mother exclaimed.

At eight-thirty, a nurse came into the room and started straightening Jenna’s bed. I knew they didn’t do that unless somebody left to go home or.....died.
“D-Did Jenna go home?” I asked.
“Sweetie, Jenna died when you were napping earlier,” she said.
“Oh.”
“Everyone almost thought you had gone to, until the doctors realized you were still breathing.”
I looked at her and thought. But what if I was the one dead? I asked myself. What if Jenna had been sleeping and I was the one that had gone. The poor girl had barely been diagnosed with leukemia and I had already had it over two years. And she died before ME! That night, I couldn’t sleep. I was afraid I was going to pass away, just as quickly as Jenna had. Everytime I was about to fall asleep, I felt a pain somewhere. In my stomach or my leg or something. I had heard from doctors talking, that pains like that meant you could be near death, but I didn’t want to think about it. I did though. Why is this happening to me?! My head screamed. Why me? There are lots of other people in the world! Billions of others! And I was the one that ended up having it!

Chapter 14
Remission

A week later, June eighteenth, I woke up with a folder on my stomach, I opened it up to find the word “Remission” stamped in bright red ink across the front. I started screaming happily--jumping all over the room. A nurse came to see what was wrong, along with a doctor.
“I hit remission!” I screamed, tears running down my cheeks. “It’s my birthday, too! This is the greatest present my body has ever given me!”
The doctors stood there and smiled.

Thirty minutes later, I had my bags packed and I was ready to go home. When I returned, my birthday wasn’t celebrated much except with everyone’s hugs, welcoming me home again.
“How long will I have to stay here?” I asked.
“I don’t know, baby,” Mom replied. “I guess till I think that it’s safe.”
“Oh,” I said, and ran upstairs to the bedroom I hadn’t been in for so long. I found out the when Mom and the family came, Mom and Dad took the
spare room on the second floor, with James and Jeremy. And Lacey and Allie May were upstairs in Linny’s room.
“Hey, Allie May, do you want to go rollerblading with me, Taylor and Zac,” I asked her.
“Sure!” she said. A little while later, the four of us were out on the street, heading towards the mall. I had brought money, and so did Allie May. I assumed the guys did, but I didn’t know. The mall we entered didn’t exactly care if you wore rollerblades in there or not, becausethere were lots of other people that were wearing theirs.
“Where do you guys want to go first?” Zac asked.
“Well, Taylor and I were gonna go shopping for some clothes,” I put in.
“I was?” Taylor asked.
“You are now,” I said, tugging his arm.
“Hey, Allie?” Taylor said, before we left.
“Yeah?”
“Take good care of Zac for me, okay?” he said, laughing. I jerked his arm.
“Meet us back here in an hour, okay?” I said.
“Gotcha,” Zac said. Taylor and I headed to Claire’s.
“I thought we were shopping for clothes,” Taylor said.
“I only said that so Allie wouldn’t want to come with us,” I said. “I wanted her and Zac to get to know each other. She told me she likes him.”
“Oh....” he said, looking at a necklace that said ‘iLUVu’. He bought it and then gave it to me.
“Thank you,” I said kissing him softly on the cheeck. “It’s sweet.”

After an hour of wasting time, Taylor and I met up with Zac and Allie. Zac had his arm around Allie’s shoulders.
“Looks like somebody’s gotten close since we’d last seen them,” I told Taylor.
“Shut-up!” Zac said. I laughed and looked at what Allie and Zac had bought. Allie was holding a rose and a teddy bear. Zac was wearing a new silver chain necklace.
“Man, Ashlee! Zac gets Allie better stuff then I get you!” Taylor exclaimed.
“That’s okay,” I said. “It’s not the gift that counts.” He smiled, and we left.

Chapter 15
Baywatch & School

On the way back to Aunt Lynn’s house, Taylor started explaining how Isaac and Linny had been going good. I already knew about all of that, though. Linny had came to visit me, telling me about everything, when I was in the hospital. That seems like so long ago, I thought. Though I only left this morning.
“Just consider that your birthday present from me,” Taylor said, pointing to the necklace, as we headed up the side walk. I touched it and said,
“Thank you very much, Taylor. I’ll never take it off.”
As, we walked into the house, Zac and Allie were already taking off their rollerblades. Josh and AJ were sitting in front of the TV.
“Hurry, Taylor! Zac! Baywatch is about to start!” Josh exclaimed. I looked at AJ with a look that said ‘You’re going to watch Baywatch?’ He nodded and Taylor said,
“I think I’m gonna pass today.”
“Me, too,” Zac added. I glanced at Allie and she smiled. Her and Zac ran upstairs into our mom and dad’s room to tell them the good news about them going out. I slipped out of my rollerblades and Taylor and I headed upstairs also. We went to my Aunt Lynn’s bedroom, where she was reading a book.
“Aunt Lynn?” I asked.
“Yes, Ashlee?” I walked in and sat down on the bed.
“When does school start around here?” She looked at me and said, “August 5.”
“August 5?!” I almost screamed. “In California, school didn’t start until August 20!”
“Sorry,” she said. “Though you do get out of school May 5.”
“Well, that’s good.”

Chapter 16
School

On the very first day of school, I was scared to death. I didn’t know anyone--except Josh. I was in the High School that year. Ninth grade. Josh was in tenth, though I rarely saw him. But, I was VERY happy when I did. Near the end of that first day, I had met three girls that were really great: Cassidy, Teri, and Jayme. We were the best of friends. Cassidy had brownish-blonde hair and was about as tall as I was (5’8”) and loved the tight
jeans look. She was skinny and had a nice, trusting boyfriend named Kevin.
Teri had brown hair and was a about two inches taller than Cassidy and I. She also liked the tight jeans look and rarely wore baggy. She was skinny and had a perfect figure. She also had a boyfriend. His name was Corey.
Now, Jayme was a bit more like me. She had pure blonde hair. She liked the baggy jeans a bit more (though I was one of those 50/50 people, that liked two things equal, though they were complete opposite). She was really skinny, too. Though, she didn’t have a boyfriend, it didn’t mean she wasn’t ever asked out. The four of us were a perfect match. I realized that they were the popular crowd, which didn’t bother me because I was the most popular back in California. One day, the night before we called each other and decided to wear very similar outfits. All the guys at school kept staring at us. At one point, Teri saw this guy she had liked staring at the both of us, checking us out, we looked at each other, and cracked up
laughing. Everyone at school knew I was going out with Taylor Hanson, and even though I found out that the group wasn’t the greatest anymore, it didn’t hurt my record. The guys were just jealous of him.

By this time, Linny, AJ, and the rest of the family had gone home. Linny and Allie had gone crying, because they were going to miss Isaac and Zac.......and me I hoped. I knew how they felt. But I didn’t want to think about that. Teri was over and we were dancing to The B-52’s. Suddenly, Taylor walked in while “Love Shack” was starting.
“Hi, Taylor,” I said after Teri said hi.
“Hi, ladies,” he replied. “What were you guys planning on doing?”
“We were justing going to do the dance we learned to it in cheerleading,” Teri said, pulling out her cheerleading skirt and shirt out of her bag she
brought. She was going to spend the night. She tossed me mine from the couch, truned down the stereo some, and went to change.
“Yeah, and then we were thinking about doing the dance to it that we did in gymnastics,” I asdded. Earlier in the year, Teri, Cassidy, Jayme, and I had gone out for chearleading and gymnastics, since we all had a love for both of them. But they’re over.
“Can I watch?” Taylor asked.
“Well, sure,” I said, as Teri walked back into the living room. “Teri, Taylor is going to watch. But, before we start I am going to change, and could you two move the couch and chairs against the wall?”
“Sure,” they said. In a little bit, I was changed into my old cheerleading outfit.
“Ready?” Teri asked.
“Ready.”

Chapters Seventeen to Nineteen
back to chapters
back to Lila