I've come to the realization that out of all the people that come to my site, do very few get what I stand for and what I believe in. I mean just look at what that girl Tonya wrote in my guestbook : "i thought i was the only person in the world that felt unnecessary violence (anarchy)was a waste of anyone's imagination. it's sick and pointless." Well first things first. She doesn't even know what the fuck Anarchy really is. She's prolly some sell-out bitch who believes everything she hears on the fucking TV. Anarchy is not pointless violence, or friggin' chaos. It is complete freedom. A perfect Utopia. The only people that associate violence and Anarchy are the people that spoonfed all the shit by the government about how great things are going in our economy and shit. Or there are the extremist Anarchists who think bombing and random violence is the way to achieve true Anarchy, when this is not even the case. This is NOT what I believe in. BUT I do believe in Anarchy and no government. People do not need to be ruled by anyone but themselves. They need to take responsibility for themselves. Need to learn how to think, live, and be for themselves. Not for other people. I recently have been reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. A very interesting philosophical read. In parts it portrays how someone must live for themselves. There is no point in living for others. What does that get you? That gets you a bunch of people depending on others to be there for them always and when they are not then their world collapses. People always think everything is going to be given to them instead of working for it. I'm about to start working my ass off very soon, meaning I prolly won't be on much. Meaning you won't have any great (::coughbullshitcough::) rantings from me for awhile. I'm sorry I must do this, but that whole theatre thing. I've completely digressed here, haven't I? What was I talking about? I'm not really sure anymore. I'm in this little whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Not knowing which way to turn or which way to look, or even if I should think anymore. Sometimes I think I'd be happier if I didn't think. If I let things just stay as they are, and not try to change anything. Something inside me tells me that I can not do that. I have to fight, I have to let myself be heard. I have to fucking stand up against those assholes that try to beat me down. But I doubt myself, and that lets me know that I'm not ready. I still have these feeble attempts. But please tell me, are they really doing a damn thing? Am I really changing anything? Who out there reads my page religiously, besides one person I know of? I doubt many of you even give a shit. I just sit here and ramble on for no apparent reason. What good does it do but waste space on the internet. Itz not like I serve any real purpose up here, do I? If I'm wrong here, please somebody tell me. I need to know that I'm changing things, or people's minds. Or helping people, SOMETHING! I can't just sit here and ramble without my purpose being fufilled. I've had this page for almost a year and a half, and what good have I done besides waste space on the geocities server??? I haven't done a god damn thing and we all know that. I think I might even stop writing. (We all know this is a lie, but who cares right now?) Only reason I wouldn't is b/c it is a release. And the only reason I wouldn't take this thing down is b/c here I at least have some hope of people reading it. Anyways, I'm going to go now. I'm slowly but surely driving myself crazy, and thats a bad thing. Adieu.

~Lynne