the others' MTv Loaded interview


Marty Antonio: Hello, and thank you for watchin MTv's Loaded, the show that lets you know what's happening in your favorite artists' lives. Tonight's special guest is a band that proactively transcends all paradigms with its hip-teen angst anthems and bizarre musicality. They've won Grammies, Blockbuster Entertainment awards, politzers, they won all of the MTv Music Awards last year and even took home a 'best kiss' award from the MTv movie awards. The only thing this band is missing is an album. Tonight we welcome to the show, the others.

Scott: Thanks Marty.

Marty: Now, we all know who you guys are, but people are dying to know, what does the name mean?

Peter: Well, my parent's used to be hippies, and my dad once hallicinated this parrot named petree, but dad was never good at spe-

Scott: I think he means the band's name.

Marty: Uh, Yeah....

Kenn: It's kinda like our way of life... jesus said to love others, and that's who we are...

Marty: Speaking of jesus, Eryk- what do you have to say about the rumors of you claiming to be jesus?

Eryk: They're completely false... i distinctly said we were better than jesus.

Marty: Like the beatles?

Pete: No, he said 'better', not 'bigger'.

Scott: Yeah, it sucks to be fucked by jesus....

Marty: You're saying you're better than jesus in bed?

Eryk: Yeah. Ever hear of the seccond comming? It never happened....

Kenn: And his dad won't let him use condoms

Eryk: But i said that a long time ago... we've improved.

Marty: First better than jesus, now what?

Eryk: well, now we're better than sex.

Marty: Your music?

Kenn: Well, our music's always been better than sex...

Pete: but now the actual band is better than sex.

Scott: It's an idea i had in the middle of the night when i couldn't sleep and-

Marty: We'll have more, after this

(commercial ends)

Marty: Welcome back. Now, Eryk, how can a band be better than sex?

Eryk: well-

Peter: You can listen to a cd over and over again and never have to buy it lunch.

Kenn: (sternly) A cd is quiet when you tell it to.

Eryk: It's actually more of a concept idea we're introducing with the new album.

Peter: Which, by the way, is comming out in stores on the 35th

Eryk: You see, the actual album has hundreds of erotic sound bites in the background, enough so that you'll never get bored!

Scott: And for the ladies we put in pictures of peter modeling popular european swimwear.

Marty: Now, about pro-gang violence messages

Eryk: I'm tired of you FUCKING WHITE GUYS tellin us bruthas how to fucken live! you trippin man?!? i be cappin yo ass RIGHT NOW muthafucka!!! I keep tellin my bruthas, no matter what 'the man' be sayen, KILL DA WHITE MAN! KILL HIM before HE KILLS YOU!

Kenn: (slaps eryk to the ground) Eryk keeps forgetting he's white.

Marty: ah, i see

Eryk: sorry

Marty: Now, back to peter... he IS quite popular with the ladies, do you feel this sends a message of promiscuity to young impressionable women?

Kenn: Man i hope so! you know how hard it is to get laid? man, i'm a friggen rock star and >I< still have to show them where my dressing room is...man...

Peter: If they don't know where to find my trailer they aint worth the trouble.

Kenn: I shouldn't even need to get my ass out of bed.

Marty: Speaking of asses, did you bring that video clip you mentioned to me?

Eryk: I sure did.

Marty: Why don't you explain it for the people at home?

Eryk: well, as they proabably know, Pepsi and ourselves had a 'find the syringe' contest, and boy were people searching! the lucky winner got peter's ass! so here's the video clip of peter having his ass removed and our lucky winner recieving her just rewards.

(video runs)
Scott: And here's our lucky winner, Vicky Thompson everyone! Vicky, how's it feel to know that in just minutes you'll be the proud new owner of peter thatch's ass?

Vicky: OHHHMYGOD!!! PETER THATCH IS SOOOOO FINE!!! I'M GOING TO -MARRY- HIM!!! i have ALL of the video's that he gets naked in, and i have a home video BOOTLEG of him bitch slapping ginger spice and doing her doggie style!

Scott: Isn't that wonderful, and now we go to our prize, or rather, the person attached to it, PETER THATCH!

(scene switches to eryk & peter & kenn)

Eryk: Thanks scott. Alright peter, you ready to sell yur ass?

Peter: Anything for the chicks man, anything for the chicks..

Eryk: Kenn?

(chainsaw roars to life)

Kenn: Alright peter, hold still, this may sting a little

Peter: Wait man, don't i get any drugs?

Eryk: You and i just downed 10 bottles of cough syrup, what more do you want?

Peter: Oh yeah, well, saw away then

Kenn: (slices peters ass off and laughs maniacly)

Eryk: (grabs ass and puts it on a platter) here we go

(camera follows eryk into other room where vickey is waiting eagerly)

Eryk: Ladies and gentlemen, peter thatch's ass!!
(crowd goes nutts)

Scott: Vickey, whatdya have to say?

vickey: Ohmygod, its sooooo cute! like, mel gibson dream on!

(clip ends)

Marty: (chuckles) How's that prosthetic treating ya peter?

Peter: Prosthetic?

All: . . . .

Marty: Well, thats all the time we have for now, join us next week on MTv's Loaded as we show a special Hanson, 'Crushed to death by insane 9 year olds' interview. until next time, keep it swingen....

(end of interview)


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