"THE 1998 CONVENTION"


A few words from that man of many words,
Francis Tunney.


I lied, well fibbed a bit really, tonight, the night is young and its time
for remembering, because if I don't put it down now then I won't remember
what it was I wanted to remember anyway.  So, as I was saying, what was I
saying, does anyone know, does anyone care?

Prestatyn is a fairly sleepy, typically British tourist resort, redolent of
arcades, fruit machines, bingo and the like.  It is located in North Wales
and has an atmosphere that is quite cosmopolitan - a mixture of North
Walian, Scouse (Liverpudlian) and West Midlands, it is full of caravan
parks, bed and breakfast outlets and holiday homes plus PONTINS TWIXT THE
SEA, aka Pontins Sands Resort.

These 'camps' have a pretty downmarket reputation and, if Southport (OIQFC's
previous home) was anything to go by, pretty well deserved.  They are cheap,
brassy and aimed at the lower end of the holiday sector - and that is to out
advantage.  What they offer is a venue at which 2000+ Queenies can gather,
drink, have glorious fun, meet old friends and those that they have yet to
become friends, drink some more and something else - oh yes play games and
listen to some seventies and eighties music that was popular.  For some the
fancy dress offers the only opportunity to cross dress in public and I am
amazed at the numbers of hirsute 'young' men who jump into basinettes,
suspender belts and negligents at the proverbial drop of the hat - some even
look quite attractive (but that might be the drink talking).

Jackie, realising that Pontins profits were suffering, and being the
philanthropic individual that she is, decided (great wisdom here) to give
Pontins the chance to get used to Queen Fans by opening up on the Thursday
night, to let us find our feet, settle in and relax before the 'onslaught'.
She severally misjudged us.  Imagine the scene:  An open bar, karaoke, no
driving and Queen music, what did they expect?  That we would go to bed at
twelve midnight as per the programme, or that we would party, party, party
till the night was old?  You've guessed, we all went to bed at ten o'clock -
well some did, but the hugest majority stayed up boogying and (Oh Lordy)
drinking.

We Tunneys had a bohemian cocktail party in our bijou residence where we
demolished a veritable vineyard of red wine, a distillery of whisky and the
"Lasagne from hell" (courtesy of Mrs Susan Summerfield cheffette to the
gentry).  Then we moseyed on down to the Clwyd room where, so we are told,
the funniest karaoke acts had been performing with the stars of the night
being Austin (who always goes down a storm) and two young ladies who paid
homage to Tammy Wynette with a rendition of "Stand by Your Man" that would
have had her spinning in her grave - well done (that will show them for
ignoring Cozy!).  (There was a very sweet message on screen last night
[Saturday] which, paraphrased, went "Now that Cozy is in Heaven, at least
we'll know who's making the thunder!" - what an epitaph!)

Saturday Morning, we woke to the sound of the birds coughing (it is Britain
after all) and those who were girding their loins to do battle on the
playing fields of Prestatyn had to register for the seven-a-side tourney by
08:00 - we must be out of our tree!

Following our resounding tournament win in 1997 (by 5 penalties to four), we
had decided to enter a pretty similar team - "Us Lot" comprising seven good
men and true who's average age was 36 (and that included one 18 year old,
two 50's, 40, 37, 35 and 28) but, and this IS important 28% of the team were
members of your own channel - QMS.  By 09:00  a huge turnout meant that we
could field three teams and that the tournament would be very short (phew
said my feet!), except that, to make it fair, we had to have four teams so
some would have to play in more than one team - confused, you will be!.

By the end of the tournament we had some 18 teams, comprising approximately
60 players, so most people got to see action more than once - some ending up
having to play with themselves (work it out)!  "Us Lot" did OK.  We won all
our qualifying rounds and conceded not a goal - and our striking partnership
(average age 50) scored half our goals with yours truly performing
heroically to net two.  In the final we met a world team calling themselves
"The Miracles".  We were pretty underwhelming losing 3-0 in a one sided
final.  They had youth, experience, skill, enthusiasm and the referee on
their side so we were bound to be on a hiding to nothing.

That night was the Auction and "her indoors" had sussed out her target early
on - the litho from the eYe.  Some items went for stunning amounts - a
Freddie vest for almost #2000 (1590 I think) whilst others for pretty good
sums.  One framed "Complete Works" 13th album went for #700 +, what does
that make the complete set worth?

being involved in the sporting activities means that you can't be in two
places at once and I missed the welcome from Jackie and the messages from
Brian and Roger, JT thinks she has managed to get them on Video, but if
anyone else has, I'd be glad to trade something (Thomas comes to mind).
Apparently BHM's messages included one for Cozy and the assembled multitudes
were treated to some tracks from RT's forthcoming Magnus opus.

That night was also the debut of the Bohemians at the Convention and, this
is MY view, no-one else's, visually they are pretty close to the mark, in
fact damned close, however, musically and vocally, they are still a bit too
raw to place in front of such a discerning audience.  I have seen them four
times now with two line ups and, sincerely, believe that they have some work
to do yet.  They are doing things that I cannot and, at my advanced state of
degeneration, can never hope to do, but they are well behind bands like
NATO, GA GA, The Royal Family, Flash Harry and Miracle.

Not much fun to be had in this posting, sorry if I'm not up to par, but the
grey matter needs some form of alcoholic stimulant.

TTFN

FT

KYA






Queenfans
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