About The Master of the Depths...
Lord Beliar!!!

--Pronounced "Belly-are"!!!--

---

"...not just an only child but for most
of his life a lonely child..."
Wizard and Glass
Stephen King

Ok, about me (and pay attention, this is all very important!). I'm a college student at Virginia Tech, the heart of drunken fraternity/sorority stereotypes in the East. Despite this, I love the atmosphere of the mountains and the seclusion of being away from everyone...here I can be left alone for the most part. My interests include writing the most original works of fiction, poetry, and lyrics; playing my B.C. Rich Warlock bass; sitting on my bony butt in front of this computer; and random and senseless acts of what some call blasphemy and others call knowledge. I spread the word of truth with the most glorious radio show "Voice of the Grave" on WUVT, the college radio station. Also, I'm the "Metal Director," which means I'm cooler than all the other wussy djs on the station. I despise all the closed minded, self-righteous, lemming-like "cool" people in the world. To define this, I mean those people who look at those like me and instantly assume they know what I am about, and that they are superior to me. This is always, without question, an untrue assumption, and I will make the world eat each and every second of societal pain that I have endured.

I am not a Satanist, but an opponent of humanity, institutionalized religion, and those who force their opinions on others. I have no problems with the Christian "God" per se, but with the types of people I have come into contact with in regards to religious perspectives. Those who tote their morality and religious zeal are the first to take pot-shots, run their mouths, and basically break many "Christian ideals" when they see those who have a different viewpoint. What would surprise them is that not only do I probably know more about their religion, whichever it may be, than they do, but I also probably follow its doctrines in some way! My mommy didn't tell me what to be...I used my wisdom to seek the truth and grasp it...no matter what form it took or continues to take...life is a process, not a plateau. Despite this, the Christian fools of our time continue to work their stupidity before me. No one should be forced to deal with what I have.

I've become a true Hermetic Qabbalist and, at the same time, sort of a Buddhist at heart: I seek to unify my conflicting opposites within, and, as the final step, to unify myself with the Godhead. But, this does not mean the "commercialized" Jehovah of the Christians. Jehovah's true nature is that of the Tetragrammaton, IHVH, in Qabbalah. IHVH is merely a lower physical manifestation of a God Aspect called AHIH, Eheieh...who again is merely a lower energy form that kind of represents the first beginnings of the creative and physical forces of nature in their purest. When I talk of union with the Godhead, I am talking about the great AIN...NOTHING...the No-God...this is what I speak of! But, AIN is larger and more irrationally inexplicable than any human word could infer, especially "Godhead." For AIN is only understood by Its manifestations, and this is what I believe the varying gods of the vast human cultures are, whether it be Jehovah, Christ, or Apollo. As a Hermeticist, each of these is just as valid as the ineffable AIN, and just as useful, for through these things may we reach the Divine Truth of Nothingness! This is where my problems with modern Christianity lie: not only does it deny and condemn the immensely powerful cultures and gods of the past, it sought to wipe them off the face of the Earth! And, it made the Body, the Feminine, the Dark, the Irrational, the Negative principles of existence EVIL! Why do you think Satan is the LORD OF THE EARTH??? It denied an aspect of human existence that is essential to the final step. Denying the Body would be as dumb as denying the Mind, and this only tears human consciousness apart: this Feminine principle, this darkness, the darkness of the waters of the Abyss, must be embraced for a healing to ever take place. Christians are simply cutting themselves off at the knees! (Or the crotch, if you think about it! This, however, is not an excuse to go screw every living thing you can...I'm speaking spiritually, not carnally of course!). Also, Christianity is, if you study the Qabbalah (or Tree of Life), stuck worshipping as their Supreme God a mere God-Aspect who works on our physical level! So, their great and mighty Jehovah is not even the top of the ladder, he's just an angry and ticked off emanation of worldly creation! Look higher, for the truth begins in Nothing...in AIN (or Nirvana/Nibbana for the Buddhists)!

I am convinced that life is only pain, women are surely conspiring against me, and "The White Man" is keeping me down. I am extremely interested in the mythology of all ancient cultures; Magick/Qabbalah/Yoga/occultism; Romantic and similar spiritually-tinged poetry by the likes of William Blake, one of the greatest minds to ever grace our horrid little stellar booger; and supernatural horror...namely by the great author H.P. Lovecraft. You should definitely pick-up some of his works. Oh, and those of you that may think I'm sick and/or twisted for the content of my page, let me assure you I am not. I do not promote or condone the acts of murder or other violent methods of settling petty things occasionally spoken of on my site. Rather, I am interested in the capacity for violence, hatred, and immorality that is contained within the Minds of many. I think that one of the most interesting subjects ever is the human brain and what it is capable of. When the opposites (Male/Female, conscious/ unconscious, rational/irrational, etc.) are left in conflict, all of this violence, hatred, and other pitiful acts are the result. Thus the Macrocosm (Macroprosopus, the Cosmos, etc.) is torn asunder by the shortcomings and mistakes of the Microcosm (Microprosopus, Man and his little playground inside). There are good things within us. But, if you look on my page, you'll realize that every brain has a dark side. Every one.

Life is just a series of connected tragedies that must be retained as Knowledge for our trek across the Abyss...to Understanding and Wisdom. This I know, intuitively and by experience. This fact, combined with my obvious disdain for the human animal, has resulted in my markedly hermit-like attitude. I am easy to get along with, as long as I choose to be friendly. When I am pissed off, it is impossible to miss. As Master of the Depths, I reside in and watch over the ancient Abyss, which is the darkest places in the mortal soul. Those few brave enough to stare this Abyss in the face have either died of fright or come through it truly enlightened. An example of this revered kind is Aleister Crowley, greatest of the worlds Magicians, founder of the "Law of Thelema" seen on the first page, Prophet of the New Aeon of Horus, poet extraordinaire, and a genius at that. I myself am progressing, albeit slowly and deliberately, through this Abyss in similar fashion, following the Serpentine Path up the Tree of Life, working my way towards Kether and the bliss that is AIN, Nothingness, the interminable 0. This empty Abyss, cold with the absence of all known life, has its Heart in me, and I am in its Heart as well. For this universe is a series of contradictions and polarities, linked together by just as real equalities, with the truth lying in the center of the poles. Such is the nature of existence. For those of you that question this, read some of Dr. C.G. Jung's works on synchronicity and individuation. Very interesting stuff. To those seeking the true embodiment of darkness, confusion, chaos, evil, good, light, joy, sorrow, and all else that is equally opposite and alike...merely look into your own eyes, staring back from the mirror. What lies within?

Mankind is doomed by its own nature. Without an understanding of the true power of the Will, control of which is the true "Magick," humans can only spiral down into the inevitable, inescapable vacuum that lies in their spiritual center. This is the true judgement! Not Jesus (Jesus= IHVH + Sh, Shin, Spirit= IHShVH), not Yahweh (Yahweh= YHWH= IHVH), none of this I see as true! Only humanity is its own destructor. The quote, "God created man, who in turn created Him," has its truth so far as man glorifies and exemplifies God...yet no one understands this as such. "Gods" do exist, but only so that we may use them to climb the Ladder of Lights towards AIN, which is the Beginning, Middle, and End. The powers of these Gods are understood and strengthened by the mental power of millions upon millions of people believing in them in their different incarnations for thousands upon thousands of years. But, now people get so caught up in religious politics, this fact isn't even recognized, the truth behind our little Gods never acknowledged save for the initiated. And we are all dead.

Darkness resides in me, and I reside in it...as does Light in its most glorious form. Not the lame, junior high school darkness where people hang cats and burn stuff. No, that's nothing more than stupid people attempting to be cool. My darkness is one of inescapable sorrow, something that should never and will never be spread to those around me. For as much as I have grown to despise humanity in almost all its incarnations, I would not wish my life and my experiences on anyone. Such is the way of the Forgotten Soul.

So, if you, brave Spirit, can take all of this as it comes and still live your life unaffected, I say congratulations. I must do what I believe right, and together the Just alone will realize what the meaning of existence really is. Fear not, fellow sufferers for the truth, for we will be rewarded. Thank you for your time, and if you disagree with anything I have said, it's ok...just point, laugh, and say "He's Weird!!!" I shall be there, in the darkness Outside and In...and I will be the one laughing! ---Lord Beliar

"Darkness!
Horror of darkness enfolding, resistless, unspeakable visitant sped
by an ill wind in haste!
madness and stabbing pain and memory
of evil deeds I have done!"
"Oedipus Tyrannus"
Sophocles

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