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STEVE SCHLISKA ON WORDS DAVE RANDALL ON 6 STRINGS RON RENFROE ON BASS CHRIS HAMILTON ON DRUMS
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If you have any doubts about whether or not you are ready for this,you should click the fucked up 70's smiley face to check your ability to handle what awaits you should you choose to continue.
Thanks for stopping by, RON
*NOTE* In Order To Play The Cow And Other Games, You Must Allow The Gray Box To Turn Into The Game. It May Take A Few Minutes.
*When dining with clients or bussiness associates,set the tone early on by bellowing to the waitress,"Wild Turkeys,straight-up and keep 'em coming!"
*Join a co-ed softball team-preferably one that swings.
*Attend a small town Fourth-of July celebration and make fun of all the hicks.
*Show respect for everyone who works for a living, especially porn actresses.
*Guns and booze don't mix. But guns and amphetamines are a real hoot!
*When someone repeatedly tops your stories during a conversation,just start making shit up.
*Work the phrase,"That's easy for you to say,you're a borderline retard!" into your everyday conversations.
*When people ask you to be honest with them,tell them they are the most boring person you have ever met and that you are an extra-terrestrial.
*Keep all your important documents in the basement next to oily rags piled near the furnace.
*Insult at least three people everyday.
* Giving people the finger is not passe'.It still hurts their feelings.
* Have sex with and reject someone who really thinks your great.
* Bored with life? Pick someone out who strikes your fancy and stalk them.
* Bathe your cat often.They don't really need it,but they don't like it.
* Go to a little league game and yell,"YOU SUCK!!" for two hours.
* The next time you are gambling,ask yourself this question,"Hell,I'm drunk,why should I give a damn?"
* When asked what they want to be when they grow up,condition your children to respond,"A drifter."
* Wear a T-shirt bearing an offensive slogan to PTA meetings.
* Don't let thier reactions fool you. Dogs love getting kicked in the butt.
* Desensitize your children to television violence by making them watch every installment of the Faces Of Death series.
* Drink excessive amounts of alcohol tohelp even out an unpleasant LSD experience ..
* Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper, Hitler, Attila the Hun,all the Popes and Ronald Reagan.
* Give your mate's genitals a cute, little nickname.Stinky is good for the ladies. For men, Tiny is a good choice.
* Try to leave people feeling worse than they did before talking to you.
MORE TOMORROW OR WHENEVER I FREAKIN' FEEL LIKE IT
All wrong headed suggestions by James E. Bryant, Austin Tx.
Special thanks to Fester for kick starting this page in the groin.
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