WHEN JAMES MADE THE EARTH (Written and Sent in by James Phoenix
In the begining there were just two things. One was James and the other was a goat. However, James got rid of the goat as it served no real purpose to the story.
James waited for ages trying to think of something to do. It wasn't until about 8 O'clock in the evening that he came up with an idea. He was going to go to earth. That sounded like a good idea to him. But earth didn't exist. 'Oh bugger!' he thought to himself.
James was the type of guy who would set deadlines for almost anything. He thought for a while and then said "I know. I'll create the earth so that I can go there. Yes, um right all I need is seven days to do it maybe eight if I'm going to include animals. Yes! thats what I'll do for this week."
So he went on to make a list of thing he would create on each day...
Day one.
1.Spiders
2.Oil rigs
3.Empty glue containers
4.And a pig
Day two.
1.Nasty big wasps so the spiders have a hard time
2.Oil rig workers
3.Grass
4.A small hill with grass
5.A drink in a glass because James was thursty by now
6.Plans for planet earth
7.A worm or two
Day three.
1.Some of those nagging little women
2.Jelly
3.France
4.Bombs to go in france
5.Detonator for bombs
6.Little man with little brains
7.The feeling that will make the man hate France and blow it up in to loads of bits that die and melt away in the flames of power and destruction ... (yes!!!)
Day four
1.A sparrow
2.Ants
3.Toilet cleaners
4.Brut Aquatonic as James smelt bad today
5.Bins
6.Tins
7.And fish with fins
Day five
1.A small hair brush
2.A sink
3.A tea spoon to go in the sink
4.Someones daughter
5.And an old man liable to getting run over
Day six
1.Those small beans you find in food that don't have purpose
2.Oh yes...Food
3.Small yapping dogs
Day seven
1.Eyes
2.Toes
3.And a garden hose
4.Hydrocloric Acid
5.A hippy
6.Clothes
7.A note to self to remember to create world tomorrow
Day eight (The extra day)
1.The world
James Had done it. He had made the world. It was now time to visit it.
He went down to the world and found that it was crap and served no benificial purpose. So he packed it all away and got up from the sand pit in the park and went home.