When the going gets tough And the stomachg acids flow The cold wind of conformity Is nipping at your nose When some trendy new atrocity Has brought you to your knees Come with us we'll sail the Seas of Cheese
Here they come Here come the bastards I heard it from a confident - Who heard it form a confidant They're definately on their way There's one with this idea Something about a hammer head shark Nosehairs and flatus Best keep your distance because Here they come here come the bastards Bury your head deep in the sand Anonyminity is a virtue in this day and age Amazing hand dexterity Flagrant misuse of security Better run, run, run, run, run Run Run Run Run, here they come.
Sgt. Baker is my name I'm gonna teach you how to play the game of warfare Suddenly it appears to me You got a bit much dignity For your own good, boy Yes sir, yes sir. I will rape your personality Pummel you with my own philosophy Strip you of your self-integrity To make you all a bit like me I said right, left Sgt. Baker here again And if you calls me "puddin Tame" I'll stomp you down, boy Steers and Queers Steers and Queers where you come >From there's just steers and queers And you ain't got no horns, boy Yes sir, yes sir I will rape your personality Pummel you with my own philosophy Strip you of your self-integrity To make you all a bit like me I said right, left
In a town in southernmost Sicily Lived a family too proud to be poor In the year that fever took father away They hastened for American shores Now a mother and her son are standing in line It's a cold day on Ellis Isle And they look to the Statue of Liberty For the boy we have American Life Ong is a Laotian refugee He works in the audio trade The smoke from flux is filling his lungs He's earning minimum wage Spending spare time down on San Pablo ave Once a week gets a woman for the night And he writes home tales of prosperity For the boy we have American Life Bob is an unemployed veteran Born and bred in the South Bronx He's living off the streets down in east L.A. Residing in a cardboard box Now he plays a little quit and he has a small dog Searching for aluminum cans And he hold on tight to his dignity He was born into American Life
Jerry was a race car driver And he drove so goddamned fast He never did win no checkered flag But he never did come in last Jerry was a race car driver He'd say "El solo number one" With a bocephus sticker On his 442 he'd light 'em up Just for fun Captain Pierce was a fireman Richmond engine #3 I'll be a wealthy man when I get A dime for all the things that Man taught to me Captain Pierce was a strong man Strong as any man alive It stuck in his craw that they Made him retire at the age of 65 Jerry was a race car driver 22 years old Had too many cold beers one night And wrapped himself around a telephone pole.
I just can't seem to blend Into society I have no hope for this dim Simplicity of law and order By whose rules I see no rhyme in the reason I hold no hope for this holy treason Of love and so soft By whose standards They tell me, they tell me Who are they, who is they
My socks and shoes always match Is it Luck? There's a foot at the end of each of my legs Is it Luck?I can play my bass for you Is it Luck?Some gals like to kiss my face Is it Luck? Is it Luck? There was food inside your mouth today Is it Luck?Your barber cuts your hair just so Is it Luck?When the taste of sex is on your lips Is it Luck? Is it Luck? Cyanide works oh so fast Is it Luck?Polyester makes you sweat Is it Luck?If a graham cracker gets you off Is it Luck Love. Love? Is it Luck? Is it Luck?
As I stand in the Shower Singing Opera and such Pondering the possibility that I Pull the pud too much There's a scent that fills the air Is it flatus? Just a touch. And it makes me think of you.
"I remember as it were a meal ago" Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter may have nestled its way into His mighty throat. Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down the cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine. Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator. Tommy the cat had many a story to tell, but it was a rare occasion such as this that he did. "She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit. The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days. The sight was beyond belief. Many a head snapped for double, even triple, takes as this vivacious feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbys were known to hang out. They hung in droves. Such a multitude of masculinity could only be found in One place... and that was O'malley's Alley. The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended) but not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into the heart of the alley. She knew what she wanted. She was lookin' for that stud bull, the he cat. And that was me. Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto thee... Say baby do you wanna lay down by me"
[Instrumental]
I've seen them out at Soco They're pounding sixteen penny nails The truckers on the interstate Have been known to ride the rails The sweat is beating on the brow Can't keep these fellas down 'Cause those damned blue-collared tweekers Are runnin' this here town I knew a man who hung drywall He hung it mighty quick A trip or two to the blue room Would help him do the trick His foreman would pat him on the back Whenever he would come around 'Cause these dammed blue-collar tweekers Are beloved in this here town Now the union boys are there To protect us from all the corporate type While curious George's drug patrol Is out here hunting snipe Now they try to tell me different But you know I ain't no clown 'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers Are the backbone of this town Now the flame that burns twice as bright Burns only half as long My eyes are growing weary As I finalize this song So sit back and have a cup o' joe And watch the wheels go round 'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers Have always run this town
Felt a pang late one afternoon
I was fishin' off Muir beach
With Larry LeLonde
Grabbed a tuna salad sandwich
And I started to chew
Pretty soon Ler's yellin
Fish on. Fish on
I was just a little pup
And it was derby day
Was dad and me and Darrell
Out in San Pablo bay
Taco flavored Doritos
And my orange life vest
Dad caught a hundred pound sturgeon
On twenty-pound test
Now he fought that fish for an hour
And a half
Darrell'd say "Jump ya sons a bitch!"
And he grabbed for the gaff
When we got him in the boat
He measured six feet long
I was so danged impressed I had
To write a song called
Fish on
T'was a bright and sunny day
It was me and Todd Huth
Fishin' shark & Stingray
Out of Bohuas Lagoon
Well hey, hey, hey I'll be screwed,
Blued and tatooed
Looks like I got me one of them fish on
Fish on.
Shut up you bastards!
Produced by Primus
A&R Direction: Tom Whalley
Engineered by Ron Regler
Second Engineers - Dave Luke, Nancy Schartau, Drew Walters
Recorded at Fantasy "D" Studio, Berkeley, LA January '91
Mixed at Differnent Fur-SF, and the Plant-Sausalito, CA
Mastered by Chris Bellman at Bernie Grundman Studios, Hollywood, CA
Sculputres by Lance "Link" Montoya-airbrushes by Snap
Ship by Mitch Romananski
Chees coordinator and scenery by Mark Kohr
Jacket Designand Photography by Paul Haggard
Band Photo: Michael Lavine
Tim "Herb" Alexander - Drums, water jug
Larry LaLonde - Eletric Guitar, Six-String Banjo
Les Claypool - Electric Bass, String Bass, Six-String Fretless bass, Clarinet, and Vocals
Whistle - Trouz
Voice of Tommy the Cat - Tom Waits
Two-skinned foreskin Drum - Mike Bordin
Additional Fishermen - Adam Gates, Lance Link - Yo Ho!
Bastardos - Drums: Brain Mantia, Mike Bordin, Herb
Guitars: MIRV Haggard, Todd Huth, Derek Greenberg, Matt Winegar, Ler
Bass: Butthouse, Adam Gates, Les
Vocals: Adam Gates, Puffster, Herb, Ler, Les
All accordion molestation by Matt Winegar
All songs written and arranged by Primus, Lyrics by Claypool.
Guitar Melodies on Tommy the Cat and Sgt. Baker by Todd Huth.
Lyrics (c) 1991 Sturgeon Music. All Rights Reserved. Used without permission.
