Ok, so it's the closest i could to an official greeting to my Walton page. I figured since my school is so famous around the country, someone out there might be interested in reading what a student at Walton has to say about it, especially since 95% of the people who look at this page go to Walton and already know what i'm about to say. However, right now I'm bored and this was the only idea I could come up with of something to add to my page. Hopefully this page will be as honest a critique as my biased, spiteful opinion can manage.
First of all, let's start off with some of the better aspects of Walton:
1)
I don't have to worry about getting shot.
Sure, it sounds like a pathetic reason, but
let's face it, who can learn when you're worried about the bigger question
of life and death? Luckily all the "badasses" at Walton keep their
guns aimed at animals even more defenseless than I am, like squirrels trying
to cross the road before being run over by some stupid fuck in a suburban
assault vehicle.
2)
I can destroy brain cells by the thousands and still be ahead of 95% of
the student body.
Now, some of you might be saying "what a cocky
asshole! he sure thinks highly of himself to say something like that!"
You know what? The disturbing fact is, i don't think that highly
of myself at all. The people are my school are just really really
stupid. Now, granted, some of them are very booksmart, and booksmarts
will get you far enough in life to spend the rest of your life hanging
around people who are booksmart just like you are. As much fun as
that sounds like, I'd rather not be burdened by people who don't learn
for the sake of interest. I mean, half of the kids at Walton didn't
learn shit in high school, and outside of high school they learned a lot
and then forgot it all. I fear for the job market in 2003 when a
lot of us hit the real world, and even more for the job market in 2001
when the slower amongst us get out of their community colleges.
3) It's close to my house.
Yeah, i know that is a pretty pathetic reason
but i ran out of good things about school. I can leave to go to school
later than everybody else and still not get caught up in soccer mom traffic.
ALRIGHT!! We made it this far. Congrats kiddos, your reading skillls are exemplary. Now it's time to get to the things about Walton that aren't so good. Starting with...
1) THE PEOPLE
Ok, i know that is a rather broad statement.
And i know, none of you will believe that i hate every single person at
Walton. And it's true, i don't hate every single person at Walton.
But i do hate a lot of them =) When walking through the halls to
your classes gives you a headache, you know something is amiss. Or
at least i do (see good thing #2). I suppose what bothers me the
most is that all of these kids with such grand opportunities choose to
drink themselves to the point of fucking ignorance normally reserved for
comatose poodles. If these kids got any dumber, their use in society
would be reserved for those guys who are always passed out in bars in movies.
I think some of you reading this page might be wondering if i'm referring
to you. And if you have even question whether or not i'm referring
to you, odds are, yes I am. Although maybe not, as wondering about
my meanings would actually require a moment of genuine reflection, and
that requires a functioning brain, which many of you don't have the good
fortune to possess.
Hmm....As pathetic as some of you might find this, that is really the only big problem with Walton High School (except for the fact that i have to go there). All in all, if you got rid of about 2000 kids, it would be quite an interesting place. The teachers are excellent, except when they dumb down classes for the stupid people (refer to above). A lot of classes are offered, even though i often don't have time to take them all. Oh well, it certainly could be worse. I could be one of the morons i've been bitching about on this page, and wouldn't that royally suck? (yes it would)
**Disclaimer**
I didn't actually get permission to use that
graphic. I pretty much just took it from the Walton
Home Page . And none of the stuff I said on this page is really,
honestly true. Except for the part about the guns. And the
parts about all of the stupid people. And i really do live close
to school. Ok, maybe everything on this page is true. Shhh,
that's just between you and me.