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me!

I'll shove this toothbrush so far up your nose, that you'll be able to brush your teeth just by thinking about it!

--Brother Zimdars
 

  • Five things I look forward to in my life:

    • 1)salt 2)chicken 3)smokes 4)coffee 5)death 

    --Troy
     

  • Misc. quote heard out of context: "It wasn't my fault about the beer on the ceiling."


    • --Unidentified Source
     

  • I don't have enough upper body cofidence.


    • --Unidentified Source
     

  • Don't predict the future. It never happens that way anyway.


    • --Keith
     

  • The more you know, the more questions there are, which is what is so fascinating about life.


    • --Ben
     

  • People have to want the truth (to accept it) and that's the annoying thing. I don't want to wait for people to come to me, not when I'm bursting with stuff.


    • --Ben
     

  • A man comes to earth and teaches all these wonderful things and people worship the day that he died. If I was a prophet, and I was shot, I wouldn't want people carrying around pictures of me with a bullet wound in my head. He died for us? He died for our stupidity. What bullshit. He didn't WANT to die! Think of all the things he could've taught us if he'd lived...Why worship the day he died?!


    • --Ben
     

  • "...you didn't see the look on your face!"

    • "That's hard to do."

    --Cathy and Ben
     

  • "Remember why we didn't use stonefish as a band name?"

    • "Why?"
    "Cause we suck too bad to have a name like that."

    --Ben and Troy


    The following is from a conversation held at food service over dinner. While it may not make sense to the average person, those who were there KNOW. May the Sacred Flying Snake of Azgribinash live forever! (Participants: Troy, Ben, Dave, Cathy, Keith and Chris. I was there, just laughing too hard to say anything!)

    Keith: I feel a holy war coming on.

    Ben (to Dave): Did I just sense subversive angst from you a moment ago?

    Dave: I'd like to unite the houses.
    Ben:We cannot unite these houses. Yours is not mentioned in the scared word.
     

    Dave: Feast of the Mountain Scalper. We eat trees and shit.
    Ben: You disrespect the Da A La!
    Troy: You're all losers cause you have no ice cream.
    Dave: We better be careful or she's gonna die. The sacred scribe.
     

    Ben: Look at this joy!
    Dave: Lack of oxygen will make your followers spontaineously combust.
     

    Troy: Hey is this the holy word?
    Keith: It's a 3-way holy war. It's Yugoslavia, Ladies and Gentlemen!
     

    Dave: That's everyday. Swimming monkey's are everyday.
    Troy: I didn't even know monkey's could swim.
    ?:Of course they do, or they'd die.
    ?: How do they swim in the trees?
    ?: Not sacred swimming monkeys.
     

    Ben: The Flying Snake speaks through me.
     

    Ben: The Flying Snake is all that's good. They might die accidentally...If you wish not to have a cathater stuck in your penis the Flying Snake will prevent it.
    Dave: Tune in next week when the Snake will...maybe even perform a song onstage!
     

    Ben: If you're happy, its because of the Flying Snake. 
    Dave or Troy: We're happy because of the swimming monkeys.
     

    Dave or Troy: If he's so great, why'd he pick a snake--a worm-like form?
    Ben: He's not great. He's just really happy.
    Troy: I'm sure he could find a better form than a fucking flying snake.
    Ben: So what's the problem with the Flying Snake being a flying snake?
    Troy: You'd think he'd pick somthing more god-like.
    Ben: Have you ever seen a god? Maybe they're all flying snakes.
     

    Dave: Why do you look at me when you say 'Evil Gods'?
    Dominick: You gotta be smart to start a cult, man!
     

    Ben: Have you ever had sex with an owl?
    Troy: For pleasure or to reproduce?
    Ben: Either. It's a yes or no question.
    Troy: I'm trying to remember.
    Ben: If any one person has had sex with an owl, then I have.
    Troy: You've done a lot of shit in your life, then haven't you?
     

    Troy: I'm really the Flying Snake manifested in human form. You doubt me?!
    Cathy: *laughs*
    Dave: One of your followers is suffering.
    Ben: She's being tormented by evil coming through THIS man! (points to Chris)
    Dave: I used to be a Ren and Stimpyist.
    ?: I oppose Beavis and Buttheadism.
    Chris: Butthead spoke through me. Food is knowledge. Knowledge is stupidity.

    Troy: Do you still doubt me?
    Ben: You've blasphemed his holy name! You're a false prophet!
    Dave?: You're a false believer!
    Cathy: TST!
    Ben: Thank you.
    Cathy: No problem.
    Dave: Can you fill me in on what just happened here? (to Troy)
    Ben: Oh, the Flying Snake doesn't know!
    Troy: I'm your god. I never said I was smart.
    Dave: ...Mistress Cat of the oogaboogala religion...
    Troy: Betray me! Leave me, Ben!
    Dave: The apocolypse, man! Were you true, all goodness would disappear forever.
    Ben: Hypocrite! I am Ohemasbaskapopher!
    Dave: It's proof you can make up a stupid word.
    Ben: If you really wanted to know it would come to you.
    Dave: Its being written down by the holy scribe over here.
    Ben: *beltches* Oh, did you hear that? The Snake spoke through me. He's mad.
    Dave: My book is longer than yours...I was the false prophet, damnit.
     

    Troy: Any religion where you have to stick a pickle to you head is pretty screwed.
    Ben: Look! From the sky! Its a sign!
    Troy: It's a pickle.
    Ben: The Flying Snake has shit upon your tray. Can you believe it? Such miracles and they still doubt!

    All the above quotes (with the exception of Brother Zimdar's quote) have come from "The Little Red Notebook" kept by Cathy Bernardy. More quotes to follow soon! 
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