On July 13, 1999, my husband of 36 years, the man I shared
my
life and my love with, died. He was an exceptional person,
always
looking on the bright side and not dwelling on the past.
He was strong,
trustworthy, and caring. A person who was loved by
all who knew him. These
pages are about coping with this loss.
About being surrounded by people,
yet still alone.
I have found that "help" comes in many unsuspecting ways.
I was watching
Oprah one day and she reviewed a book called
RIVER CROSS MY HEART. This
book told a story of a girl
who lost her sister in a drowning accident.
Some of the comments
made by the books author, Breena Clarke, and the
other
panelists just reinforced some of the things I had already
been
finding out on my own. Breena Clarke said that the character
had been
constantly looking for her sister in other people. I know this
to be true.
I would always look for Dave in nature. In the sky and
the little
creatures of nature that we enjoyed watching together so much.
This
inspired the "SEARCHING" poem that I wrote. It is so true and it
helped me
greatly to put my feelings into words. One of the other
panelists said
that she had lost a sister years before and this book
helped her to
realize that she was not the only one who had lost her.
Others were
feeling her sister's loss too. I often have to remind myself
that Dave did
not "belong" to me alone and I am not the only one feeling
this loss. We
have four wonderful children and three in-law children
who also miss him.
He had a sister and two brothers and they and
their families feel this
loss too. His best friend Kenny still calls me
every couple of weeks just
to see if I need anything. They were very close.
One of the poems in these
pages was written by Dave's sister Mary.
They shared everything as
children, and as adults they remained the best of friends.
She wrote the
poem "MEMORIES OF YOU DAVE". This poem was the hardest
one for me to create a
page for because I saw Dave through someone
else's eyes. Someone who loves
him as much as I do. It made me
realize that I was not the only one
feeling the pain of his loss. But it
helped me at the same time to not
feel so alone in my pain.
You will notice that all of the poems I have written so far are written
to Dave
not about him. I don't know why this is. It's just the way
I think I guess.
You will also find that at the end of each page are the
lyrics to songs written
by Barry, Robin, and Maurice Gibb. As I said
earlier, I find that help
comes in unusual ways. The music of the Bee Gees
has special meaning
to me and I do find comfort in so many of their songs.
It is my hope that if any of you fine people who read these pages are also
looking for comfort from the loss of a loved one, looking for a way to
cope,
or looking for an understanding of what someone else who has lost a
love
is going through, you may find it here. It does help to know that
others are
going through the same feelings you are. You are not alone.
