1. “Ow, my feet are killing me,” I whine as I pull off my shoes after a 10-hour waitressing shift at Big House O’ Ribs. Your reply to my anguished complaint is:

a. “Yeah, and they stink, too. Take off your shoes in the other room.” b. “I’m sorry, hon. Maybe you should get a job where you won’t be on your feet all day.” c. “Well, come here and let me massage away your pain.”

2. If there’s a TV boyfriend/hubby you most try to emulate, it’s

a. Paul on Mad About You. b. Dawson on Dawson’s Creek. c. Michael on Melrose Place.

3. My article on SAT cheating made the front page of the school newspaper! Your reaction to this monumental coup is to

a. collect 20 copies for your own personal stash and tell every single person you know that your girlfriend is the school’s star journalist. b. pat me on the back and congratulate me that night while we’re poring over the research for the global economics paper that’s due next week. c. downplay the entire thing, out of embarrassment. You wouldn’t be caught dead reading that lowly rag, even if your girlfriend is a staff reporter.

4. You’re feeling a bit frisky, only I’m too stressed about tomorrow’s anthropology midterm, and I shoot down your kissy-face advances. You

a. pout and start complaining that I’m selfish and couldn’t care less about your needs. b. pull out the anthro textbook and offer to quiz me on the Pleistocene age while giving me a relaxing back rub. c. go play basketball with your boys instead.

5. Even though we are a couple, you can

a. still check out other girls. You may be in love, but you’re not blind—though looking is as far as it goes. b. fool around now and again—after all, we’re still young, and it’s not like we’re married or anything. c. never, ever even so much as cast a sideways glance at another girl. And if, in a moment of weakness, you do, you’ll come to me begging for forgiveness.

6. Okay, I’ll admit it, I have a tendency to be kind of opinionated, and I’m not shy about expressing myself. This is a quality that you

a. totally dig. Nothing’s sexier than an outspoken girl. b. tolerate. You wish I’d lighten up sometimes. c. really could do without. Brashness is so annoying.

7. I show up for the Sonic Youth concert feeling like a babe in a brand-new, supertight Chinese silk dress. You

a. stare at me, jaw on the floor, before exclaiming, “Wow! That dress is great. Is it new?” b. sneer and say, “You look like a waitress from Szechuan Palace.” c. stay quiet until we’re halfway to our seats, and when I break down and ask you what you think of my attire, you mutter, “It’s nice.”

8. How much time should we spend together?

a. Every possible waking moment. b. A lot, but not so much that we don’t have solo space or hang time with our respective friends. c. With basketball practice, weekend fishing trips with the guys and school, your schedule is packed, so together time will have to be short but sweet.

9. I just got a cool summer internship; only prob is, it’s in London—and you’re not. I’m trying to decide whether to go. You

a. tell me that you’re not sure you’ll be able to remain faithful if I’m gone for the entire summer. b. wail, “What about me?” and after a few days of sulking finally admit that it’s a cool opportunity. c. buy me a copy of the Rough Guide to London and a package of airmail letters, and promise to call at least once a week.

10. After months of weight-training classes, I can bench-press 150 pounds. Your maximum is 130. You

a. start making snide comments about how “bulky” my arms are getting. b. go to the gym obsessively until you’re benching 160. c. compliment me on my achievement, then sweetly ask me to carry your books to class.

11. Next week is my birthday. What do you have planned?

a. You’ve already bought me a silky robe, made dinner reservations at my favorite restaurant and asked your mom for an easy cake recipe. b. Uh, nothing. You thought my birthday was in, like, three months. c. You’ll go shopping this weekend for a gift and then just go along with whatever I’ve planned for the day.

12. We were supposed to go to see The Object of My Affection on Saturday night, but you (oops!) fell asleep and I was left waiting for you at the Cineplex. Come Sunday morning, I’m majorly ticked off and yelling at you even after you’ve apologized. You

a. call me a witch and stalk off. b. stay calm and point out that you already said you were sorry and could I please just chill and kiss you already. c. drop to the floor and beg for my forgiveness, crying that you’ll never, ever do it again.

13. Achoo! I’m really sick (hack!) and stuck in bed battling a cold. You

a. never leave my side, refill my teacup before it’s empty and ask if I’m okay every 10 minutes. b. stay far away. You have a gig next week and you can’t sing with a cold. c. stop by in the morning to bring me some soup, OJ and a pile of Molly Ringwald videos, and to plant a kiss on my forehead.

14. I have tons of guy friends, including my best bud, Tom, who happens to be rather hunky. This makes you feel

a. a little uncomfortable. You can’t help wondering what Tom and I are up to when we hang out till all hours. b. glad that I have such a cool group of friends. c. pissed off. Why do I need to hang out with other guys when I have you?