Desolation Town

Far, far away in the North of England, tucked neatly amongst the Yorkshire moors, there lies a mythical city. The Norse know it as Valhalla, the Buddhists as Nirvana, but Terrorvision call it 'home'. All decent hi-fis point to this musical mecca. I am talking, of course, about Bradford.

Sadly I have never been blessed enough to visit this dwelling of the immortals, unlike my mate who goes to Uni there, but I take comfort in the fact that, should I ever be chosen by the gods to ascend through its pearly gates, I will be able to get my bearings in the flick of a lamb's tale, courtesy of the arcane map which miraculously appeared beneath my letterbox one morning last year. It was obviously a message from the heavens. I mean, it's not as if I'd just scan it without permission from an old copy of Northern Scum, is it? Of course not! So here, for your own pleasure, is the indispensable guide to Terrorvision's Bradford, noting all the best places to eat and drink and listen to music and drink and go out and drink and shop and drink. There may even be a couple of pubs in it somewhere...

The Key
1) Art College - where Leigh and Shutty met.
2) Wheatsheaf - once a rock club where Tony spun some tracks on wax.
3) Frog and Toad - legendary rock club which was pulled down and turned into a roundabout by the council....boo hiss!
4) Rio's - Bradford's only remaining rock club and gig venue.
5) Underworld - not really a rock club but it's open 'til 3am for that extra little drinky or two!
6) Queen's Hall - was once the best gig venue in the area and saw more than a few Spoilt Bratz gigs too. Its all been done out now but is still not a bad boozer.
7) St. George's Hall - This venue has seen the likes of every rock legend going, from Sabbath to Motorhead - all kneel and praise Lemmy!
8) University - The other major gig venue in Bradford, one of the places to see bands before they make it big - anyone remember Faith No More and Nirvavna way back then?
9) Westleigh Hotel - The Terrors and their crew can usually be found propping up the bar in here along with other notable band types.
10) Tony's Old House - erm....Tony's old house and the inspiration for the 'Dirkhill Road' mix [of 'My House'].
11) Italia Cafe - as featured in the 'Fired Up and Lairy' video, also does a mean breakfast if you're up early enough!
12) Shabina - cheap curry at cheap prices and it tastes good too, an essential part of Bradford nightlife.
13) Rocks Off - probably the most legendary record shop in Bradford, loads of Terrorvision connections going back years as well as a stock of TV goodies.
14) NMPF&T - one of Bradford's major attractions, have a go on the magic carpet....pissed!
15) Town Hall - has an ace open area out front, they call it Centenary Square but we all know it's a skate park!

So there you go - now you'll never get lost in Bradford. Cheers to Terrorvision and Northern Scum for letting me use this article (or rather, for not suing me yet).