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"Jessy, Jessy wake up. Jessy honey it's okay." Zac said holding her tight to stop her thrashing. "Oh Zac" she cried. "It's okay hun ssshh It's okay." he said as he slowly rocked her in his arms. "What a lousy dream." she finally whimpered, adding, "Zac my life's falling apart. I haven't passed out or had a bad dream in years and now, look at me." "Jessy after the day you've had what do you expect. Give yourself a break hun. To have someone you trust turn on you the way he did. I don't think I could handle it." Zac said. "I'm an old pro at this. Howard makes Tony look like a good guy. Talk about someone you trust. Ha ha ha." Jessy said sarcastically. "Who's Howard? I don't remember you talking abou him." Zac said. "We talked about him the other night Zac. When we all decided we were getting married, remember? You know when Daddy said all of you girls have father, I said no mine sold me and all that crap. Remember? That was Howard I was talking about. We never called him anything but Howard, not Dad, Daddy, Father, he wouldn't answer to that, only Howard. He insisted we call him that, he knew what kind of Dad he'd make so he never took the title." Jessy said. "Your own father turned on you?" Zac asked. "Tony's a light weight compared to Howard. I'll never forget the day he told me he didn't like, he hated me. The things he said to and about me I'll never forget. You're right, my father, how dare he abuse the trust of a child. There's times Momma lectures me on my attitude about him, I want to smack her face off. But then I remember the day I chose to keep it inside instead of telling her everything, and I can't blame her, she doesn't know because I chose not to destroy her more. It just kills me when she says don't hate him. He is pure hatred, why not hate him? Oh don't even go there. I'm tired of hearing hatred only hurts me. Yeah it does, he is pure hatred and he went after me. Hate hurts, yeah tell me about it." Jessy said shaking her head. "Oh just thinking about him makes me sick to my stomach." Jessy said grabbing her stomach. She jumped from bed, headed to the closet, picking out a shirt and pulling it on, buttoning it and rolling the sleeves up. She headed out the door before Zac could make his way from bed. "Jessy wait baby." he called. By the time he made his way downstairs, he found signs of her having been in the kitchen, and the back door opened to the screen. On the porch sat a glass of milk, "Jessy?" Zac said quietly. "Hun where are you?" he said louder. "What Zac?" she said coming from the backyard with a cat in her arms. "Jessy you scared me." he said. "Sorry Zac, I, I" she couldn'f find words and just shook her head again as she grabbed her glass of milk, poured out some for the cat in a dish by the steps. "There Mr. Puddy Tat. Like I promised." she said putting him down as Zac wrapped his arms around her. "Zac I can't talk about it anymore right now, It hurts too much. Can you try and understand that?" she said pulling away from his arms, heading to the back yard. "Jessy stop running from me. It just hurts that you don't turn to me. Let me help you. Don't turn away from me." Zac pleaded stopping her in her tracks. Jessy turned to see the fear in Zacs face and she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Hold me Zac. I need you so." she confessed. "I'm here for you Jessy. Always." he said holding her tight. "I know that Zac honest I do. I wasn't running from you, don't think that Zac. It wasn't you, it was the past and Tony just brought it all up again. Zac I may never work my way through the Howard in my life. To survive he goes on a shelf in the back of my mind to wait for the day I can deal with it. It wasn't at 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 so it goes back on the shelf for the next thing that brings it all back once again and I pray I'll be able to handle it then, but Zac I've accepted that I may never be able to deal with the pain he caused. So be it." Jessy said holding him tighter. "Jessy I love you. Let me help. Just put it away and come back to me." Zac said holding her tighter and tighter. She finally released her grip and smiled, "I'm baaa-ack." she teased, smiling at him, pressing her lips to his, kissing him long and hard. "Jessy I want you so bad." Zac moaned his hand caressing her butt as he rubbed up and down against her. "I know baby, but we can't, not yet. You won't let us. And I think right now you would, just to try and please me so Zac, right now I won't let us." Jessy said holding him as he moaned, "Oh Jessy is this how you feel when I tell you no, we have to wait. I just ache so." Zac said. "Yeah that's the feeling of Zac telling me no, let's wait for our wedding night. It will get better as I hold you. Trust me, I've survived it." Jessy said. "Yeah you did time and time again." Zac said. "And time and time again." Jessy teased. "And time and time again." Zac laughed. "And again, and again, and again. I've wanted you for so long and all you say is marry me hun or you don't get none." Jessy teased and they both laughed. "I love you so much Jessy." Zac proclaimed. "Oh no here we go again." Jessy said as they headed back into the house arm in arm. She picked up her glass as Zac opened the door for her and she checked out the cupboards, frig and freezer for what to make for breakfast. They put together a breakfast caserole and set it in the frig to set before baking before they made their way back upstairs. "Jessy?" Zac asked. "What hun?" she replied turning to him as he unbuttoned the shirt slipping it off her shoulders then pushing his boxers to the floor as he gently picked her up and placed her on the bed and crawled in next to her, holding her close. They drifted back to sleep in each other's arms.
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