Rock and Roll Wisdom

Answers to All Those Whimsical Questions

How do I know anything really exists?
-Kick it *really* hard.

What is the essence of being human?
-Not understanding the opposite sex.

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
-Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.

How do I know I'm not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life?
-Look in the mirror. If you see a gray, spongy thing in a glass container, you are.

Can our minds exist seperately from our bodies?
-If they could, we'd just send our minds to class and sleep in every morning.

Is there a God?
-A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

What is the nature of Knowledge?
-I'm still trying to figure out the nature of *college*.

What is the meaning of life?
-All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.

Why get a Philosophy degree?
-It's more respectable than a theater degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso.