This is true without exception. Everything that you think is true isn't. I'd like to illustrate this point with the movie The Wizard of Oz. This was the first movie I saw as a kid, so it has a special significance to me.
That is, if I can be cynical about Oz, I can be cynical about everything.
So this is Oz the way I see it. None of that goody-goody shit from the 30's. This is the web version of Baby's First Pop-Up Book... hold the mouse over an image and you'll see what it really is. It will really open your eyes.
First of all, Dorothy was a slut.
There was no dog. The whole reason Elvira got pissed at Dorothy was that she was banging Elvira's husband, along with every other guy in town.
The tornado? That was merely a sexual encounter that screwed with Dorothy's mind. It left her hallucinating. Wasn't that the point of the whole movie? That she hallucinated the whole thing?
OK, let's move on to Oz.
After she landed in Oz, remember how the door was glowing underneath? What was that about? Why is gold always an indication of good? It's just a nordic stereotype. If I saw something glowing under a door, I'd think fire.
Then there were the munchkins. It was obvious that Glinda had enslaved them for her own purposes. She isolated them from the general public, like an internment camp.
The Scarecrow. Well, obviously Dorothy was hooking up with him.
Now, let's talk about the wizard himself....
The whole broomstick thing? That doesn't fool me at all. I suppose you can guess what the broomstick symbolized.....
Lastly, that whole "no place like home" thing never happened. They never made it that far. Unfortunately, the lion ate the whole bunch of them before that could happen.
Are you convinced?
You probably just think I'm crazy. Well, that may be true, but I'm also occasionally right. Just think about it.
Fly back to see stickmen die:
