The ugly truth just loves to give it away

Lala's Happy Cheery World of Dreamy Fun-Fun

Hewwo, you cutie-patootie chubby baby! *pinches cheek*
I have a suh-pwize for you, sugar pie.

This is real life.

Stop disillusioning yourself into thinking the skies are always blue and the grass is always green. It's not.

Optimists make little sense to me. Right now, you're sitting in a comfortable chair, facing an expensive piece of machinery that very few are lucky enough to even see in their lives.

So shut the hell up and face the music.

If those little words scared you,
maybe you should go back to Grandma

Woman sues over doughnuts' shape

Nashua, N.H. (AP) -- A woman who brought breakfast to some coworkers is suing a doughnut shop, claiming her box of goodies contained about a dozen shaped to look like male genetalia.

"I was very embarrassed. There was no doubt about what it was," Sandra McRae said.

She filed a lawsuit Nov. 3 against Merrimack Donuts Inc., the owner of the Dunkin' Donuts shop, seeking unspecified damages for negligence and emotional distress.

McRae, 55, was a customer service representative for Oxford Health Care, in Nashua, when she bought the fried doughnut holes in January 1996 for a group of temporary workers on their last day on the job.

"I just thought it would be a nice gesture," she said last week. "I was just doing it to say goodbye to the girls."

Peering up at them were a bunch of Munchkins shaped to form "a male sexual organ, complete with testes," McRae said. Kemper Insurance Co., which is defending Merrimack Donuts, wouldn't comment.

McRae, calling Dunkin' Donuts "a family-type place," is still shaken by the incident.

"Dunkin' Donuts is not a place where you'd expect that," she said. "I wouldn't want my grandchildren getting a hold of them."

Gimme a piece of your mind!