The song parodies on this page were all featured as Song Parody of the Month during the year of 1997.

A little ditty to the tune of "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
I have been waiting for centuries to find a way to parodize "Sugar." Hope this is no disappointment. Also, you can visualize any Little Mister Innocent you wish. No holds bar. :-)
written: 5/29/97
featured: July 1997

"Pour Your Body On Me"

Come inside, walk my way
You and me, babe, hell yeah

Lust is like a bomb, baby, come 'n' turn me on
Living like a lover with a microphone
Looking like a band, buncha lovable men
Crazy British band, can I be a fan
Your fan

Razzle and a-dazzle and flash all your lights
Singing li'l songs about rocking all night
Sometime, anytime, rock with me
Little Mister Innocent, come to me
Yeah, yeah

C'mon, take your body, shake it up
Break the buttons, break it open

Pour your body on me, ooh, in the name of lust
Pour your body on me, c'mon turn me on
Pour that body on me, I can't get enough
I'm hot, all sweaty, from my head to my feet, yeah

Listen
Red light, yellow light, green a-light go
Crazy li'l band on the late night show
Group of Brits, got me lit, crooners of love
Sweet dreams, made of cream, come to me
Come to me, come to me

You gotta tease a little, tease a little, now please li'l more
Won't mind if all five were knocking at my door
Sometime, anytime, rock with me
Little Mister Innocent, come to me
Yeah, yeah
Just a little more

Take your body, shake it up
Break the buttons, break it open

Pour your body on me, ooh, in the name of lust
Pour your body on me, c'mon turn me on
Pour that body on me, oh, I can't get enough
I'm hot, all sweaty, from my head to my feet, yeah

I got the peaches, you got the cream
Sweet to taste your body
'Cause I'm hot, oh so hot, all sweaty
From my head, to my feet

Do you take this body, one night or two?

Take your body, take that body
Shake it up, shake it up
Break the buttons, break it open, break it open

Pour your body on me, ooh, in the name of lust
Pour your body on me, c'mon turn me on
Pour that body on me, oh, I can't get enough
Pour your body on me, ooh, in the name of lust
Pour your body on me, get it, come get it
Pour that body on me, oooooh
Pour your body on me, yeah
Rock with me

parody of "Photograph"
I shouldn't have gone there, but I did. Joe said he wanted to be in one.
*insert innocent shrug here*
written: 5/27/97
featured: August 1997

"Pornoflick"

I'm outta a job, outta a home
Gotta make some cash, make it now
And have a little fun, this is too much
What I'm good at is just a little touch
I fantasize twenty-four/seven
And I can be a little piece of heaven
Porno Queen, come here to me
The job I want, my fantasy, yeah

Oh, look what you've done to this horny li'l clown
Oh, look what you've done

Pornoflick - gotta be in a
Pornoflick - have to be in a
Pornoflick
Get a job in a pornoflick
Should be enough

I'll be the lover, if the pay is fair
Put yourself on me, if you dare
Such a woman, you got style
You make me feel like a silly child oh
Porno Queen, got a hold on to me
No longer wrapped up in this misery
Porno Queen, come here to me
The job I got, my fantasy, yeah

Oh, look what you've done to this horny li'l clown
Oh, look what you've done

I wanna do you

Pornoflick - gotta be in a
Pornoflick - have to be in a
Pornoflick
Got a job in a pornoflick
You gone straight to my . . . head

Oh, look what you've done to this horny li'l clown
Oh look what you've done, I wanna do you

Pornoflick - gotta be in a
Pornoflick - have to be in a
Pornoflick
Get a job in a pornoflick
I wanna do you

Pornoflick
Pornoflick - job in a
Pornoflick
Pornoflick - got to be in a
Pornoflick - I'm not a putz
Pornoflick - But you're a slut
Pornoflick - not the only one
Pornoflick - I wanna do . . .

This is a shout-out to all of those people who CAN cook (unlike this psycho who sets water on fire and just spoils milk when it thinks she's gonna attempt a dish). Bon Appetite!
written: 8/12/97
featured: September 1997

"Cook Food Like A Chef"

Cook food like a chef
I'm a chef, that's what I am
Uh, c'mon

All your kids 'round the world
Looking for a chef who's a real food cooker, yeah
Every chef, grab a grill
Cook like a chef, make 'em feel lot better
Yeah, everybody

You want it, I'm the one
I'll cook it, you'll love it all
You'll eat it, gonna kiss the cook, yeah
Come get it, it's dinner time kids
C'mon

Don't call me just a cook
Don't call me Kitchen Master
Just call out your order and I'll cook it up faster
When you need someone, when you need someone to

Cook food like a chef
I'm a chef, that's what I am yeah
Cook food like a chef
Your kinda chef, that's what I am

Oh every day, every night
Cook the food till it tastes a little sweeter
Yeah, oh, c'mon
Do it good, do it right
Crazy li'l kids gonna stutter 'n' stammer, stammer
Woah, yeah

Don't call me just a cook
Don't call me Kitchen Master
Just call out your order and I'll cook it up faster
When you need someone, when you need someone to

Cook food like a chef
I'm a chef, that's what I am yeah
Cook food like a chef
Your kinda chef, that's what I am, uh

Gimme some casserole
Little bit of Spaghetti-O's
It's gotta be with garlic rolls
Dessert's gotta be Oreos

A little bit of spice goes a long, long way
Gotta cook it now if you really wanna serve it
Never ever wait, it'll be too late
You'll burn the food and it won't smell any better

You want it, yeah baby
I'll cook it, why not
You'll eat it, oh, oh
Come get it, oh, c'mon

Don't call me just a cook
Don't call me Kitchen Master
Just call out your order and I'll cook it up faster
When you need someone, when you need someone
When you need someone to

Cook food like a chef
I'm a chef, that's what I am yeah
Cook food like a chef
Your kinda chef, that's what I am

Cook food, cook food, like a chef, like a chef
I'm a chef, I'm a chef, that's what I am baby
Cook food, cook food, like a chef, like a chef
I'm a chef, I'm a chef, that's what I am
Hey get it while it's hot, cook food
I wanna be your chef, like a chef
Critics understand, I'm a chef
I'm a ch-ch-chef
Cook food, cook food, like a chef, like a chef
Your kinda of chef
Have it cooked by a chef
It'll taste lot better
And that's a fact

I couldn't help it .... I just can't wait for the new album to come out ... so I wrote a parody regarding the topic!
a parody on "When Saturday Comes"
written: 8/16/97
featured: October 1997

"When The New Album Comes"

Fill us in, and see what we can do for you
We're your fans, we'll do anything you want us to
We beg that it's not another four long years
Just give us a date, and we'll come running like a marathon

You guys rock us so many ways
Who cares what the critics say?

When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
You gotta clutch your cash in your fist
When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
The fans will buy it up
You can't let us down, there's no way in hell

Sweat and blood, we know you give us all of this
Pain and pride, there's no such thing as second best
Clock strikes three, it's time to write a ballad
D'you want us to beg?
It's a feeling that we really know

You gotta fight 'em tooth and nail
Out here on this battlefield

When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
You gotta clutch your cash in your fist
When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
The fans will buy it up
You can't let us down, there's no way in hell

You guys rock us so many ways
Who cares what the critics say?

When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
You gotta clutch your cash in your fist
When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
You gotta clutch your cash, gotta clutch your cash
When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
You gotta clutch your cash in your fist
When the new album comes
Nothing else matters to us
When the new album comes
You gotta clutch your cash, clutch your cash

There's a disclaimer on this one: I have no clue if any of this is right ... I was bit by the bug of silliness and that's where all this stuff comes from. I don't think any of this puts him in a bad light, after all, he's such a sweetie. Sorry for any mental scarring or anguish this might cause!
a parody on "Heaven Is"
written: 9/28/97
featured: November 1997

"Malvin Is"

Hey boys, Stumpus Maximus' back
No hair on his head or any of that
The tour dude, not just a straight face
Malvin is the man, he's all that
Takes a good mind to keep up with the band
And no one can do it like da man

He says, "Hey boys, gotta get outta bed"
"We gotta go, got a show in ten"
Better watch out when Stumps' on the go

Malvin is the guy we love so well
He makes sure the guys know where to go
Malvin is the guy that absolutely rules
And he keeps good tabs on those singing fools

Hey guys, this man is in charge
No guide books, his job is rather hard
On the road or just at home
Malvin's on the go and on the phone

He says, "Hey boys, gotta get outta bed"
"We gotta go, got a show in ten"
Better watch out when Stumps' on the go

Malvin is the guy we love so well
He makes sure the guys know where to go
Malvin is the guy that absolutely rules
And he keeps good tabs on those singing fools
Malvin is the one who's a real good friend
And no one's better than Stumpus is, no

Taking breaks while the lads are on stage
Malvin needs every single one

He says, "Hey boys, gotta get outta bed"
"We gotta go, got a show in ten"
Better watch out when Stumps' on the go

Malvin is the guy we love so well
He makes sure the guys know where to go
Malvin is the guy that absolutely rules
And he keeps good tabs on those singing fools
Malvin is the one who's a real good friend
And no one's better than Stumpus is, no

Malvin is a guy we love so well
And he keeps good tabs on those singing fools
Malvin is the one who's a real good friend
And no one's better than Stumpus is, no
All that stuff he's gotta do

"Shop! Shop! (Till You Drop)"

Hold on to your Visa, grab your Mastercard
Ready, get set, to tear this place apart
Don't need a reason, only place in town
Having a store-wide sale, everything's gotta go
Everything goes, everything goes

Clearance to the left, clearance to the right
Thank God this store's open until nine
So grab a few shirts, and come along this way
'Cause what the hell will the cashiers say anyway?
Everything goes, that's right, c'mon, everything goes

I said shop! shop! till you drop
Shop! shop! never stop
Shop! shop! till you drop
I said shop! shop! to the top

Shopping till the evening, laughing all the way
Make a solid killing, shopping for today
Gotta love clearance, get it while you can
Shirts, skirts, and slacks on sale, hot damn
Everything goes, oh, everything goes, all day long!

I said shop! shop! till you drop
Come on shop! shop! never stop
You gotta shop! shop! till you drop
Oh, shop! shop! to the top

Oh yeah, the sales!

Shop! shop! give it to me
It's what I got to be doin'
Don't ever stop, oh, gotta shop
Shop! shop! gonna till we drop

Oh yeah, here we go

Shop! shop! till you drop
Oh shop! shop! never stop
Come on and shop! shop! till you drop
We gonna shop! and shop! till we drop
Gonna take you to the top

Shop! shop! till you drop, yeah!
Shop! shop! never stop
Come on, come on, come on

Oh my, neck ties, all right
We're gonna shop tonight
Too right
Too cool man, too cool