warning - this song lusts after Joe. But trust me, Sav, Phil, Viv, and Rick fit in just as well. Do what you will, but don't make a mess!!!

a parody on "Slang" with all do respect
written: 9/12/96
featured: previously posted

"Lust"

Sitting back
Getting hot
'Cause he said something lewd
In a low down accent
Yeah yeah yeah
Gotta love those guys
I wanna get down honey
Come be my guy

Unzip and slip
And let it loose
Babe count me in
'Cause all I ever wanna get is Joe
all right

Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
Sleep with me, just get me all soaking wet
Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
'Cause all I ever wanna get is Joe

What's affecting my condition
Is that loverboy on the stage
Said ready 'n' waiting, goddamn
I'd love to get connected
Is that really the size of your hands?

Unzip and slip
And let it loose
Babe count me in
'Cause all I ever wanna get is Joe

Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
Sleep with me, just get me all soaking wet
Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
'Cause all I ever wanna get is Joe

It's my intention to be his obsession
It's my obsession to be his addiction

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro
(times a night!?!)

Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
Sleep with me, just get me all soaking wet
Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
'Cause all I ever wanna get is . . .
Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
Sleep with me, just get me all soaking wet
Sleep with me, Joe, I wanna get my hands dirty
'Cause all I ever wanna get is Joe

A parody on "When Love and Hate Collide"
written: 10/2/96
featured: previously posted

"When the Sun and Earth Collide"

You shouldn't've changed the course
But you had to change the line
You just had to slam down the red button
For the very first time
I gotta gun to your head
But which button do I hit
After you pressed the damn switch
Ahh, bloody hell with it

Got no time, got no chance, won't make it
Got my hands around your neck, gonna break it
All I know is that we're all gonna die

You shouldn't have changed the course
But you just had to try
You're definitely crazy baby
Time after time

Thanks to you
We're colliding into the sun
No longer in a steady revolution
You just thought it would be fun
Thanks to you
Can't stop the hurt outside
When the Sun and Earth collide

I don't wanna fight anymore
What are we fighting for
'Cause after you pressed that button
You sent us knocking on Death's door
I could tell a million lies
To the news cameras outside
But why try to hide away
When we're all just gonna die

No time, or a place, or a reason
Not even a shelter to hide away in
All I know is
That we're all outta time

Thanks to you
We're colliding into the sun
No longer in a steady revolution
You just thought it would be fun
Thanks to you
Can't stop the hurt outside
When the Sun and Earth collide

You shouldn't have changed the course
But you just had to try
You're definitely crazy baby
Crazy, crazy

Thanks to you
We're colliding into the sun
No longer in a steady revolution
You just thought it would be fun
Thanks to you
We're colliding into the sun
You just thought it would be fun
If you have a brain at all
Thanks to you
Can't stop the hurt outside
When the Sun and Earth collide

a loving parody on "Let's Get Rocked"
written: 10/2/96
featured: previously posted

"Let's Get Drunk"

Do you wanna get drunk?
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk

I'm your average ordinary everyday teen
Happy to get blasted
In fact that's all I did
I got a million ways to mix a drink
But the law does not agree
'Cause when I go and party
The cops gotta say to me
"Get your butt outta that tub"
Hey, I was hiding out here
"Duck you head and get in that car"
Tenth time this week
They say "You're underage" - so what
"Go to school" - whatever
"Sober up and get a life" - bite me
"Tidy up your life" - get real
Sorry guys, gotta disappear
Let's get the beer outta here

Sevenday hangover, drunk all night
Head in a toilet, flushed all right
Won't take a minute, won't take that long
Dunk your head right in it
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Let's get it illegally
Just with a fake I.D.
C'mon, let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk

I'm your average typical buzzing boozer
With my girl screaming constantly that I'm a loser
My babe is screaming at me to sober up
But I'm so liquored I tell her she's cute
But what she said ain't, You're cute too
And then violently, I got the boot

It was: Out you loser! Jerk! Drunkard!
It makes me want to scream
Don't forget: Lazy, scumy little bastard!
Sorry love, that ain't my scene
I'm sorry, babe, I have a small confession
I suppose a Jack D's outta the question?

Sevenday hangover, drunk all night
Head in a toilet, flushed all right
Won't take a minute, won't take that long
Dunk your head right in it
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Let's get it illegally
Just with a fake I.D.
C'mon, let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk

All I wanna do is to drink a booze or two
But everytime I need to
I get stuck inside my room
Heaven knows I'm tired of cough syrup and Doom

I feel lucky today
Hey look at that keg
Do you wanna get drunk?
Do you wanna get drunk?

Ohh, won't take a minute, won't take that long
Dunk your head right in it
Oh, c'mon, everybody

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Get the cash baby
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Do you wanna, do you wanna?
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Pop the top of it
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Love to drink Jim Bean baby
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk

Let's go all the way
Get drunk night'n'day
Let's get out and play
Drink the night away
Come on, let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get drunk
Do you wanna get drunk?

This is for the ORIGINAL "Rocket" ... I don't do remixes!
written: 10/28/96
featured: previously posted

"Chuck It"

Llems taht stahw dog raed ho. . .

Strange smells, weird growths, something slithering down below
Midnight, gurgling sounds, crazy to be near this sess pool
Molding food, aging garbage, massing into something lifelike
Icky, sticky, grabbing at ankles
Take a step, we're just gonna sink

I can take you through the center of the bog
We're gonna sink
On a trip to the messiest room in the whole wide world
You gotta help me, you gotta help me, help me

Chuck it, yeah
Throw away that junk
Chuck it, yeah
Clean this messy room
Chuck it, yeah
Throw away that junk
Chuck it, baby, c'mon
Gotta get this room all cleaned up

Search light, knee-high boots, going in with a laser gun

Shot gun, armor, load up, kill

Pitch black, got lost, sinking fast, killer disease
Dizzy, nauseous, getting sick
So c'mon, we just better run

I can take you through the center of the bog
We're gonna sink
On a trip to the messiest room in the whole wide world
You gotta help me, you gotta help me, help me

Chuck it, yeah
Throw away that junk
Chuck it, yeah
Clean this messy room
Chuck it, yeah
Throw away that junk
Chuck it, baby, c'mon
We gotta try

We just gotta try
I can take you through the center of the bog
We're gonna sink
On a trip to the messiest room in the whole wide world
You gotta help me, you gotta help me, help me

Chuck it, yeah
Throw away that junk
Chuck it, yeah
Clean this messy room
Chuck it, yeah
Throw away that junk

Shot gun, armor, fumigate

We gotta try
Chuck it, yeah
Throw away that junk
We gotta try
Chuck it, yeah
Clean this messy room
Chuck it, yeah

I need a life. This is a weird parody on "All I Want Is Everything"
Forgive me for any disrespect.
written: 10/29/96
featured: previously posted

"All I Want Is Burger King"

I don't know how to wake you
And I can't let you just sleep
I've got a hunger I can't ignore
It's a hunger that I have to feed

The girl behind this waddle
Is the woman carrying your baby
This candy bar isn't doing the job
But a Whopper is a maybe

All I want is Burger King
Am I asking too much?
All I want is Burger King
Do you get the hunch?
All I have are Milky Ways
But I gotta have a lunch

It's hard to keep looking down
When you can't see your feet
So you gotta do the driving
Since my stomach is like a beach
And if you could feel what this kid's
Doing to me
A Whopper and fries would look so good now
I'm so hungry, baby, can't you see?

All I want is Burger King
Am I asking too much?
All I want is Burger King
Do you get the hunch?
All I have are Milky Ways
But I gotta have a lunch

You think the shadow of pain
Is hiding in my eyes
It's just a craving for hot onion rings
And it's our kid that demands
To have food in my hands
Gave you my order, now you had better run!

All I want is Burger King
Am I asking too much?
All I want is Burger King
Do you get the hunch?
All I have are Milky Ways
But I gotta have a lunch

oooohhhh, food
ooohhhh, food . . .

Parody on "The Flame"
I couldn't help it, it was TOO tempting!
written: 6/4/97
featured: previously posted

"(Can't Keep Away From) The Fridge"

Lonely, lonely, lonely hour
Midnight or maybe one
I'll just check what's in the fridge
Cook up something till it's done

I don't want to eat this food in vain
I'm gonna keep on coming back again

Hunger leads a full grown child
Downstairs to the kitchen
Like a ray of sunshine
Food comes, good spot it's hittin'

I don't want to eat this food in vain
I'm gonna keep on coming back again

'Cause when I see it frying
Encourages a tasty binge
Oh there's no denying
I can't keep away from the fridge

A thousand Indian fry breads
Waste away in my fridge
The moon and robbers shadows
Can't keep me from a midnight binge

I don't want to eat this food in vain
I'm gonna keep on coming back again

'Cause when I see it frying
Encourages a tasty binge
Oh there's no denying
I can't keep away from the fridge

I don't want to eat this food in vain
I'm gonna keep on coming back again

'Cause when I see it frying
Encourages a tasty binge
Oh there's no denying
I can't keep away from the fridge

A parody on "Deliver Me," and it goes something like this ...
written: 6/4/97
featured: previously posted

"Delivery"

I'm tired of feeling hungry
I'm tired and I gotta eat
So tired I would be grateful
If you'd send pizza via delivery

That's me, digging my nails in
That's me with the clenched dough
'Scuse me but I don't remember
Where were you thirty minutes ago?

And I'm tired of this guy
As he stares in my eyes
And I wait for my food
What a big baboon
And he laughs in my face
As I beg for my food
Smell the sauce on his breath
As I plan his death

I close my eyes
Pay the bill
Delivery

Hey you, pizza delivery
Hey you, are you listening to me
It's you that I can't depend on
I don't buy what I can't eat
Say bye bye to your license baby!

And I'm tired of this guy
As he stares in my eyes
And I wait for my food
What a big baboon
And he laughs in my face
As I beg for my food
Smell the sauce on his breath
As I plan his death

And I'm tired of this guy
As he stares in my eyes
And I wait for my food
He's sucha big baboon
And he laughs in my face
As I beg for my food
Smell the sauce on his breath
As I plan his death

I close my eyes
Pay the bill
Delivery

Hide the food
That he might eat
Delivery

a sweet li'l parody on "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad?"
written: 6/17/97
featured: previously posted

"Have You Ever Needed Smoking So Bad?"

Here I am, no cigarette break again
It's a fight I just can't win
There they are puffing away again, yeah
And they know I can't join in
Oh, c'mon!

Why save your Camels for a rainy day
C'mon boss, let me have that damn break

Have you ever needed smoking so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted a Marlboro you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard that your lighter fell apart
Have you ever needed smoking so bad
A note to the boss, I had to go, I had to smoke, baby, yeah

Now, c'mon
There you go, promising you'll be back in ten, yeah
But promises only go so far
You gotta go further, longer everyday, boss
But my restraint won't last that long
I gotta smoke

Why save your Camels for a rainy day
C'mon boss, let me have that damn break

Have you ever needed smoking so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted a Marlboro you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard that your lighter fell apart
Have you ever needed smoking so bad

Every time I smoke is like
Some kind of stressless venture babe
To give me such a release
It could just be an excuse
And if my time suddenly comes
I'll end up smoking more than one
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta smoke a cig or two

Have you ever needed smoking so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted a Marlboro you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard that your lighter fell apart
Have you ever needed smoking so bad, so bad
Have you ever wanted a Marlboro
Have you ever wanted a Marlboro, yeah
Did you ever try so hard that your lighter fell apart
Have you ever needed smoking so bad
A note to the boss, I had to go, I had to smoke, baby, yeah

It's a crave, I just can't win, oh

Have you ever needed smoking so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted a Marlboro
Have you ever wanted a Marlboro, you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard, yeah
Have you ever needed smoking so bad ....

Ever wonder how those we chase after feel? No? Me neither. But here's a chase song all the same.
going back to parodize "You Got Me Runnin'"
written: 6/22/97
featured: previously posted

"We Got 'Em Runnin'"

They don't care too much for
Our obsession and our stalking
They're all sweet stuff, we're all lust
We're the kind, yeah, they can't trust
They gotta get out, step outside
Before we damage their hide
But we're there just to get a view
They gotta get away, away and loose

Oh no no, never thought they'd feel so stalked
We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
From us, they're gonna hide
And yesterday, everything seemed okay
Today they got to hide away
Oh they gotta hide

Now they're out on the street
But we're right at their feet
We might lose them, so get wise
Stop your whinin' and your lines
Oh gotta get their autographs
Something we all wanna have
And we're here to get a view
They gotta get away, away and loose

Oh no no, never thought they'd feel so stalked
We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
From us, they're gonna hide
And yesterday, everything seemed okay
Today they got to hide away
Oh they gotta hide

We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
We got them runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'

C'mon, whoa, ow, oh yeah
Runnin' away, c'mon
Oh watch them run
Runnin', runnin', runnin'

Oh no no, never thought they'd feel so stalked
We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
From us, they're gonna hide
And yesterday, everything seemed okay
Today they got to hide away
Oh they gotta hide

We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
We got them runnin', we got 'em runnin'
They're gettin' out, we got 'em runnin'
They can't take us no more, we got 'em runnin'
They've escaped, we got 'em runnin'
We got 'em runnin'