WARNING FROM THE SURGEON GENERAL:
This is not JUST a top TEN list ... it's WAY over ten .... Those with heart conditions or short attention spans may fall over without warning. Others may have the tendency to fall out of their seats with giggle-fits. None of these affects are curable, and it is suggested that this list should not be read in just one sitting. The good news is: this list is printable!

You know you spent too much time obsessing over Def Leppard when:

- You pout everytime you notice that Sav's pants ARE buttoned

- You write really strange song parodies and consider legally changing your first name to "Weird"

- And in one of those parodies, you plead for one of the Leps to sleep with you :-) (c'mon kids, how twisted can one get?)

- You have certain urges to move to either California or Ireland

- You throw underwear at their buses

- You freeze that certain shower scene at the end of In The Round, In Your Face and drool ...

- You sing "Photograph" to a picture of your favorite Lep

- You cheer about and record whatever song the local radio stations ACTUALLY play

- You laugh hysterically when someone "vertically flips" a pict of the guys ... 'cause Rick gets his left arm back!

- You critique the guys' wardrobe and think you'd look better in that sweater, while he/they would look better without any clothes on period! (hehehe)

- When that special someone wants you to say those little words that mean so much, you do so, saying, "Gunter Gleiben Glouten Glouben"

- You get giddy over picts with them actually smiling

- You know every instance where the guys wear each other's clothes or even each other's sunglasses

- You only know how to play the drums with one hand

- You consider a pilgrimage to the Hard Rock Cafe in L.A.

- You count how many videos have "surprise guests" in the background

- You think up really silly lists about obsessive behavior and call it a "Lep List"

- You actually know how to pronounce the words in the phrases that are recorded backwards as heard on the albums

- You tried your hardest to bleach your hair blonde inconspicuously ;-)

- Any mention of "sugar" makes you melt

- You watch National Geographic's special on leopards hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the band members in their natural habitat

- You know every word, grunt, stutter, "um," chuckle, or look given in any given interview

- You know every word to Joe's version of "Ziggy Stardust" on Video Archive

- You scoff at other musicians who perform "in the round"

- You pout everytime the Leps are wearing shirts

- You fall out of your seat and are completely useless for the rest of the day when one of the Leps answers the "How long can you last?" question!

- The first thing you think of, see, or hear in the morning is either the Leps or something pertaining to them!

- You have a homepage that is completely about the Leps and gives you the freedom to openly DROOL .... and make an arse out of yourself! Hey, wait a minute ... I resemble that remark!

- You name any of your pets after the Leps

- You name your pillow after one of the Leps!

- You climb countless stories to get into Sav's hotel room, via his window!

- You think pyromania is a good thing

- The words "Slang," "Shag," "Sorted mate," and "Bloody" are a part of your everyday, normal vocabulary ... when you DON'T know what they mean

- You beat the living tar out of anyone who asks "Is that Guns 'N' Roses?" while "Sugar" is soaring through the air

- You became a vegetarian because three out of the five are vegies ... but you splurge every once in a while in honor of the two remaining carnivores

- You have a leopard-print ANYTHING

- You have the tendency to wonder, "What are the Leps doing right now?"

- You play the Def Leppard Drinking Game a lot more often than is advised!

- You have a tendency to get a cockney British accent when you're either excited or just finished listening to an interview

- You try to Leppardize yourself (ouch!)

- You cringe at the phrase "eighties band" when someone is talking about Def Leppard

- You have homicidal tendencies when someone compares Def Leppard to any of the "typical" hair metal bands

- You send messages like, "Hi, honey," to the Leps via their OFFICIAL homepage

- Your license plate has either "def" or "lep" written somewhere on it

- You actually get pissed off by the Bloodhound Gang's lyrical realization that "the drummer from Def Leppard only got one arm"

- You spazz everytime someone misspells one of the guys' names (it's ELLIOTT! two l's and two t's! sheesh)

- You smack the person who asks if Rick lost his arm in a freak bus accident, where he stuck his arm out of the window and got it ripped off

- You have a section in your music collection set aside JUST for your Def Leppard albums/videos

- You've made out to just about every ballad the guys have ever written

- The Union Jack is part of your wardrobe

- You have more than ONE poster of the guys on your bedroom walls

- You best pick up line is, "Do you wanna get rocked?"

- You pray non-stop that the '80s were back JUST so MTV would play Def Leppard videos

- Your nicknames consist of "Heaven," "Animal," "Sugar," "Action," "Euphoria," "Rocket," "Shotgun," or any other word that coincides with one of Def Leppard's songs

- You no longer know how to spell "deaf" or "leopard" correctly

- You wish non-stop that Joe would "get it" from you

- Your only hidden talent is wind-milling a broom or tennis racket

- You are useless for the rest of the day after seeing Phil shake his thang during the "Rock of Ages" video

- You try to catch a glimpse of Viv in the videos of his previous bosses (okay, I couldn't let that one slide by!)

- You got drunk one night and don't remember much .... but somehow you have the likeness of Joe tattooed on some part of your anatomy ....

- Even worse, you got drunk one night and have the likeness of all FIVE tattooed on some part of your anatomy (if you were sober, it's not as embarrassing .... but it is a bit more twisted!)

- You wear more than three necklaces and two of them are really LARGE crosses

- You count exactly how many holes are in Joe's pants during the Hysteria tour

- Skulls are in a large part of your wardrobe

- You own the soundtrack to and the movie "Encino Man" ONLY because it has "Let's Get Rocked" in it

- Same goes for "Last Action Hero" kids! ONLY because "Two Steps Behind" is present!

- You wouldn't mind being a "Lephead." Hey, the Grateful Dead were able to pull it off

- You have a razor at the ready just in case you run into one of the guys and they need a shave

- The only way you can put picts of the guys in chronological order is by the style and length of their hair

- You can't help face the fact that Phil was one sexy girl

- Pattern-wise, none of your clothes match

- Soccer is now your favorite sport

- You've made swinging yourself silly on stage an official art form

- Your only running joke with your best friend deals with "hearing impaired felines who can't spell very well"

- You wish that VH1 would stop glorifying certain musical artists and give up some air time to our boys for once!

- After having your hand slapped by one of the Leps, you turn into a harmless puddle of primordial ooze and slowly migrate back to your seat to cherish every moment of the contact

- You can differentiate accurately between each Lep if you just had a butt shot

- You know every sexual innuendo the guys say or perform (i.e. "pumping" the microphone or "sliding" the guitar)

- You know instantly when Joe isn't wearing any underwear

- You know instantly when none of the guys are wearing any underwear

- You wonder suddenly, "Luci, when DO they wear underwear?!"

- After the guys sing one of their ballads, you have an overwhelming urge to hug all of them

- You know every instance where Malvin is actually in front of the camera

- You are determined - or even succeeded - in balancing that damn guitar on your face

- You wouldn't mind helping Joe out during "Sugar"

- There was no way of stopping your complete meltdown after hearing Phil sing "Miss You In A Heartbeat"

- Helping the guys out with their "equipment" wouldn't be such a bad job ...

- Eye glasses are now extremely sexy

- You got your ears pierced because, hey, it looks good on them!

- You own all of those Great '80s Rock albums that have one of the guys' songs on them

- Just a mention of their names ... see, 'nuff said!

- Sav's "butt-wiggle" floors you everytime

- In honor of Steve, you've learned how to play the guitar above your head

- You know every instance where Viv makes a face at the camera

- You own copies of their sheet music - even when you can't play it or read it for that matter!

- You own a copy of the Rock 'n' Roll Encyclopedia just because it has updated music info on the boys

- You can officially prove that yes, there are two video versions of "Photograph" and three video versions of "Sugar"

- You own every single magazine that even mentions the name Def Leppard or one of the guys' names (spelled correctly or not)

- You actually get ALL of their jokes

- You argue with the VJ/DJ that is on the air that if Def Leppard rocks so much, then why don't they play them more often?! (especially when you know their image/voice is not going to answer you)

- You get excessively irritated that when the radio/TV stations actually decide to play one of the Leps' songs, they whack off either the beginning or the end of it (i.e. "Love Bites")

- Your friends call you the "Walking File Cabinet of Facts About Def Leppard"

- You've decided to become a model because you've learned from the best posers in the world!

- Face it, you know more about them than THEY do!

- You made up names for all of the characters in the long version of "When Love & Hate Collide" (thx Jaimee)

- You've mastered the "Collen Shuffle"

- Do I really have to bring up those PVC pants hanging in the back of your closet?

- No matter their choice of hair style, you always look for the UP-side to it ...

- You've realized that the only Lep that hasn't gone through a drastic hairstyle is the Thunder God! (well as of 1999 ... he decided to BREAK the record *humph*)

- You know where all the typos are in Historia

- You've taped your own personal Def Leppard music video, starring ... YOU!

- You've added "When Saturday Comes" to your list of favorite movies (along with "Last Action Hero" and "Encino Man," of course) even though you've never seen it

- You have urges to be inanimate objects (Phil and Viv's guitars, Joe's microphone, Sav's bass, Rick's drum kit, et cetera)

- You spend time trying to figure out the connection between spiders and rats

- You yell, "Damn black squares!!" at the end of ITRIYF (BG)

- You are very familiar with their wardrobe, footwear, guitars, jewelry, basses, drum kits, et cetera

- You are useless for the rest of the day after on ITRIYF, they show Sav singing, "Legs, thighs" and Joe singing, "Won't you stay with me tonight?"

- When someone asks, "What do you want?" for any reason, you automatically respond, "I WANT ROCK 'N' ROLL!" (especially when you're at a fast food restaurant!)

- You despise certain ex-bosses of a certain Irish sweetie for *clearing throat* certain reasons

- You suddenly have a new found love for the music of David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Sweet, Queen, Thin Lizzy, Crowded House, et cetera

- You get a tone of begging and longing in your voice when singing such lines as "Come get it from me," "I wanna touch you," among many others!!

- EVERYTHING has to do with them (for example, li'l Leppette was watching baseball and the guy's last name was Casanova, and she automatically thought of ... SEE! YOU DID, TOO, DIDN'T YOU?!)

- Either Phil or Vivian lay down to play their guitars, shirts either hanging open or they are shirtless ... and you pass out

- You post sick, twisted, little fantasies on the net of Viv and an elevator, Joe and whipped cream, Savage sundaes, Nature Phil's and other things that could possibly get you arrested or a strait jacket

- You are at Joe's command. He tells you to say "yeah," you say "yeah." He tells you to sing it, or get up, or put your hands in the air, and you bet your bloody arse you WILL obey!

- You beg and pray one of the Leps would "Take a bite" off of you.

- After Viv sings "I'm the one who turns you on" on the demo of "Work It Out," you nod and then proceed to wipe away your drool as he keeps singing in that sexy, breathy, incredible way that makes you want to grab him and rip off his clothes and um ... (okay, I'll make our li'l Leppette stop now) ... }:-)

- The above can also go for Joe's rendition and Joe-lusters as well!!

- You get secretly (or openly, if you're having a bad day) miffed at people who claim to know "Sugar" and then murder the words. Especially by singing "Pour some sugar on me" instead of "Pour some suga on mehh" ... Sheesh! Don't people listen?

- Everytime one of the Leps turns their back to you it's instinct for your eyes to drift downward (more experienced lusters do so no matter what the angle is!)

- You feel like a complete arse when you sing the wrong words. ("Red-eye phone," "Saturday weekend" ... What in bloody hell were they smoking when they "heard" Joe sing those?)

- You honestly believe this theory: Tesla? Hothouse Flowers? Brian May? Malvin Mortimer? Mutt Lange? Peter Mensch? Best friends with the Leps means they must rule! (Well, they do!)

- For the Joe-lusters, your only comment during the "Armageddon It" video is "Oooh, shorts!"

- For the Phil-lovers out there, your only comment is "Woohoo, no shirt!"

- Do I really have to ask you where your attention is during the UK video for "Sugar?"

- Being the one armed drummer, you wonder just how much more talented Rick is! ;-)

- For any guys out there who are actually reading this list: (okay, so it's a stretch!) You have more jewelry than your girlfriend!

- You substitue the word "rock" with your other favorite four letter word

- You long to "trigger the gun," "pour some sugar on them," "stay with them awhile," "slang with them," "call them on the phone and baby go on over," "take them, tame them, make them your animal, show them, stroke them, let them be your animal," you get the drift! (All right, let's all face it ... we just want to do a lot of things to these poor sweeties that could more than likely put them in the hospital!)

- When one of their videos is on the screen, a tarantula could crawl up your leg and you wouldn't even flinch, or you would turn to it and say, "Do you mind? Joe is on the screen!"

- Your favorite thing to do to confuse people (especially while you're in a fight with someone) is to look them right in the eyes and "Gunter, Gleiben, Glouten, Globen" (try it, it works everytime! It's saved our Leppette from numerous fights escalating!)

- You say goodbye to other Lep lovin' friends by saying, "Remember, brush your teeth before bed, and if you're driving, don't forget your car." (See Visualize)

- Your only comment about the video for "Make Love Like A Man" is "Promises, promises ..." *sigh*

- Okay, so you have at least ONE comment for EACH of their videos

- You have more vests than your local police department!

- You admit that if you were that microphone in the "Let's Get Rocked" video, and you had that view of Phil's butt, you'd whistle too!

- Do I really have to bring up Punomania?

- You've found more than one use for the phrase "Gunter Gleiben Glouten Globen." .... like when you're at a bar and some jerk tries to pick you up ... just saying that phrase makes it sound like you don't know a bit of English!!

- You have a new respect for Glam

- No matter WHAT, if Joe ever got to star in that porn movie, you'd be his co-star damn it!

- "Well-hung" took on a whole NEW meaning after seeing Joe! ;-)

- When it comes to phrases, instead of sounding like your parents, you sound like the Leps

- You count each little hair on Phil's chest (that's not only sick, that's desperate!)

- You're going to choke the next person who asks "Where did the name Def Leppard come from?" or "What does Gunter Gleiben Glouten Globen mean?"

- You're completely dumbstruck when the radio or television play the Leps without you requesting them

- Those who have multi-disc CD players: each disc on deck is by Def Leppard

- Your friends made you promise that you were NOT going to dress up like Joe again this Hallowe'en ... so you decided to Phil this year

- In a devious attempt to have the radio stations play more Def Leppard, you call more than once and change your voice each time, trying to sound like someone else

- You refer to updating your Lep homepage and surfing other Lep homepages as "work"

- You instantly know when a tour bus passes by

- You spend hours upon hours wondering as to why Joe's the ONLY one who has a microphone in the videos when the other band members are singing too .... (I knew they were talented, but c'mon ....)

- You count how many times Joe goes flying over the steps on the stage while in the round (check out ITR:IYF)

- You get a kick out of when the guys suddenly realize where the camera is (either with annoyance, temprance, or amusement)

- You've ever read their horoscopes

- You know their astrology signs (down to the Chinese Astrology and even Numerology) in order to read their horoscopes AND to understand their personalities

- If you've ever picked up a CD, piece of clothing, et cetera, and said, "I wonder if Joe (or Sav, Phil, Rick, Viv) would like this?"

- You even know their parents' and siblings' names by heart

- You've ever written a story where the main male character just HAPPENS to be named Joe *G*

- We won't even mention that the above story also contains a character named Phil, oh and Rick, then there's Vivian ... and Sav too ... whoops, can't forget Malvin! *BG*

- You celebrate each and every birthday that has to do with them, down to Rory's, Lauren's, and Lily's

- You already have a few outfit options chosen to wear to their next concert, whenever it may be

- Admit it, you've sung your favourite sappy love songs to their posters

- You own a pair of boots just like the ones Steve used to wear

- You get mad at yourself when YOU accidently misspell their names (damn it)

- You have more leather than a herd of cattle

- Diet Coke is now your favorite drink

- You now play golf on a regular basis ("fore! ooh, that had to hurt ...")

- You have a deep appreciation for Indian cuisine

- You have at least one pair of ripped jeans!

- You put down one of the Leps on your Christmas wish list!

- Instead of getting you one of the Leps, your family or friends give you something leopard print!

- In an attempt to masacre your love of Leppard, you family or friends OVERKILL the leopard print items!!

- The only reason why you're going to see the new Bruce Willis movie is because it's called "Armageddon." (If you are now humming the song, you are in dire need of a LIFE!!!)

- You refer to the band as "the guys," "your boys," or "your future harem"

- While searching for the sexiest trait of one of the Leps, you find it extremely difficult to find just ONE

- You suddenly have a David Bowie fetish

- You suddenly have a skull fetish

- You realize that Joe and Viv don't look too bad in drag

- You have stuffed leopards named Joe, Viv, Phil, Rick, Sav, Steve, and Malvin

- It's really bad when you have one named Mutt

- I am not touching Retro Guessing, and neither are you! :-)

- You sign the guest book to the Leppard Lair more than once (oh, wait, that's if you're obsessed with me! Never mind. ....)

- Your jeans have more holes than a field full of gophers

- You have a fetish for guys who have dimpled chins

- Do I have to bring up your shrine with all of those pictures and candles?

- You use the Leps as a homework assignment

- You have the official homepage monitored just in case it actually gets updated! (ha!)

- You really wish you could major in Def Leppard in college (Mr. Pockett 101, anyone?)

- You have a vendetta against any VJ/DJ that verbally bashed our boys!

- You visit your psychiatrist and realize that you've driving them either absolutely crazy or into an obsessive state over Def Leppard too!

- You call up your local radio station and dedicate a song to your favorite Lep

- You find it sacreligious to place your Def Leppard CD/tape/video in another band's casing, even for just a second!

- You wonder how much tighter those pants can REALLY get!

- You name your kids after the Leps!

- Do I have to bring up DEFinitely?

- You proudly announce that you are not a fashion victim! (see Much Music vid)

- You compare other musicians - constantly - to the Leps

- You make devious plans to convert impressionable family and friends into die-hard Lepfans! :-)

- You concoct devious plans on how to get MTV and VH1 to play Def Leppard videos

- When you wear a button-down shirt, you have a tendency to leave it unbuttoned and hanging open

- They're the only reason that you picked an instrument up in the first place

- When watching ITF:IYF, you know every instance when the director incorporates extra shots from different concerts

- You spend hours upon hours discussing anything and everything as long as it has something to do with Def Leppard

- You keep count of how many times Sav has to fix his guitar strap during ITR:IYF

- You've finally come up with a really good reason as to why the guys have a tendency to stick their arms straight up in the air (you don't know if it is correct, but hey, it makes sense to you!)

- When moving along to their songs, you can't help but pose like Joe when singing, or pulling stunts like Phil, Viv, Sav, or Steve when playing air guitar, or pounding away with two feet and one arm when trying to be "the drummer" (you know you do it, don't deny it!)

- You are one sick puppy if you just recently got dread locks!

- You can actually find yourself in the crowd when watching a live performance video

- You have the Phil Collen answering machine message on yours at home!

- You wish you were the reason Phil was flat on his back on stage!

- No matter who or what they're talking about, when you hear Joe, Rick, Vivian, Savage, Steve, or Malvin, your instant reaction is to look and demand, "Where?!"

- You've got custom-made card board cut-outs of the band in your bedroom!

- You taped the Behind The Music special so you can watch it over and over and over ....

- You now have the VH1 Behind the Music special memorized!

- When holding a microphone, you unconsciously hold in your left hand even though you’re right handed

- You do your aerobics routine to any or all of their videos (namely ITR:IYF and Historia) (thx Sioux!)

- You spend your lunch time listening to the Leps over and over and over again so you have the strength to go back to work afterwards

- You get a ridiculous grin on your face everytime you hear "All Night"

- You actually made a paper sun just 'cause

- You sing "All Night" or "It's Only Love" to a picture of your fave Lep

- You wish your favourite Lep would "just do it" ... especially with YOU!

- For the guys: you want to be your girl's demolition man

- You get a kick out of telling people not to make promises they can't keep

- You buy all the different releases of each of the Leps' albums from all the different countries ....

- Your email address has ANYTHING in it that's Lep related

- When you go to other bands' concerts you wish whole heartedly that it was the Leps on stage instead

- You guestimate when the guys will arrive in the next city on their tour as well as when they do sound checks ... when they eat ... when they take the stage .....

- You tape every episode of Rock Show on VH1 just to make sure you didn't miss anything Lep related!

- You watch their newest video at least ONCE a day. More than once just means you're more obsessed!!

- To explain just one of your many odd behaviours, like why you're screaming with glee in the department store, they completely understand after you say just two words: "Def Leppard"

- You can't help but use the words "hysteria," "pyromania," "euphoria," "slang" among others ... no matter WHAT you're talking about!

- You enter any contest that sends you to California or the UK

- Your nickname now consists of ANY of the following: 21st Century Sha La La La Girl

- You time Phil and Viv, to see how long it takes them to take OFF their shirts

- During a concert you find yourself utterly speechless when the boys whip those shirts off … *muttering gibberish*

- You now have a tiger print jacket

- Do I have to mention the snake print pants that are now in your wardrobe?!

- Your child sees a picture of Joe and says, "Hey Mom, there's your friend Joe!" … don't know where they could get such an idea from though ...? (thx Deb!!)

- You create Lep photo mantages just for pure amusement

- Okay what's your computer's wallpaper again?

- You now own a pair of "garbage pants"

- You wouldn't mind dueting with Joe, especially during "All Night" *ahem* ("Okay, Joe, now for my motivation I want you to …" heheheheheheeeee)

- When asked who your influences are - no matter the subject - you find some way to cite the Leps

- New friend? co-worker? lover? Well you find some way to try and convert them into Lepfans if they aren't already

- I'm not touching the whole "fly outta state to catch a gig" concept! Just, let's not go there!

- You become increasingly grumpy the longer you go without hearing a Def Leppard song *merowr* And to think, your friends decided that you need to just get laid! *EG*

- When folks ask, "Don't you listen to any other bands?" You instantly reply, "There are other bands?"

- You realized you can spell out Def Leppard on your finger/toe nails.

- Lep related tattoos anyone?

- You're now addicted to curry

- You've actually printed out this list!

- You kiss the radio everytime the radio station plays a Def Leppard tune!

- You decide to start a movement to get the Leps on the Simpsons because Joe likes it so much. (thx KitKat!)

- You buy an album because it's on the 'Favourite Albums' list-o-mania at the back of Animal Instinct. (thx KitKat!)

- You buy Ian Hunter's Diary of a Rock 'n' Roll star because Joe likes that as well! (thx KitKat!)

- Every time you see another band you do a double take... "Hold on... that drummer's got two arms!" (thx KitKat!)

If you recognize any of these behaviors as your own, it is definitely the time to get professional help!
Or you'll turn out to be just like ME! :-D