not nice to be nice

you know it's not nice to be nice
every act of kindness surely carries its price
i've never really been that kind

thought i meant to make it straight from the heart
starve the pain that tore me apart
i'll stay inside for a while

first to know
[the sickness about?]
drop it for dead
figure it out
you can leave anyone behind

convinced myself i don't even care
to keep [?] never dare 
they kill me by the end