Top 26 Children's Books *Not* recommended by the National Library Assoc.

26. Bob the Germ's Wondrous Journey Into and Back Out of Your Digestive System.

25. The Little Engine that Could Becomes intoxicated and Kills Civilians.

24. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer's Games of Revenge.

23. Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures.

22. Dick, Jane, and Spot Wander into the 'Hood'.

21. Clifford the Big Red-Dog Accidentally Eats his Masters and is Put to Sleep.

20. Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from your Nose.

19. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad.

18. The Tickling Babysitter

17. A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides.

16. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories.

15. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle.

14. Babar Meets the Taxidermist and becomes a Piano.

13. Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear.

12. David Duke's World of Imagination.

11. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence.

10. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables.

9. Legends of Scab Football.

8. Teddy: the Elf with the Detached Retina.

7. Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer.

6. Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales But Can't Remember the Endings to All of them.

5. Ed Beckley's Start a real-estate Empire with the change from your Mom's Purse.

4. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy.

3. Things Rich Kids Have, but you never will.

2. Let's Draw Betty and Veronica without their clothes on.

1. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead.