Blonde goes into hair salon with headphones on. Sits down to have hair done. Insists she must keep earphones on. Fruit doing her hair gets disgusted at having to constantly work around them, pulls them off, goes across the room to discuss whatever fags discuss with one of his buddies. Comes back to find blonde dead on floor, turning blue in face and around the nails. Calls cops, faints.

Later, realizes tape recorder still on floor. Curious, puts on headphones. Hears voice droning over and over "breathe in....breathe out...."

Two guys in a pickup truck were driving home one day, when they see a dirt road that was big enough for only one vehicle. They debated a while whether or not to explore what was down there. In the end, they decided to go for it.

After driving down the road for a while, they saw Judi standing on the side of the road. She asked for a ride, and they agreed, so she hopped in the back of truck.

They continued driving down the road, when all of a sudden a semi-truck was coming right towards them. They swerved off the road and ended up in a river.

The two guys got out in time, but they didn't see Judi. They started to think the worst and feared she died. A few minutes later, she suddenly appeared and they incredulously asked her what happened.

She said, "I couldn't get the tailgate open."

Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "if only I can sell the car."

"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."

How can you tell a blonde has been dating?

All the belt buckle prints on her forehead.

Blonde is going too fast, gets pulled over for speeding.

Cop gets out, sizes her up, and unzips pants, grinning.

Blonde: "Oh God. Another breathalyzer test?"

Why was the blonde so proud when she complete the puzzle in only 6 months?

On the box it said "3-5 yrs".

A blonde is walking down a creek. While she's looking around she notices Judi walking along the other side of the creek. She yells to the other blonde. "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"

Judi replies, "You are on the other side!"