What can a bird do that a man can't?

	Whistle through his pecker.

Why didn't the woman blink during foreplay?

	She didn't have time.

Why did the man cross the road?

	He heard the Chicken was a slut.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

	They don't stop to ask directions.

Why did God put men on earth

	Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men brains?

	Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

	They are usually intended for children, but it's the men who end up playing with them.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?

	Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vaporlock

Why do men masturbate?

	It's sex with someone they love.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

	So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God make a man before a woman?

	You need a rough draft before you get a final copy.

Why is pee yellow and sperm white?

	So he can tell if he is coming or going.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?

	Nobody nows, It hasn't happened yet.

Have you heard of the Lorena Bobbitt computer virus?

	It turns your hard drive itno a 3 1/2 inch floppy.